Yesterday was the worst

[Muse]

I saw my "boyfriend". He always complains about his alcoholic wife. Always says that he will leave her because she's a mess, violent... but yesterday he admitted that he will never leave her. Even if she is violent. And he said "'I like you but I don't love you. You will never get anything from me."

During this last month I tried so much to live and be happy. I tried hard and harder. But life sucks. Nobody will ever love the monster in me.

I plan to ctb but I can't afford N because I am broken. Not enough money.

So, I think of ctb with charcoals.

I feel so bad. Yesterday night I spent 2 hours in front of my house in my car crying, yelling and suffocating because of the pain in my heart.

Oh my God I love that man so much. Please please help me.

 

[Dot]

U wll alwys b wrth mre thn sm1 wh/ ds nt wnt u - h/ ds nt snd wrth ur tme

Am srry h/ hs let u fl ths wy & srry tht u cnnt C hw wrthy u rlly r

 

[Muse]

U wll alwys b wrth mre thn sm1 wh/ ds nt wnt u - h/ ds nt snd wrth ur tme

Am srry h/ hs let u fl ths wy & srry tht u cnnt C hw wrthy u rlly r

Thank you for your words. I feel like a mess, a garbage, nothing good. I feel that I am empty. I don't understand why life is so hard.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. Some people are just so cruel. I know that this life can be unbearable when you are in so much pain and I understand that it can be dreadful when things just get worse. I wish you the best in whatever happens.