NSFW Why do many men value female virgins higher than non-virgin females?

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

Actually it's probably an STD avoidance instinct

Syphilis can be acquired outside of sex as well, such as when sharing a cup, meaning that people that never had sex can get Syphilis, and then spread it in their first sex! Ain't that wacky?

 

[psp3000]

meaning that people that never had sex can get Syphilis, and then spread it in their first sex! Ain't that wacky?

something similar to this but with herpes happened in the 2012 film Excision

the MCs father had to give her CPR as a kid but he had a open coldsore
and she had no idea and was never told she had the virus or carried it as a teenager and she was asymptomatic and she didn't find out until she gave someone else it after her first ever encounter/losing her virginity (also this person was exposed to her blood which heightened the risk) and then her parents finally told her the story about the father giving her CPR as a kid and his coldsore

also besides many other reasons (mostly drug related from what I can remember) this is why it is recommended that if you're trained to give CPR you should invest in a CPR mask to take with you to use in the event where you need to perform CPR on anyone regardless if they have an STD or not (it's kind of like using gloves now that I think about it and taking precautionary measures and having good hygiene in careers where people handle blood "Treat all blood as if it is infected blood")

or catching something like Mononucleosis also known as The Kissing Disease which I have mostly only encountered/avoided at schools (which is why even before COVID I stopped using water fountains)

 

[notreallybored]

ב''ה, syphilis sure is a nasty one. Herpes, HPV, chlamydia.. there's stuff commonly associated with STD that you can pick up other ways or in other forms, yeah. Not sure what the mother to child transmission rate is for some of those, biology is wacky.

I left out the other evolutionary explanation, the younger mother perhaps has more childbearing years, and what this probably actually means is that genes that produced guys having a tilt towards the young and nubile thing gradually became widely represented in the population, if genes control that. The folks with a thing for the postmenopausal just didn't successfully reproduce theirs as often.

I do gotta say though, in practical terms.. I'm not much for people generally, but if you've ever been in various 'free love' situations, persons (of any gender really) who are just kind of, ahem, open to anything.. are also generally not making the best decisions about the risks of pregnancy or disease, so in the practical world, that can be annoying simply because, not having your back on making decisions that will make your next morning not miserable.

So if we're doing the whole evobio thing, somehow humans often have the thing about cringing at the don't know who daddy is crowd, and *probably* that's observable in monkey troops as well, when you don't know that drafts everyone into gambling on it, and is that *really that bad,* it's part of why we have public schools etc., but people get bent often about that in a lot of cultures.

Perhaps that weirdly has some advantages biologically or it wouldn't have been "successful"?

 

[25dRvS9Ka]

Personally, I have the idea of sharing experiences as something unique and intimate. I want to surprise and explore my desires with those who also long to share their first experiences, their first trip abroad, their first home, their first camping trip... I like to feel like I'm someone important in the life of the person I love.

My wife had only one failed attempt at sexual intercourse and I still feel my heart is broken because of it. I'm a strictly monogamous and attached person. Even though I was able to give her pleasure in ways she'll never forget, I'll still be the second person, forever, while she was my first.

Today I'm not a man, but I make my part count. All affection and love are given in a completely fair exchange, the requirements are delivered on my part.

The feeling I convey is this fragility and inexperience, it directly hits my ego. That's why no man expresses himself in this way.

 

[Skallagrim]

Actually it's probably an STD avoidance instinct

Just never trust anyone who can spell gonorrhea right on the first try.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

Personally, I have the idea of sharing experiences as something unique and intimate. I want to surprise and explore my desires with those who also long to share their first experiences, their first trip abroad, their first home, their first camping trip... I like to feel like I'm someone important in the life of the person I love.

My wife had only one failed attempt at sexual intercourse and I still feel my heart is broken because of it. I'm a strictly monogamous and attached person. Even though I was able to give her pleasure in ways she'll never forget, I'll still be the second person, forever, while she was my first.

Today I'm not a man, but I make my part count. All affection and love are given in a completely fair exchange, the requirements are delivered on my part.

