When is the last time you were happy?

[Fadeawaaaay]

I remember playing music with a close friend, Candlelight… Harmonizing… Buzzed from drinking wine… and feeling so lucky to be alive… That somehow I had cheated the universe and won the lottery… I didn't wanna be any other place but right there in that moment … Only a couple years ago…

 

[nys]

About a month ago before summer break started. It was nice being able to not be at home w my family + school gave me an opportunity to talk to ppl other than my parents. Now I've graudated and i'm never gonna see a lot of those ppl ever again. And since it's summer break I stay at home w my parents & have to deal w their constant abusive behavior & my parents are the only ppl I talk to in the summer bc I have no friends I can talk to outside of school

 

[befree]

In the 1990th.

 

[FuneralCry]

Never. I think that in a life like this, the idea of happiness is just a delusion. Life is objectively so horrifying and pointless. I have never wanted to live at all and all that I have ever wanted is to die. There is no peace or relief from misery in this life and I see consciousness as being a form of torture. For me, the suffering will only end when I die. If I am gone, then nothing can hurt me.

 

[odradek]

It's painful for me to think about it tbh. The last time I was happy was right before I torpedoed my life which lead me to right here. To think on that brief period of happiness forces me to reckon with how far I've fallen, to revel in the mistakes I've made. I don't know how to be that person from a few years back anymore. I don't know how to be anymore.

 

[Hurt]

2014

 

[outrider567]

I was happy all the time, until we called the paramedics, now its just been 6 months of hellish misery

 

[Ash’Girl]

The last day my love breathed. He was fine, then he was gone. No warning, no indication. I was happy right until the point it hit.

I keep wondering how it is that "natural causes" can take so many people who are so full of joy for life, with everything to live for, yet those of us who no longer want to be here are stuck until we can find a way out. Fucked up universe.

 

[Un-]

I don't think I've ever been happy. Or, I probably have been when I was younger.. Like 5 or 6, but I don't remember. I like that though. Like my father, you don't miss what you've never had. It makes suicide easier.

 

[stoiccactus]

The great irony of life is that I feel these moments all the time. With friends, with my son, with my girlfriend, by myself sometimes. But they don't last. They shimmer and fade away into the abyss. If I step back and look at my life and ask "What % of my life was spent in these moments?" it less than 1% of the time. Maybe less. Really not enough to keep me going much longer.

 

[solonelyicoulddie]

Four weeks ago. Later that day my boyfriend had an accident he didn't survive. Since then my life is a complete fuck

 

[tilsleepcomes]

Been a couple of years. The last year has been particularly unhappy for me and CTB is on my mind enough that I started prepping for it. I used to be comfortable and able to sit and enjoy things. Now I can't really relax or enjoy anything.

 

[dtjb]

Last time I was really happy for real was probably in HS (so over 10 years ago). I had a gf, was popular, successful at school, in many clubs, loved the school I went to, and all that.

Looking back, that's when the bipolar mood episodes started to become apparent though. Starting sophomore or junior year, I started missing many days just feeling like I couldn't get out of bed. Grades started to slip some (relative to where they were before) and I started SH.

But I'd still say that was probably the last time I was really happy because I felt like was in charge of my world. Life got too shitty and complex after HS and I'm just not equipped to handle that.

 

[hellispink]

It is difficult for me to say but, I have never felt happy. I have been excluded and mistreated my whole life by other people who were also hurting. My existence has been misery since I started using reason. I have been struggling since I was born. For me, believing happiness is a thing is hard. I know dopamine, seratonine and some hormones can make us feel certain way or smile. But for me happiness would be not having anxiety and living without agony.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Like 12 years ago before we found out my dad was terminally ill. I remember driving to my crappy minimum wage job and thinking ok my life is quite crap but I have 2 great parents, friends at work, my health, no worries...I think it was only a few weeks later we found out my dads cancer was back and had spread. I was so naive thinking he'd beaten it but all the time it was basically slowly spreading. I've never tempted fate being happy since then! Literally didn't know how horrifying life could be.

 

[Brianiskillingme]

2015 until November 10th when the love of my life died. I died with him, I just plug along, not really living.

The last day my love breathed. He was fine, then he was gone. No warning, no indication. I was happy right until the point it hit.

I keep wondering how it is that "natural causes" can take so many people who are so full of joy for life, with everything to live for, yet those of us who no longer want to be here are stuck until we can find a way out. Fucked up universe.

Same here. I lost my love in 2015 from septic shock.

 

[Hope:-)]

5 and a half years ago

 

[rainwillneverstop]

Wow, that's a hard question isn't it? Because at least for myself, it wasn't like a happy to sad in a day, I suppose it was more of a faded process into depression.
But I really cannot pinpoint when I last felt geniune happiness, other than the illusion dreams can give you.

I only know what I miss, and that is probably spending time with my significant other before it all went to shit. Maybe one of those sleepness nights because you end up staying up till late laughing and telling stories.

 

[milly]

Last time I was really happy for real was probably in HS (so over 10 years ago). I had a gf, was popular, successful at school, in many clubs, loved the school I went to, and all that.

Looking back, that's when the bipolar mood episodes started to become apparent though. Starting sophomore or junior year, I started missing many days just feeling like I couldn't get out of bed. Grades started to slip some (relative to where they were before) and I started SH.

But I'd still say that was probably the last time I was really happy because I felt like was in charge of my world. Life got too shitty and complex after HS and I'm just not equipped to handle that.

touché

 

[Job Joad]

As a kid. Before my parent's divorce.

 

[Unlucked]

Before I became a survival sex worker for a while and I still had a semblance of human dignity in my life and hope for the future, and wasn't reduced to such indignity as a human.

So hmm, when I was 19 I guess. I met some guy and we talked everyday on discord about video games and memes. That was before all the bad stuff happened. I liked him alot. He would tell me to be wholesome which made me happy.

 

[outatime_85]

I was in diapers, with a clean slate, innocent, not yet corrupted, and oblivious to the violence that awaited me.

 

[magikalangelmimi]

the last time i was genuinely happy was around the time i was becoming a preteen/teenager
8 years ago, i hated school tho lmao but i adored the life i had
constantly had friends over, watched anime and played games, cosplayed and went to local conventions
no family around that really cared about me, it was just me and my friends

but now that i'm older they don't really talk to me anymore, i know it's how life goes but damn did it rip me apart
graduation really took a toll on me

 

[milly]

i don't know what happiness is

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I don't remember

 

[ueo]

The last moment I was truly happy was more than a year ago. I somehow thought that things could get better, and that I could get better. But I was so wrong. And now it all just hurts to think about.

 

[Message In A Bottle]

I've always been depressed ever since I became isolated. Around 10 years old was when it slowly started, till by the time I was 17 I had no happiness. Atleast before 17 I was able to draw to escape, now I have no passion anymore.

I have to literally force myself to do it, and that kinda defeats the purpose of drawing for fun.

 

[sadstuffie]

4 years ago. idk there was something special about that summer. i had just started moving for college (which im no longer in lol) & i had got into a relationship that i was happy about at the time. if i could go back, I'd warn myself.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Probably 2006/2007

 

[Achlys]

Perhaps when I was a child? I wasn't exactly happy then, but neither was I severely depressed yet.