Why do so many people seem to hate fat people?

[Thunderstorm]

Anyone who is fat will probably know what its like going outside and hearing some comments behind your back in the supermarket or whatever.
Ive been skinny. Then fat .. Then losing lots of weight, then fat again.
People seem to think its okay, because to them its such a simple issue. Its all the persons own fault. They are lazy. End of story. They know everything they need to know. (They think)
They don't want to consider anything else, like the fact that some people just gains more weight than others.
They don't want to consider that many people gains weight because of poor mental health state or medicine.
The whole thing is reduced to "You're lazy"
The irony here is that I remember once making a comment in my teens "I don't understand how people can get so fat"
Well I found out. I got to the point where I just didn't care anymore. I hated my life and myself, but at least I got some pleasure in life from eating.
I later would start keto diet, and lost tons of weight. I've gained some back, but still no where near as big as I got at my worst. I'm probably around 120-130 kg right now. Worst I got to was like 185 kg.
I've considered starting on one of those weight loss drugs, but I'm a little hesitant. Hoping I can just get the motivation for another round of keto instead.
But I will need to be in a better mental state than I am right now.
Then again, maybe I will kill myself and all this wont matter.
Idk, guess I'm just venting

 

[skybox]

There are people who report still having issues with losing weight, even after doing things like getting gastric bypass surgery, which significantly reduces the amount of food you are able to eat. Weight loss is complex and the fact that you are only starting to lose weight thanks, in part, to you getting injections kind of contradicts your claims about people needing to just eat less if they want to lose weight. Along with that, your experiences with being fat are not generalizable. There are many who are fat but who don't eat large amounts of food. It's important to note that food quality has gone down and this does have an impact on weight loss, especially for poorer individuals who can't afford to buy better quality foods. Along with that, some people have health conditions or might be taking medications that make weight loss harder.

Not sure what your problem is, but I've lost 80+ pounds on my own between the years 2019-2021 without injection. I also mention I have BED which is turn I have food addiction. I've been taking mental health meds for 10 years and have a list of health issues. Weight loss still comes down to calories in calories out. I didn't say having food addiction is easy, having health issues is easy, I said being fat is easy.
I saw in your other post you bring up a video on the topic of racism in fatphobia, and as a walking example, a black American woman, I think pulling the race card for fatness is a cheap shot.

 

[lonergirl_26]

People are just mean and judgmental.

 

[forgivemegod]

Well I was an olympic weightlifting athlete before I developed a condition in which I can't make much physical effort, then I got fat. So I can rely to what you are saying.

 

[SchizoGymnast]

I'm 35 and I've been fat for most of my adult life. I have long since stopped caring what other people think about it. I no longer feel the need to give total strangers reasons as to why I'm fat. I'm not committing a crime.

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

Because it helps them forget their own insecurities.

 

[Blanc]

One thing is sure : fatness itself or talking about fatness is a fantastic social filter.
You know exactly who is worthy of your time and mostly who isn't.
One is unable to see beyond the façade and to go out of one mental jails, one goes to the trash.
Particularly on a forum where everyone is struggling so much with pain on a daily basis and don't need brain-and-heart-dead people to add more.
That easy, that quick. Next.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Did you read my OP? :)

Ofc

Also I'm certainly not happy and think that ship has sailed long time ago for my life.

Like I said, that's on you to do for yourself, regardless of what any ignorant doofus might utter.

For many reasons. Being fat is just another annoyance to deal with.

If it is for you, you should certainly do something about it. It certainly isn't for everyone, though. There are plenty of happy, content fat people

 

[bankai]

Well I was an olympic weightlifting athlete before I developed a condition in which I can't make much physical effort, then I got fat. So I can rely to what you are saying.

Oh damn I hate stuff like this. As a person who loves lifting weights myself. I hate it when life takes away things people love

For me, I usually put on a ton of weight at the end of the year during New Year and Christmas where I'm gorging on whole cakes and stuff, and then spend several months after that losing the weight.

 

[Thunderstorm]

Like I said, that's on you to do for yourself

Oh I would love to be happy. What should I do?

 

[cinna_rey<3]

Stigma, stigma, and stigma. "You're lazy", "you're undisciplined", "you're unhygienic", etc. Society has built the negative narrative that it's inherently wrong to be overweight. Especially now with the ozempic crave, skinny culture is "in".

