I always think about suicide every day I even found some methods that I can easily do but something just makes me scared to do this. Maybe it's just me being afraid of the afterlife because my religion doesn't sugarcoat that kind of stuff, I will go to hell. But sometimes I just don't care about that and yet I can't seem to kill myself. I've had such a shit life and even did unforgivable things that talking about will just make me feel worse already. Why cant I just simply disappear forever? Im not even a good person or someone worthy of friends.
Sorry for not setting the kommas and dots right English is my third language.
Hi, I read your post and just wanted to say something.
You don't have to apologize for how you write—your message came through so clearly, and honestly, it really moved me. The fact that you're carrying this weight every day and still trying to make sense of it shows strength, even if it doesn't feel like it.
I know that feeling of wanting to disappear. When pain goes on too long, it can feel like the world has no place for you. But the fact that you're still here, still questioning, still hoping there's something more than fear and shame—that means something. You're not worthless. You're not beyond hope.
You said you've done things you think are unforgivable. I don't know what those things are, but I do know that people who are truly cruel usually don't feel the kind of guilt and self-awareness you've expressed. The fact that you care this much—that you're struggling to live with the weight of your past—tells me you're not the bad person you think you are.
There's still time for things to shift, even if just a little. You're not alone here. I see you. I believe you matter. If you ever want to talk more, I'll listen.
