Why do so many people seem to hate fat people?

[Thunderstorm]

Anyone who is fat will probably know what its like going outside and hearing some comments behind your back in the supermarket or whatever.
Ive been skinny. Then fat .. Then losing lots of weight, then fat again.
People seem to think its okay, because to them its such a simple issue. Its all the persons own fault. They are lazy. End of story. They know everything they need to know. (They think)
They don't want to consider anything else, like the fact that some people just gains more weight than others.
They don't want to consider that many people gains weight because of poor mental health state or medicine.
The whole thing is reduced to "You're lazy"
The irony here is that I remember once making a comment in my teens "I don't understand how people can get so fat"
Well I found out. I got to the point where I just didn't care anymore. I hated my life and myself, but at least I got some pleasure in life from eating.
I later would start keto diet, and lost tons of weight. I've gained some back, but still no where near as big as I got at my worst. I'm probably around 120-130 kg right now. Worst I got to was like 185 kg.
I've considered starting on one of those weight loss drugs, but I'm a little hesitant. Hoping I can just get the motivation for another round of keto instead.
But I will need to be in a better mental state than I am right now.
Then again, maybe I will kill myself and all this wont matter.
Idk, guess I'm just venting

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I have always thought it is mean of people to just think you're lazy if you're overweight. So many overweight people I know are actually incredibly active!!!!

I'm petite so a fluctuation of 10 or 20 pounds really shows on me. I got to my heaviest when I was right out of the hospital and in an IOP. I had to go there four days a week so I was using more of my clothes than usual and I felt like I was stuffing myself into all my clothes even jackets! I was panicked I thought was going to have to buy all new clothes. That was certainly a wake up Call to how people feel when they gain a lot weight, which was something I had never really considered. In the end, I finally did get some new clothes, but it wasn't until a few months later that I finally relented.

Sorry for your suffering

 

[honorando]

Because they are lazy like ir or not.
They have the ablilty to change their body to a healhty one, some try and some dont.
Even if a fat person says that they are happy with being fat, they are simply lying.

 

[DivineSpark]

My schizo meds made me gain like 20 kgs, so it is not really my fault.

 

[Higurashi415]

Because they are lazy like ir or not.
They have the ablilty to change their body to a healhty one, some try and some dont.
Even if a fat person says that they are happy with being fat, they are simply lying.

eh I've never understood the laziness argument, it's actually very hard to eat the amount of food that would make you obese. not eating feels much lazier than eating

 

[psp3000]

people are/will always be shocked and go back to their childlike self (edit: if they are unaware of never matured I guess) when people exist in public that aren't the default or idealized (people who look different or aren't the norm in general, basically the meme below but with both children and adults and then just replace the "physical disabilities" part with whatever makes people stare at you often or say nasty remarks)

 

[wham311]

Aa a former attractive person, the very shallow reasoning is they aren't nice to look at which makes the world worse and they should just get their shit together "like me"

eh I've never understood the laziness argument, it's actually very hard to eat the amount of food that would make you obese. not eating feels much lazier than eating

I know you're being funny but it isn't hard to get fat. Just the wrong thing sometimes. Comfort food for dopamine hit, one extra helping of spaghetti and a boba a day will put on weight. Potentially 50lbs a year

 

[Kimlett]

Because they are lazy like ir or not.
They have the ablilty to change their body to a healhty one, some try and some dont.
Even if a fat person says that they are happy with being fat, they are simply lying.

I've tried to change my body a thousand times, but I can't. Simply because I'm highly addicted to food, and there's no cure for that addiction. But of course nobody cares about that. I wish you could be in my shoes for one day.

Anyone who is fat will probably know what its like going outside and hearing some comments behind your back in the supermarket or whatever.
Ive been skinny. Then fat .. Then losing lots of weight, then fat again.
People seem to think its okay, because to them its such a simple issue. Its all the persons own fault. They are lazy. End of story. They know everything they need to know. (They think)
They don't want to consider anything else, like the fact that some people just gains more weight than others.
They don't want to consider that many people gains weight because of poor mental health state or medicine.
The whole thing is reduced to "You're lazy"
The irony here is that I remember once making a comment in my teens "I don't understand how people can get so fat"
Well I found out. I got to the point where I just didn't care anymore. I hated my life and myself, but at least I got some pleasure in life from eating.
I later would start keto diet, and lost tons of weight. I've gained some back, but still no where near as big as I got at my worst. I'm probably around 120-130 kg right now. Worst I got to was like 185 kg.
I've considered starting on one of those weight loss drugs, but I'm a little hesitant. Hoping I can just get the motivation for another round of keto instead.
But I will need to be in a better mental state than I am right now.
Then again, maybe I will kill myself and all this wont matter.
Idk, guess I'm just venting

