I am scared..

[Deathiswelcomed]

I dont know what to do besides try my best to end my life.. my sister comes back in a few days and she has a history of beating and almost and one time actually cutting my hand once not bad but I have a small scar from it on my hand and my cousin got in the way once and got a deep cut that needed stitches... but my cousin I told my other sister about him and now he knows I told someone and im scared of being alone with him.. hes threatened and beaten me before.. im writing a note not as a goodbye or an apology but to tell everyone who claimed would help and didn't that they didn't even deserve this note.. I genuinely feel dread, anxiety, and sadness every waking moment of my life. My sister told my grandma and she did nothing. I tell the people who are supposed to help and they do nothing.. they support my cousin so much he thinks hes entitled to anything and everything he doesnt think he does wrong.. I just want to die. I have 3 bottles of 3 different pills and a couple blades incase any get dull I dont get checked on often if ever so if I do this when I get home from summer school.. then I wont be bothered for hours if not the whole day I just dont want to fail this time.. I cant take the constant sadness. If theres any other methods or feedback I'll read it.. I may not respond though due to my horrible social skills irl and online... I am scared of failing to kill myself and of living..

 

[Ben 111]

Ur not alone

 

[bluupup]

I dont know what to do besides try my best to end my life.. my sister comes back in a few days and she has a history of beating and almost and one time actually cutting my hand once not bad but I have a small scar from it on my hand and my cousin got in the way once and got a deep cut that needed stitches... but my cousin I told my other sister about him and now he knows I told someone and im scared of being alone with him.. hes threatened and beaten me before.. im writing a note not as a goodbye or an apology but to tell everyone who claimed would help and didn't that they didn't even deserve this note.. I genuinely feel dread, anxiety, and sadness every waking moment of my life. My sister told my grandma and she did nothing. I tell the people who are supposed to help and they do nothing.. they support my cousin so much he thinks hes entitled to anything and everything he doesnt think he does wrong.. I just want to die. I have 3 bottles of 3 different pills and a couple blades incase any get dull I dont get checked on often if ever so if I do this when I get home from summer school.. then I wont be bothered for hours if not the whole day I just dont want to fail this time.. I cant take the constant sadness. If theres any other methods or feedback I'll read it.. I may not respond though due to my horrible social skills irl and online... I am scared of failing to kill myself and of living..

it depends on how much of what you take. also, slitting your wrists almost never works. same with the neck. research your anatomy and pills. I have a bias where I prefer hanging, so I'd suggest that. make sure the rope can hold you and that whatever you hang from is strong. very strong. like a sturdy branch or something. no pipes, ceiling fans, or anything like that. they never work irl. in shows they do, because nobody wants to take the effort to get stuff right. also, you're not alone at all. I understand what you're going through, I've known a lot of entitled people who are just encouraged and supported by their parents no matter what, even abuse. SaSu is here for you.

 

[bagel12]

I dont know what to do besides try my best to end my life.. my sister comes back in a few days and she has a history of beating and almost and one time actually cutting my hand once not bad but I have a small scar from it on my hand and my cousin got in the way once and got a deep cut that needed stitches... but my cousin I told my other sister about him and now he knows I told someone and im scared of being alone with him.. hes threatened and beaten me before.. im writing a note not as a goodbye or an apology but to tell everyone who claimed would help and didn't that they didn't even deserve this note.. I genuinely feel dread, anxiety, and sadness every waking moment of my life. My sister told my grandma and she did nothing. I tell the people who are supposed to help and they do nothing.. they support my cousin so much he thinks hes entitled to anything and everything he doesnt think he does wrong.. I just want to die. I have 3 bottles of 3 different pills and a couple blades incase any get dull I dont get checked on often if ever so if I do this when I get home from summer school.. then I wont be bothered for hours if not the whole day I just dont want to fail this time.. I cant take the constant sadness. If theres any other methods or feedback I'll read it.. I may not respond though due to my horrible social skills irl and online... I am scared of failing to kill myself and of living..

i'm sorry that your sister and your cousin are harming you in this way, and that your grandma is supporting your cousin instead of helping you you don't deserve to be harmed this way, and you deserve people in your life who believe you and support you.

since you have tried telling your family members and they won't do anything, is there someone else you can tell? like a teacher or another adult outside of your family?