The feeling I convey is this fragility and inexperience, it directly hits my ego. That's why no man expresses himself in this way.

So basically, the fact she had a life before you made you insecure? Look, I understand wanting to share experiences and have special moments, but you have to face the fact that everyone had a life before you came into theirs, and you also had one before anyone came into yours. If that fact makes your heart break, you're searching for the impossible, and I say that because I have too, for a long time, chasing a golden goose, before coming to the hurtful reality that it won't happen.

Special moments don't have to adhere to such strict guidelines. You can be special to someone else while being only part of their lives. You don't have to dedicate 99% of your energy towards someone for them to feel cared and loved. Hell, as much as I want, I can't be mama bear 24/7, that would drain me!

I believe your intentions are true and valid, but again, it is an idealization that will not hold up to real people. Sometimes, you need to have more patience and less intensity, to make things easier not only for the other party, but also for you. Maybe someone in the past has demanded that kind of intensity from you, and that stuck on you, but I'm extrapolating facts at that point.

You seem to be a compassionate and intense person who is going to give your all towards someone else if they return the favor, and that's bound to fail, even if you find someone else to give their 100%. Someone will burn out at some point, and there will be disappointment. I'm sure a lot of people already think you're special in their hearts, but not at the rate you want to.

In short, You don't need to starve yourself waiting for the "main course", just to make it even more special, get some snacks, a drink, maybe a break to go outside and breathe some fresh air, as others do. Make the wait pleasurable, and you'll see the main course ain't gonna taste less good because of it.

 

[25dRvS9Ka]

I believe your intentions are true and valid, but again, it is an idealization that will not hold up to real people. Sometimes, you need to have more patience and less intensity, to make things easier not only for the other party, but also for you.

My story is too intimate to share in its entirety. The part I haven't shared is that I had a fling with her where we had a very intimate connection and in one conversation she said she was a virgin and would like her first time to be with me.

She was extremely insecure because I was fourteen while she was nineteen, so she ended our chance. A little over a year without speaking to was when I tried to contact her and found out about this.

From a simple point of view, things can be realigned, but my "idealization", so to speak, was actually a real proposal. Today we have been married for eleven years, my expectations are not at their peak.

The question in the post was definitely answered with truthful convictions, even though I subjected myself to living with this irreversible condition. If this concept has been around for more than ten years, it will by no means be a "treatable" condition, it's what I expected and life was unfair to me.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

I'm sorry if I came out as saying that it was an easy problem to solve, or even solvable. It is simple, but simple doesn't mean easy or even doable sometimes. From what I read, I think the best course of action is transparency: To know why she promised her first time with you but tried with someone else before it. Was it impatience? Curiosity? Plain forgetfulness? It may become easier to understand and to accept after we understand the circumstances the promise was broken. Humans make mistakes, that is the only certainty I have, and that's why I don't treat others too harshly.

 

[25dRvS9Ka]

I'm sorry if I came out as saying that it was an easy problem to solve, or even solvable. It is simple, but simple doesn't mean easy or even doable sometimes. From what I read, I think the best course of action is transparency: To know why she promised her first time with you but tried with someone else before it. Was it impatience? Curiosity? Plain forgetfulness? It may become easier to understand and to accept after we understand the circumstances the promise was broken. Humans make mistakes, that is the only certainty I have, and that's why I don't treat others too harshly.

It's okay, the problem with men is that they outsource and project their feelings onto other things, that's all.

We all (men, women) want to be special at some point in our lives. I think it's better to leave this subject aside, it triggers my emotional, my body hurts when I cry.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

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I thought it was a Majin mark! (btw Majin means Demon People, which some cats can definitely be!)

 

[amerie]

Ego, they know that because you've had more experience then they need to work harder to impress you. It's easier to be lazy with virgins and give them the bottom of the barrel bc they don't know how great a relationship and sex can really get.

As an 18 year old virgin I get turned off by people who are wrapped about virginity or staying pure, we're grown bruh.

I mean maybe I get personal preference, religious reasons, or fear of STD's but the guys doing it probably have multiple bodies themselves.