But beauty standards (or standards altogether) are ever changing. Aphrodite herself is an example of this, as old paintings depict her with a tummy. We seem to have forgotten that this is natural, and not all bodies will look the same. You can eat clean and exercise, yet still not appear like the models we find online. It seems more and more like a lie.

At the end of the day, it should never be about opinions or cosmetics. It is nobody's right to speculate on your body, real constructive feedback is reserved for private professionals. You're beautiful, their words don't define you.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Oh I would love to be happy. What should I do?

Why ask me, I'm not a counselor, nor do I have access to your mind (and what makes you happy). I got my own problems to deal with. That's a question you need to answer for yourself. Perhaps seeing a therapist might help you get to those answers.

 

[Thunderstorm]

Why ask me, I'm not a counselor, nor do I have access to your mind (and what makes you happy). I got my own problems to deal with. That's a question you need to answer for yourself. Perhaps seeing a therapist might help you get to those answers.

Well, you reply to my post about being unhappy. And how I think it's too late with "that's up to you to make yourself happy"
So yeah I was being a bit of a smartass to your reply
Because I know you meant well. But without any suggestions on how, it's not a very helpful comment

 

[wham311]

Well, you reply to my post about being unhappy. And how I think it's too late with "that's up to you to make yourself happy"
So yeah I was being a bit of a smartass to your reply
Because I know you meant well. But without any suggestions on how, it's not a very helpful comment

The answers are easy but getting there is like next to impossible.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Anyone who is fat will probably know what its like going outside and hearing some comments behind your back in the supermarket or whatever.
Ive been skinny. Then fat .. Then losing lots of weight, then fat again.
People seem to think its okay, because to them its such a simple issue. Its all the persons own fault. They are lazy. End of story. They know everything they need to know. (They think)
They don't want to consider anything else, like the fact that some people just gains more weight than others.
They don't want to consider that many people gains weight because of poor mental health state or medicine.
The whole thing is reduced to "You're lazy"
The irony here is that I remember once making a comment in my teens "I don't understand how people can get so fat"
Well I found out. I got to the point where I just didn't care anymore. I hated my life and myself, but at least I got some pleasure in life from eating.
I later would start keto diet, and lost tons of weight. I've gained some back, but still no where near as big as I got at my worst. I'm probably around 120-130 kg right now. Worst I got to was like 185 kg.
I've considered starting on one of those weight loss drugs, but I'm a little hesitant. Hoping I can just get the motivation for another round of keto instead.
But I will need to be in a better mental state than I am right now.
Then again, maybe I will kill myself and all this wont matter.
Idk, guess I'm just venting

When I was 14 I ended up gaining a little weight and my mom felt the need to regularly comment on it and talk to other family members about how fat I was. When in all actuality I was just a little chubby and not even overweight.. I had slightly disordered eating before that but that was the tip of the iceberg. I started restricting all the time, and still do to this day. And after I lost my childish chubby face which was perfectly normal I ended up always being asked "why are you so skinny", "you should eat more". Ugh.. People that body shame don't even realise how unnecessarily cruel they can be.

 

[SchizoGymnast]

Well, you reply to my post about being unhappy. And how I think it's too late with "that's up to you to make yourself happy"
So yeah I was being a bit of a smartass to your reply
Because I know you meant well. But without any suggestions on how, it's not a very helpful comment

I can't promise miraculous answers but I still think I may be able to help. Interested?

 

[Thunderstorm]

I can't promise miraculous answers but I still think I may be able to help. Interested?

Sure?

 

[SchizoGymnast]

Sure?

You sound so confident lol. Ok I guess the starting point is, are you primarily concerned with being happy with your weight, or your life in general at this point in time?

 

[Thunderstorm]

You sound so confident lol. Ok I guess the starting point is, are you primarily concerned with being happy with your weight, or your life in general at this point in time?

Hehe sry
Life

 

[SchizoGymnast]

Hehe sry
Life

I'm at work at the moment so I will give a more detailed response later. For now, I will suggest that you listen to ambient space sounds on YouTube. I meditate to it and it's a great starting point for me when nothing makes sense and I need to shut off.

 

[amerie]

They're an easy target. I'm an overweight person who's had issues with food my whole life and my weight fluctuates like crazy (I've been 6 different sizes in the span of 5 years.)