I get what you mean. I may kill myself too and end this stupid frustrating painful everyday struggle. But I really hope you get better.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Hate is a damn strong word to use. Dislike may be better. I've only "hated" a few things in my entire life. I've known quite a few overweight/fat people in my life. I don't know that I've ever thought of any of them as lazy. Heck, I've even dated a few, although I'm not really a chubby chaser. I, also, knew a few people who were on steroids for various medical issues and they certainly gained a lot of weight while on them. So, the comment from the other poster that "they have the ablilty to change their body to a (healthy) one" doesn't always hold true and is a rather ignorant statement to make. I wonder how that poster will feel, if he (assuming) ever gets married, and after his wife gives birth to several of his children, packs on quite a few pounds?

 

[wham311]

I've tried to change my body a thousand times, but I can't. Simply because I'm highly addicted to food, and there's no cure for that addiction. But of course nobody cares about that. I wish you could be in my shoes for one day.

I get what you mean. I may kill myself too and end this stupid frustrating painful everyday struggle. But I really hope you get better.

There's a cure, you have to stop eating it. I know how simple that sounds and how hard it is, but it really comes down to do not put that next thing with sugar in yoir face. It feeds itself, you satitate cravings and they come back twice as hard and make you hungrier

Yes it is consequence of other issues in your life making you unhappy and this being a rush of dopamine.

It's not easy. It really isn't. I remember pulling myself from Adderall addiction and I had to change my entire life to do so. Took inventory of all the pain it was causing and had to change jobs to stop using. I could only do one thing a day for a half hour and then sleeping the rest of the day. But eventually pulled out of it.

 

[Thunderstorm]

Hate is a damn strong word to use. Dislike may be better. I've only "hated" a few things in my entire life. I've known quite a few overweight/fat people in my life. I don't know that I've ever thought of any of them as lazy. Heck, I've even dated a few, although I'm not really a chubby chaser. I, also, knew a few people who were on steroids for various medical issues and they certainly gained a lot of weight while on them. So, the comment from the other poster that "they have the ablilty to change their body to a (healthy) one" doesn't always hold true and is a rather ignorant statement to make. I wonder how that poster will feel, if he (assuming) ever gets married, and after his wife gives birth to several of his children, packs on quite a few pounds?

I think hate is very accurate in many cases
You have to hate someone to ruin their day by insulting them publically
If a person walks by me and says "ew", I think that's hate.
Most of the times it's younger people. And I try to be more understanding in these cases, as I was a complete asshole as a teenager myself.
But if you're an adult who walks around insulting people, your ugly personality is far more hideous than a fat persons looks

 

[kitkat9234]

I have always thought it is mean of people to just think you're lazy if you're overweight. So many overweight people I know are actually incredibly active!!!!

I'm petite so a fluctuation of 10 or 20 pounds really shows on me. I got to my heaviest when I was right out of the hospital and in an IOP. I had to go there four days a week so I was using more of my clothes than usual and I felt like I was stuffing myself into all my clothes even jackets! I was panicked I thought was going to have to buy all new clothes. That was certainly a wake up Call to how people feel when they gain a lot weight, which was something I had never really considered. In the end, I finally did get some new clothes, but it wasn't until a few months later that I finally relented.

Sorry for your suffering

I'm petite as well and do not carry weight well. My psych meds have caused me to gain so much I look horrible. I used to be able to fit in a girls extra large now im in a women's 14. It's like it happened overnight. I hate these meds. It's so depressing and I hate going out in public let alone look in the mirror. Ugh.

 

[Thunderstorm]

Because they are lazy like ir or not.
They have the ablilty to change their body to a healhty one, some try and some dont.
Even if a fat person says that they are happy with being fat, they are simply lying.

I don't think anyone in here is saying they are happy with being fat
Just that there are other reasons than everything boiling down to "you're lazy" to how they got there

Sorry for your suffering

Thank u

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Because they are lazy like ir or not.
They have the ablilty to change their body to a healhty one, some try and some dont.
Even if a fat person says that they are happy with being fat, they are simply lying.

Yeah, no. I've met plenty of fat people before who were far from lazy. Hell, back when I did gymnastics there was a fat girl in my class and she was a pretty darn good gymnast, at least from what I could tell. Why someone is fat is complex and often times cannot be explained by them just being "lazy". Some people are more prone to weight gain compared to others. Some people have medical conditions that may put them at risk of gaining weight and may make losing it hard, such as those who have PCOS or thyroid problems. Some people take medications that cause weight gain. Psychological conditions, like binge-eating disorder and depression, can also lead to weight gain.

