When are you the most suicidal ?

[Terrible_Life]

Hey everyone,
at which moment are you the most suicidal?

To me it is when I wake up because then I know that another painful exhausting day awaits me.
Also I feel very suicidal after I have a dispute with my family but I guess that is quiet normal many suicidal people then feel like all their points why they wanna ctb are being proven correct right in front of them.

 

[Chronical_Suicidal]

Same - morning, after waking up. Gave up on waiting to die at sleep --'

 

[OzymandiAsh]

Similar for me, waking up sucks, and any time someone treats me like crap, I suppose.
Also I find that I feel very impatient sometimes, such as waiting at bus stops, I always get the thought "fuck, can I die yet...", so I guess CTB is a good metaphor in my case lol.

 

[Cyc]

Usually during my period, as I become far more tired and depressed and my flashbacks get worse

 

[bambi11025]

idk, all the time. even when I truly feel happy in some situations. the desire is there the whole time

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Same - morning, after waking up. Gave up on waiting to die at sleep --'

Yup, same here. Morning. It's easy to choose sleep instead of death.

 

[Fvck_Society1337]

When i get fired or layed off

 

[Terrible_Life]

I wish so much I'd live alone because I'd love to ctb right after I wake up because during that moment I feel so ready if there was the hanging set up already build I'd put the noose on my neck , if there was a Nembutal pill I'd take it if there was sn perfectly prepared I'd take it…..unfortunately my suicide must be planned carefully which makes things very difficult.

May I ask ya'll who also feel like me with being suicidal after waking up : what stopped you so far from doing it after waking up ? Did anyone here maybe had an attempt after they woke up ?

I read on sasu in an old post that when you wake up you're still tired so the si isn't that strong because it's like the whole system has started but it's kinda like still in the loading process

 

[Cauliflour]

Just a few cups of coffee and I'm out here trying to strangle myself. Only God can help me if I ever grow a liking towards energy drinks...

Some other things that tick it off include not cutting for over a fortnight, not catering to special interests in a fortnight, being made to think about my future and 1:30 am.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

May I ask ya'll who also feel like me with being suicidal after waking up : what stopped you so far from doing it after waking up ? Did anyone here maybe had an attempt after they woke up ?

I had a half assed hanging "attempt" Sunday morning before dawn. Got wounds on my thumbs where I grabbed the rope. I never really committed, just scared myself. I procrastinated in bed listening to YouTube crap for a couple hours (4-6ish) before rushing it. I could have gotten up earlier and stayed out there longer. More time to work up courage. OTOH I feel like you mean business or you don't. You should be able to hang yourself in a minute.

 

[copioushopelessness]

Constantly. Been over a year since I've had a moment without these thoughts.

 

[Trilly]

When I am at work and when I think about the future.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

When I wake up every morning & realize yes, this is really happening, it's all gone wrong, and suicide is my only way out, it's just a question of when.

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

As I am 60 years old and have been thinking about this since I was 20; it occurred to me that the older one gets, the less tolerant one becomes of any negative event. But waking upmeans having to move on. So...

 

[Surai]

After I've indulged in all of the fake pleasures of the unfortunate. Find myself after I have tired myself out chasing a feeling that somehow gives out. At night it tends to really cement itself. Like a face looking back at you. A statue all quiet and still. And I end up not feeling anything.

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

in the morning or sometimes very late at night like midnight or past knowing i have to get up soon. when i am in a big crowd. and when i feel my friends ignored me or are all hanging out without me or cancel on me to hang out with someone else instead.

 

[indianachrome]

morning is the worst

 

[amor.dor]

after waking up

 

[Oreki]

When I think about the future and what potentially awaits me

 

[4colliez]

every night when i'm trying to sleep. during the day i can keep busy and stay distracted. at night im alone with my thoughts and i realise that at the end of the day everything is the same and im still just as miserable as i was the night before

 

[sillycat]

every night when i'm trying to sleep. during the day i can keep busy and stay distracted. at night im alone with my thoughts and i realise that at the end of the day everything is the same and im still just as miserable as i was the night before

fr night is the worse.

 

[LittleSunshine]

The thoughts are there constantly, except when I'm sleeping.

 

[NotSoEnchanted]

When I'm in a lot of physical pain (I have JORA and Crohns) and when I have a negative bank account balance

 

[ScaredCutter]

usually hearing whats going on in the world and, when something bad happens in my relationship

 

[rainatthebusstop]

mornings are horrible. I fucking hate them.

Also whenever it's really sunny outside, paradoxically. People know about winter depression but it's a whole nother beast to have the fuckass sun and 40°C outside and you feeling like a stain on the floor.

After watching the news. Holy shit. To quote really young people "Chat, we're cooked. Chat, there's no way out of this"
I jest but also I really don't. What a horrible prison to share with each other.

 

[Lucid7972]

in the evening when exhausted from work, during which I actually didn't do much lmao, hungry but too tired to cook, shower and brush teeth, nothing I can do to feel relaxed or entertained, and then I ask what I am living for

 

[TwoSoulsLiveInMe]

When I'm alone in bed at night. I was in an incredible relationship for 6 years, and every night I would run my hands through his hair until he fell asleep, then I would.
Now my insomnia is back, and I'm more depressed than I have been in years. The nights are so cold, it physically hurts like a part of me has been carved out.
He isn't my primary reason for being on this site, my lifelong struggle with my mental health takes the front seat. But the loneliness absolutely gets me fixated on ctb in a way nothing else does.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

When waking up too. It's not that I am afraid of another day of living. I guess I am somehow closer to death and dying when I sleep. Why do I not kill my right after waking up? I don't live alone and have to go into the woods to hang myself.

 

[Spite]

I don't think there's a particular time of day when I feel most suicidal. I'll generally feel suicidal at any time and such thoughts will often fluctuate throughout the day. I may feel suicidal for a few hours and then not so much later in the day. I will say though that my suicidal ideation and impulses always spike when I am very stressed or after something bad has just happened to me, like if I'm at work and a group of teenagers drive past me and laugh and yell insults (like what happened last week), then my suicidal thoughts and urges will immediately increase dramatically.

 

[Bad Karma]

when im at work especially if it's slow.