Why are you suicidal?

[XxEstenxX]

This might sound pretty stupid but these are the reasons I'm suicidal:

1. I don't want to go to college or get a job, both seem so miserable, I've never went to college, but still, I don't want to do assignments and any time I've had a job I've hated it.

2. I hate being unemployed as much as I do being employed. I hate feeling like a leech and I hate not having my own money.

3. I don't live alone and I have no privacy. It's degrading and I'm afraid I'll have to live with someone for my entire life due to my laziness and lack of motivation.

I relate a lot to your reasons Gorge, but another reason for me is because it doesnt seem like my life will ever get better, so I ask: What's the point in wanting to live it? Its been 20 years of my life now and I have no achievements, little milestones, and no hope. I'll always be a mentally unstable, unloveable loser.

 

[emotion]

1. I find the world an incredibly terrifying place. Mostly because of people. I've been bullied, groomed, mildly assaulted...
2a. I have autism and it makes me feel like I'll always be on the other side of a thick glass pane. Unconnected.
2b. I will never be able to make friends. My brain just isn't wired for that, as much as I'd like it.
3. I feel like I've experienced most things in life to a satisfying extent. Love, loss, travel, education, work, food etc.
4. I'm mentally exhausted and don't think it will ever change now that I'm well into my adult years.

I'm still hopeful, but with every year and every breakdown that hope gets smaller and smaller.

 

[farewell_lover]

I have never been good enough. Worse than that is I cannot accept the fact and it matters to me.
I cannot even find a job. Long-term unemployment has killed all my excitement.
I rarely seem to find deep connection. And when I do, it fades away before I can truly enjoy it...
To fill that void inside, I listen to music. I read. I watch movies. I still feel empty inside.
I am tired of desperately trying to gain approval of other people. Why can't I just be me no matter how much it sucks?

 

[InTheAbyss]

Autism, Chronic pain, Eating issues, mobility issues, Health issues, Loneliness, some others.

 

[gattifw]

Simply put I have no future in this life, so it's better off if I end it now than let it rot overtime

 

[soributton]

There is no future for me. Well, a good one I mean. All my past irresponsible decisions have led to a life of suffering no one can fix. I want to experience the warm arms of death rather than continue living in this hellhole where not a single person truly cares for me.

 

[acerace]

no reason honestly. Its just a feeling in my chest.
there are times when there is a reason but its just kinda the norm

 

[fatpigiee]

I genuinely feel like I'm going to lose my mind in the future if i lived long
I feel like someone with a terminal illness, but mentally and the end will be me going insane
I'm getting worse and worse my thoughts and beliefs keep changing and I can't control them its so scary
This is not who i was this is not me
I can't control my mind or my body
I fear the moment I completely lose my mind and forget who I was, turning into a disgusting and violent creature, i became everything I used to hate. I need to die before getting to the point that *me* will be completely gone
I'm afraid that if I'm no longer suicidal, it means my mind has completely taken over me.
I need to die I'm scared and disgusted by myself
If i didn't i think i genuinely might kill someone else
I used to be kind

There are many other reasons that make me want/need to die too, but I think this is the main one iam already awful i don't know why iam waiting

 

[turbulent.mind]

i feel like it's wrong for me to be depressed. i think a lot of people would kill to get what i have. I have a technically functional family, parents who provide for me and don't complain about it, the only thing missing is emotional connection as i have never once in my life talked about anything to them. but all things considered everything is well.
I also dropped out of school since i never intended to go in the first place. it's not bad because i managed to shift my hobby to a professional carrer and this is something i've already planned since i was in middle school. I earn really good money in a week than most people in my country could only dream of in a year, just sitting in front my computer drawing stupid cartoon.
my friends and coworkers really cares about me yet i want to throw it all away just to not exist.
this feeling of wanting to die itself makes me wanna kill myself. it makes me feel like an invalid person, a disfunctional human being. so i don't know if i can fix it because the problem is not external. maybe i have a disorder but i never checked since ultimately it won't matter once i'm gone. i didn't even realize i was suicidal even after i tried hanging with my belt.
i tried to do better but eventually i will always fall back down to this bottomless hole, over and over again and the only thing that pushed me down is myself. I really wanna put an end to this but i know i need to be very emotional to pull it off. so i'm just gonna keep bottling it up until it explodes and i can man up and take the "easy" way out.