There are also plenty of people who don't mind being fat, whether you like it or not. Often times the issue isn't being fat itself, but rather it is the way in which society treats fat people and portrays fatness that causes fat people to be unhappy with themselves.

Even if it were the case that all fat people are lazy and could change their bodies if they wanted to, I still do not see how that gives anyone the right to mistreat them. They are human beings who are just as deserving of respect as the next person.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I think hate is very accurate in many cases
You have to hate someone to ruin their day by insulting them publically
If a person walks by me and says "ew", I think that's hate.
Most of the times it's younger people. And I try to be more understanding in these cases, as I was a complete asshole as a teenager myself.
But if you're an adult who walks around insulting people, your ugly personality is far more hideous than a fat persons looks

Idk. I don't think that's hate. It may be disgust (in their mind), but that still isn't equivalent to hate. Certainly, it's poor social etiquette to verbalize every thought, hurtful thoughts, that come to mind. Idk. Hate seems like something more. Hate is like an ongoing thing, something with continuation. In that brief moment in time, they expressed their ignorant beliefs and then moved on. They'll probably never even think of you again. They're just immature. Young people often are. They're probably going to end up themselves there one day, when their metabolism slows and the years of living pack on the pounds. I hate giving platitudes, but it's more important what you think of yourself. If you don't like something about yourself that is within your power to change, do it. At least give it a try. If it doesn't bother you, don't worry about it. The only person you need to make happy is yourself. Maybe a spouse, too, but you still come first in that regard, because if you're not happy, you sure aren't going to be able to make anyone else happy.

 

[tercermundista]

Because they are lazy like ir or not.
They have the ablilty to change their body to a healhty one, some try and some dont.
Even if a fat person says that they are happy with being fat, they are simply lying.

All addicts lie, and above all, they lie to themselves.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Hate is a damn strong word to use. Dislike may be better.

Nope, hate is the better term here. Look at how fat people are treated by society. It's to a point where we literally ended up having to coin a term for the discrimination that plus-sized individuals face (i.e. fatphobia).

The number of people who are currently or who have been fat before who have talked about facing all sorts of awful mistreatment, not just from strangers, but even from family, friends, medical professionals, and so on is insurmountable. Fat people are seen as not even deserving of enjoying basic things in life, are often portrayed negatively in media (which is especially the case for fat women and is even more apparent for fat WOC), they get rude stares in public for eating anything other than a bland salad with no dressing, often have a harder time finding work due to discrimination, they often deal with people making fun of them for exercising, are stereotyped as being smelly slobs, etc. Hell, my grandfather would sometimes just point and laugh at fat people walking around and minding their own business as though their existence in of itself was some sort of joke.

When talking about your experiences with dating fat people you literally made sure to specify that you were not a "chubby chaser". Doesn't that fucking come off as weird to you that you felt the need to specify that you don't have a fat fetish when talking about your experiences when dating plus-sized individuals? That's literally because we equate fatness with automatically being unattractive and act as though if you are attracted to someone, usually a woman/femme-presenting person, who has a larger body then that must mean you have a fetish because there is no way a "normal" person would find someone in a larger body to be attractive.

Honestly, you probably benefit from watching this video that goes over how fat people are often portrayed in media since it gives you a small taste of just how hated fat people are.

 

[Thunderstorm]

Idk. I don't think that's hate. It may be disgust (in their mind), but that still isn't equivalent to hate. Certainly, it's poor social etiquette to verbalize every thought, hurtful thoughts, that come to mind. Idk. Hate seems like something more. Hate is like an ongoing thing, something with continuation. In that brief moment in time, they expressed their ignorant beliefs and then moved on. They'll probably never even think of you again. They're just immature. Young people often are. They're probably going to end up themselves there one day, when their metabolism slows and the years of living pack on the pounds. I hate giving platitudes, but it's more important what you think of yourself. If you don't like something about yourself that is within your power to change, do it. At least give it a try. If it doesn't bother you, don't worry about it. The only person you need to make happy is yourself. Maybe a spouse, too, but you still come first in that regard, because if you're not happy, you sure aren't going to be able to make anyone else happy.

Thanks, but .. Did you read my OP? :)
I have given it a try and are considering taking steps towards it again.
Also I'm certainly not happy and think that ship has sailed long time ago for my life.
For many reasons. Being fat is just another annoyance to deal with.
But probably not so surprising that I'm not happy given where I'm posting this thread.
I certainly disagree with your definition of hate. But think we'll just have to agree to disagree on that one.

