Discussion Why do people have children?

[bl33ding_heart]

So young.Where are you from?

I'm from the uk.

 

[lawlietsph]

in my country some people do it for the money (the more kids they have, the more credit they get from the government for building or buying a house). these are the same parents who i see yelling at the children in the store like maniacs

but other than this, mostly just reckless sex, natural instincts, selfishness, simply being dumb

i find it awful to be honest. i don't want to judge them, but i still do.
the worst thing that has happened to me was being born and i think a HUGE part of the population feels the same way. nobody wants to fucking live anymore

 

[Droso]

I would love to see SaSu members who actually are parents answer this question. All of the responses here are good and accurate for the most part, but I feel personal reasoning allows for better understanding. However, there is such a strong anti-natalist presence on this forum that most parents don't speak up on these threads.

 

[NonEssential]

If I remember correctly, my brother and his girlfriend had a child because they thought she couldn't get pregnant due to an accident she had when she was younger. I guess everyone has their own reasons.

 

[chrysalisuponme]

a sense of fulfillment and purpose

 

[psp3000]

"Who will take care of me when I am old?"

is the most common one I've heard

besides people just having a kid because it's some expected milestone or achievement to meet and then they forget that 30 seconds to 1 hour of "bliss" could lead to 18 years of commitment

 

[NonEssential]

"Who will take care of me when I am old?"

Sorry parents, I can barely take care of myself lol.

 

[neurotoxic]

I dont think its always selfish. sometimes misguided, not always selfish. some people think they can bring a child into the world and bring it all the happiness and security it needs to grow, and then shit just gets all fucked up and so does the kids brain.
im pretty sure my mom just had me to have someone to make sure she didnt die when the drugs took their toll in her old age, and she was left a babbling, senile, bitter poor lady sooner than anyone should. I make sure shes taken care of, but how can I take care of someone who never took care of me? hardly ever let me be in her house. she just needed at least one son to have his shit together just enough to care for her.

 

[DoublingDown]

I would love to see SaSu members who actually are parents answer this question. All of the responses here are good and accurate for the most part, but I feel personal reasoning allows for better understanding. However, there is such a strong anti-natalist presence on this forum that most parents don't speak up on these threads.

Yeah, I literally found this thread TRYING to find other people who actually have kids.

I'm a parent of three kids from two men, one of the men being my fiancé of 4 years. I can understand antinatalism to an extent, everyone is entitled to their own opinion especially when it seems to be largely based on the cruelty they suffered themselves or the cruelty they have observed in others. It seems to come from at the very least a small place of compassion. The same wish that some parents have that they can protect their kids from everything, save their kids from suffering or the suffering they endured, seems to be the same wish that some antinatalist have to save children from suffering altogether.

My first child was conceived selfishly. I craved a devoted love that I thought a child would give me. I quickly realized how wrong that is to place on a child, and made it my life's goal to never place that burden on them. My most recent pregnancy was planned, although it being twins wasn't, with the belief I was truly in recovery for my mental health. We both had great paying jobs, a solid support system, and a great relationship. We wanted to create something with our love, we wanted to raise a child in love, to grow the love within our family and by extension the world. I know a lot of antinatalist's say the entire world is cruel and evil but that's not true. There is goodness, I want to be a creator and amplifier of that goodness through my own actions and bring children up in that goodness.

 

[UglyLife82]

Usually selfishness

 

[womanactually]

Why do people always have children? I know the reasons are selfish but I wanted to get other people's opinions.

patriarchy, social pressure, there are people who want "a part of them" to live on after they pass away. There is also sunk cost fallacy involved I think, People work their lives off to collect some wealth/things and they don't want them to lose them so similar to above statement they want someone from their lineage to have it.

 

[itsgone2]

For me, it just seemed like that's what you do. You get married, try to get stability, start having kids. It's not possible to describe the love you have for them. But this desire to escape all this doesn't care about that. It's truly awful. And even though yes I know how bad it would hurt them, I still want to go. People get labeled as selfish a lot in these cases. Not fair imo.

 

[friendo25]

Why do people always have children? I know the reasons are selfish but I wanted to get other people's opinions.

I was happy and it seemed like a natural progression in life + not having a kid was a dealbreaker with my wife.

 

[LighthouseHermit]

I always wanted children when I was a child and in my early teen years. Even had names already picked out. When I got in my late teens, I figured out how cruel life is for people that are different. Being on the spectrum, I couldn't chance that my kids would inherit my autism and mental problems. I made a choice pretty early on that I should remain single forever. With all my problems, I just can't do that to someone I love. It is my burden, not theirs. It's better that way. Thankfully, I am a hermit, so I rarely meet women.

 

[divinemistress36]

Biologically our only purpose is to survive and procreate. I never felt the desire I always knew life was cruel and never wanted to subject a child to all the pain in the world. I like dogs better