What's your attachment style? How has it affected you?

[LeGuitarist]

Four different attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, anxious avoidant/disorganized. Link to an explanation of what they are: https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/

I believe I have the anxious avoidant attachment style, although I'm definitely more anxious than avoidant. Definitely made life with my boyfriend... interesting, to say the least. Sometimes, all I want to do is to be with him and curl up next to him and hug him and hold on to him. But other times, there's nothing I want more than to push him away, to force him to realize what I bad person I am, to realize that he isn't in love with me but rather the person he thinks I am (read my previous post if you want: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...or-who-they-think-you-are.65839/#post-1222715 ), and to break up with him. It's such a weird combination, sometimes wanting to be with him forever and other times wanting to just push him away. And, admittedly, not the healthiest for either of us.

What are your experiences? What attachment style do you have?

(And, bonus question: What the heck should I do?? Should I break up with him or stay with him?? He's definitely so supportive of me, helped me with my depression so much... but the avoidant side of me just wants to push him away, and I know that I'm hurting him with my attachment style and how unpredictable I am... wouldn't it be healthier for him if I were gone? But then again, he's depressed too, and he's mentioned that without me, he wouldn't be alive. And trust me, knowing him, I know that it isn't his time to go yet. Any advice y'all?)

 

[passenger520]

Staying and fighting to keep a close relationship is worthwhile as it can help to keep the dark thoughts away.

Be careful isolating...I've pushed away anyone and everyone who cared and don't bring new acquaintances close because I know it will make ctb easier - I think this has pretty much guaranteed how I'm going out of this life.