 

[Carrot]

Talk. Be honest. Tell people when they think they are being rude. Ask them if they want to know why you are this way, or tell them that you are aware of it and don't want to be reminded about it all the time.

If somebody is just rude intentionally and isn't willing to change or respect you, you might need to cut them from your life.

Communication is key. Will it solve the issue? Unlikely, but it will give you something to work with and maybe you or the other person will learn something.

Unfortunatly hate and shame can be a way to keep certain behaviour in check, keep them away. Some people just hate because it makes them feel better. Although there are other ways to go about it.

That's all I have, sorry.

 

[Kimlett]

There's a cure, you have to stop eating it. I know how simple that sounds and how hard it is, but it really comes down to do not put that next thing with sugar in yoir face. It feeds itself, you satitate cravings and they come back twice as hard and make you hungrier

Yes it is consequence of other issues in your life making you unhappy and this being a rush of dopamine.

It's not easy. It really isn't. I remember pulling myself from Adderall addiction and I had to change my entire life to do so. Took inventory of all the pain it was causing and had to change jobs to stop using. I could only do one thing a day for a half hour and then sleeping the rest of the day. But eventually pulled out of it.

I appreciate your intentions, but what should I stop eating exactly? Sugar, including fruit? Sweeteners? Fat? Salt? Cheese? Flour, bread or cereals of any kind? Because I'm addicted to all those things. It's not like any other addiction because I need to eat to survive. It's inescapable. So I won't be able to go to a restaurant ever again? So I will never eat the delicious meals my mom does? I will forever feel miserable with my disgusting lettuce with no seasoning while I see my lean friends eating pizzas and cakes? Dying just sounds more appealing. Not trying to be rude, really, it just hurts too much, thanks for trying to help.

 

[Thunderstorm]

Talk. Be honest. Tell people when they think they are being rude. Ask them if they want to know why you are this way, or tell them that you are aware of it and don't want to be reminded about it all the time.

Thanks .. but definitely no.
I don't know how to talk with people in general.
And if it's someone bullying me I'm definitely not able to.
Besides, in this day an age it could just end up with them filming a "fat guy has a mental breakdown" tik tok

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

As an ex fat fuck: REVENGE, GET BULLIED, WITH THE OBESITY RATE, IM THE KING BULLY NOW OW0

 

[Carrot]

Because they are lazy like ir or not.
They have the ablilty to change their body to a healhty one, some try and some dont.
Even if a fat person says that they are happy with being fat, they are simply lying.

Couldn't you say this about any issue? For example somebody could say suicidal people are lazy, they are playing victim. Just acknoledge your reality and do something about it, do the best with what the situation you are in instead of crying.

People can end up in different situations for many reasons, and can have different metabolisms, different coping mechanisms, different tolerance for things. Two people can behave differently in the same situstion. Sometimes something is too much to deal with for one person, while being easy for the other.

Hate doesn't bring us anywhere better. I'm not telling you to be attracted to fat people, but defending hating somebody in this case is strange to me.

 

[wham311]

I appreciate your intentions, but what should I stop eating exactly? Sugar, including fruit? Sweeteners? Fat? Salt? Cheese? Flour, bread or cereals of any kind? Because I'm addicted to all those things. It's not like any other addiction because I need to eat to survive. It's inescapable. So I won't be able to go to a restaurant ever again? So I will never eat the delicious meals my mom does? I will forever feel miserable with my disgusting lettuce with no seasoning while I see my lean friends eating pizzas and cakes? Dying just sounds more appealing. Not trying to be rude, really, it just hurts too much, thanks for trying to help.

No I entirely agree with you. I think it's a valid reason. I completely get it.

When I was healthy, I had to refuse everything. Every free donut thrown my way, carbs, sweeteners fats yes.

Chicken, rice, tuna, salad all that shit. Foodwas turned into medicine essentially, it was not to be enjoyed. But you can make that stuff enjoyable if you know how to cook. Poke is awesome for example.

(Eats sloppy joes and yogurt as I type this)

 

[soledad.virgen]

society has conditioned people to see being fat as a moral failure, when in many cases its a result of environmental factors. easy example being food deserts and people being so tired from their shitty jobs that fast food is their default. it's easy to seek comfort from sugary soda and processed carbs, especially when they're engineered to be addictive.

i used to be overweight but after losing it and getting pretty skinny it's pretty disheartening to see how much better i get treated. girls are very friendly until they realize i have bpd hhh so it's not all that

if anyone wants tips on how to lose weight just browse edtwt and copy what all those anorexic girls do hhh, they're skinny for a reason after all. find out your tdee by googling a tdee calculator, count your calories, and stay consistent. you will have some days where you binge eat and go past your calorie limit, but if you manage to stick to a deficit more often then not you'll be fine. maybe you'll get an eating disorder like me but i prefer somewhat liking the way i look and the social treatment i get now vs being fat.