I mean you can't really take out your misery on bigotry on other marginalized people like the disabled or POC (at least openly, I know people will still be racist regardless but it's not as easy and you have to be more hidden about it) because it's technically not their fault(?) if that makes sense, but with fat people, most don't feel as guilty because they "chose" that lifestyle so people kind of let out their anger and personal stress on them with shows like 600lb life, secret eaters, etc.

This varies by culture however, in some African countries and some parts of the southern US (Mississippi and Louisiana) being overweight is seen as attractive because it's a sign of wealth and fertility (ex; think of the BBL trend.)

 

[Groundhog_Day]

I think a lot of the judgement comes from a misunderstanding that it is about willpower. There is a really good book called The Hunger Habit by Judson Brewer which explains that it's not really about willpower at all. It's about paying close attention to what you eat, and most importantly the results of it - weight, energy levels, digestion, and effects on skin & joints etc. By clearly seeing the results, our subconscious will start to update and over time begin to prefer the foods that give us the better results.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

I say this as someone that had a morbidly obese father that embodied greed, gluttony, sloth and avarice. His physiognomy was a perfect outward reflection on his core disposition toward life to the point that he looked like a robber baron depicted in early 19th century political cartoons. (see below).



My dad couldn't throw a baseball with me, ride a bike around the block or go camping. I didn't have friends over and cringed to be seen with him in public. He was not able to sustain anything close to normal employment. This was fine for him as he abhorred work. Such people can be incredibly controlling of those in their orbit to get what they want. The tv show "My 600b Life" shows the dark side of how some obese people can be. I never made fun of him though. The entire situation brought crushing sadness to me.

Overweight is seen as symptomatic of modern excesses and thus a most unnatural state. A person could not live that way and hunt, fight or do laborious tasks to survive close to the land. They trigger a visceral aversion in a healthy person due to their asymmetrical value creation vs resource consumption profile.

I often look at such people and wonder why didn't they look in the mirror and say "enough!" and begin to reverse the process?

There are people that have a certain frame that tends toward the larger. There are some big people that I would even consider fit for their body type like the barrel chested lumber jack type or a thick but active woman.

Sugar and simple carbs are incompatible with some people. There's an element of this going on with very large children or their giant parents at Walmart.

I personally don't shame people for their body to their face nor behind their back or the most part. Even talking about my father here I feel a twinge of guilt about but that's more of a personal example.

 

[Thunderstorm]

I'm at work at the moment so I will give a more detailed response later. For now, I will suggest that you listen to ambient space sounds on YouTube. I meditate to it and it's a great starting point for me when nothing makes sense and I need to shut off.

Maybe you should dm me instead

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Well, you reply to my post about being unhappy. And how I think it's too late with "that's up to you to make yourself happy"
So yeah I was being a bit of a smartass to your reply
Because I know you meant well. But without any suggestions on how, it's not a very helpful comment

I provided a suggestion - see a therapist and try to get to a better head space about who you are and your value in the world. Best advice I have.

 

[felloffmydinosaur]

I started gaining weight after being anorexic skinny after I had stomach surgery right before puberty then had PCOS. I have lost over a hundred pounds. I still feel just as embarrassed in public I feel like. I think I'm like 175 or so. My niece called me a fucking fat bitch a couple weeks ago. She's 15. That was nice.

 

[Thunderstorm]

I provided a suggestion - see a therapist and try to get to a better head space about who you are and your value in the world. Best advice I have.

Thanks. But over a decade spent trying to get better in the system.
They eventually seemed to give up on me

 

[Cinnamorolls]

People assume things about your personality based on how you look. I'm thin these days, so people assume that I'm active/enjoy exercise, eat a balanced diet, am very health conscious etc. All of which is incorrect. They assume the opposite for overweight people. Shouldn't judge a book by its cover and all that.

I've tried to change my body a thousand times, but I can't. Simply because I'm highly addicted to food, and there's no cure for that addiction. But of course nobody cares about that. I wish you could be in my shoes for one day.

Wegovy is the cure. I highly suggest giving it a try. I have binge eating disorder, which is impossible to combat simply through willpower or therapy. It takes meds to deal with that kind of disorder. Went from BMI 32 down to 20 in a little over a year.