 

[Carrot]

Thanks .. but definitely no.
I don't know how to talk with people in general.
And if it's someone bullying me I'm definitely not able to.
Besides, in this day an age it could just end up with them filming a "fat guy has a mental breakdown" tik tok

I'm not sure what you can do then, what do you expect? What do you want to happen? How to bring that change, whatever it is, to existence?

You could end up in a video anyway. People can and already do cut people out of context to make them look bad, even if they did or said nothing wrong.

What helps me is that I generally (with some exceptions) act in a nice way that, it gives me a sense of relief, I didn't no anything wrong in some case and if somebody is going to paint me in a certain way, then so be it. Solving hate isn't an easy thing, especially when so much terrible behaviour is rewarded.

 

[skybox]

I've been fat since childhood, lowest I've been in my adult life was 150lbs, highest was 230. I do self project that hatred against other overweight people do some extent, I wouldn't date one. Hanging around eating disorder communities hasn't helped and I've never been a fan of the HAES movement because it's untrue. I'm finally losing weight again thanks to an injection, I have binge eating disorder (I do not purge) and haven't been able to lose weight on my own like I usually can. Been counting calories since 2013, for me, when people complain about not being able to lose weight they really haven't tried to stop eating so much. Eating is SO easy, I've had weeks of pounding 3000-5000 calories per day. Being fat is easy.

 

[ObsidianEnigma]

I appreciate your intentions, but what should I stop eating exactly? Sugar, including fruit? Sweeteners? Fat? Salt? Cheese? Flour, bread or cereals of any kind? Because I'm addicted to all those things. It's not like any other addiction because I need to eat to survive. It's inescapable. So I won't be able to go to a restaurant ever again? So I will never eat the delicious meals my mom does? I will forever feel miserable with my disgusting lettuce with no seasoning while I see my lean friends eating pizzas and cakes? Dying just sounds more appealing. Not trying to be rude, really, it just hurts too much, thanks for trying to help.

I think it depends on each person's body. For me this worked for a rapid weight loss:

Do not touch sugar and cereals at all. Drink only water or 100 per cent juice. Eat as much of fruit, vegetable and meat as you wish. Be careful with milk products. Some effects can be felt in days, but it requires determination for a few months.

I don't follow it strictly myself, I enjoy the food too much. But it is very important for me to limit cereals and sugars all the time or I would be very fat.

 

[Thunderstorm]

I'm not sure what you can do then, what do you expect? What do you want to happen? How to bring that change, whatever it is, to existence?

You could end up in a video anyway. People can and already do cut people out of context to make them look bad, even if they did or said nothing wrong.

What helps me is that I generally (with some exceptions) act in a nice way that, it gives me a sense of relief, I didn't no anything wrong in some case and if somebody is going to paint me in a certain way, then so be it. Solving hate isn't an easy thing, especially when so much terrible behaviour is rewarded.

It's not my responsibility to do anything at all in this situation

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I've been fat since childhood, lowest I've been in my adult life was 150lbs, highest was 230. I do self project that hatred against other overweight people do some extent, I wouldn't date one. Hanging around eating disorder communities hasn't helped and I've never been a fan of the HAES movement because it's untrue. I'm finally losing weight again thanks to an injection, I have binge eating disorder (I do not purge) and haven't been able to lose weight on my own like I usually can. Been counting calories since 2013, for me, when people complain about not being able to lose weight they really haven't tried to stop eating so much. Eating is SO easy, I've had weeks of pounding 3000-5000 calories per day. Being fat is easy.

There are people who report still having issues with losing weight, even after doing things like getting gastric bypass surgery, which significantly reduces the amount of food you are able to eat. Weight loss is complex and the fact that you are only starting to lose weight thanks, in part, to you getting injections kind of contradicts your claims about people needing to just eat less if they want to lose weight. Along with that, your experiences with being fat are not generalizable. There are many who are fat but who don't eat large amounts of food. It's important to note that food quality has gone down and this does have an impact on weight loss, especially for poorer individuals who can't afford to buy better quality foods. Along with that, some people have health conditions or might be taking medications that make weight loss harder.