Discussion What is your reason for wanting to die ?

[CosmicError]

Without going too much into details mine is that I am in a completely hopeless situation everyday is a reminder that I could have lived a better life and was meant for greater things but alas now its impossible and now I am stuck in this pathetic boring meaningless existence I have never known anything but suffering and all that life has in store for me now is suffering I will never get what I want and everyday will be a reminder of what could have been and I think death is preferable to this pathetic existence. at least in the end ill go out on my terms instead of rotting away everyday. But I am curious what is your reason.

 

[BlazingBob]

Mine is primarily chronic physical illness but also mental health. No money, no family, no partner, no kids, too sick to work but too poor not to. And now homelessness. The hardest part for me is method and actually following through with it. I don't want to get caught if I fail and be thrown in a cage.

 

[Lucid7972]

lack of meaning, existential suffering

 

[CosmicError]

Mine is primarily chronic physical illness but also mental health. No money, no family, no partner, no kids, too sick to work but too poor not to. And now homelessness. The hardest part for me is method and actually following through with it. I don't want to get caught if I fail and be thrown in a cage.

Damn that's rough I hope you find peace brother.

 

[seagullsonapiano]

For me it's primarily the total lack of respect.

I always respect everyone and treat everyone kindly and i always care for everything around me.

What happens is that really nobody ever really cared about me. Nobody takes me seriously, nobody truly loves me.

Fact is that i'm in a pretty good relationship, i have some friends, yeah sure but i keep getting treated like shit by family, relationship, friends.

Also i truly am way too afraid of the future, i can't handle everything that goes around me , expecially because of how badly i get treated and how it affects all of my goals and dreams.


Sadly there is no other choice

The lack of control over what happens around me and lack of self control is just insane. I can't handle living this way anymore, im so fucking done with this shit and i am TIRED of having NOBODY to talk to when everyone has so many people who care about them and that will listen truly to them.


I'm just so fucking done, i hope 2026 is my last year, i already have a plan of partial hanging in an abandoned urbex place, doing urbex myself im always ready to see a corpse so i'm not too worried about being found.

Getting drunk and partial hanging, this is my dream method.


Please wish me luck because nothing can help me anymore.
Therapy didn't
Cutting didn't
Becoming a musician didn't


I just hope i can do it perfectly around march or april maybe.

 

[butimstillsoblue]

Because I live a life without any love.
Because I don't have any family.
Because my partner and friends left after I was diagnosed with multiple health issues.
Because most days, I pretend I'm okay and go to work at a dead end job.
Because unless I'm on meds, and sometimes when I am, I relive

 

[CosmicError]

For me it's primarily the total lack of respect.

I always respect everyone and treat everyone kindly and i always care for everything around me.

What happens is that really nobody ever really cared about me. Nobody takes me seriously, nobody truly loves me.

Fact is that i'm in a pretty good relationship, i have some friends, yeah sure but i keep getting treated like shit by family, relationship, friends.

Also i truly am way too afraid of the future, i can't handle everything that goes around me , expecially because of how badly i get treated and how it affects all of my goals and dreams.


Sadly there is no other choice

The lack of control over what happens around me and lack of self control is just insane. I can't handle living this way anymore, im so fucking done with this shit and i am TIRED of having NOBODY to talk to when everyone has so many people who care about them and that will listen truly to them.


I'm just so fucking done, i hope 2026 is my last year, i already have a plan of partial hanging in an abandoned urbex place, doing urbex myself im always ready to see a corpse so i'm not too worried about being found.

Getting drunk and partial hanging, this is my dream method.


Please wish me luck because nothing can help me anymore.
Therapy didn't
Cutting didn't
Becoming a musician didn't


I just hope i can do it perfectly around march or april maybe.

i hope you find peace brother i hope we all find peace good luck.

 

[itsgone2]

Truth is that I made too many mistakes. Ruined me and my family. I was a horrible person.
But also something happened to the world. Hard to see a reason to live. Greed i suppose mostly. But something else too.

 

[FuneralCry]

For me never suffering ever again is just all that's positive, in this existence so torturous and terrible ceasing to exist for me would be the positive solution to find peace from the suffering, torture and cruelty of existing where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel and existing truly is only suffering.

I'll just always see existence as the most terrible mistake that just causes all this pain and harm and I'll just always find it so harmful to suffer in this deeply undesirable, cruel and torturous existence, no matter what this existence should just never be imposed and it's just so terrible how humans cause all this cruelty and suffering by doing so, no matter what I'll just always prefer the peace of non-existence over the torture of existing and I find it so horrific how the torture can continue for decades longer with existing beings in agony every second, there just truly is so much evil in existing.

 

[Melancholys]

For me I've tried a lot to keep going, I've pushed through for so many years of my life but the trauma of my past, the mental baggage it puts on me, and so much more has me unable to cope and keep going. I've tried so many times different types of therapy, medication, hospitalization, people use all this flowery language to try to make you feel better but it doesn't help. At this point in my life, when every day is a struggle to live, I don't see any point in fighting just to fight again and again and keep putting myself through misery.

 

[dying-bellaswan]

I don't want to die actually. But I met a really terrible man who treated me very badly, and ruined the career i've dreamed of. Now i'm broke, broken and see no futur or hope for myself.

 

[etherealgoddess]

Without going too much into details mine is that I am in a completely hopeless situation everyday is a reminder that I could have lived a better life and was meant for greater things but alas now its impossible and now I am stuck in this pathetic boring meaningless existence I have never known anything but suffering and all that life has in store for me now is suffering I will never get what I want and everyday will be a reminder of what could have been and I think death is preferable to this pathetic existence. at least in the end ill go out on my terms instead of rotting away everyday. But I am curious what is your reason.

I don't think I feel strongly enough to actually follow through with suicide. I don't think I ever will. But when I feel suicidal, it's because I feel overwhelmed.

I'm genetically cooked. I inherited bipolar. It makes it insanely hard to function long-term. I have other family members with bipolar, and they are completely dysfunctional. They sit at home watching TV all day living on benefits. And it was also very hard for me to function until I got on medication. I can't live a normal life without medication. It makes me so sad that I have to access medications. If I didn't have medications, I'd lose everything.

Medication is currently making a massive impact, but I don't know if it's working as much as it should. I worry that I'll have to take a ton of medication to be functional. What if medication doesn't even work? And sometimes I just wish I wasn't here. It's so overwhelming to deal with. I wish I could just be normal.

I don't want to die actually. But I met a really terrible man who treated me very badly, and ruined the career i've dreamed of. Now i'm broke, broken and see no futur or hope for myself.

Move countries?

 

[genie]

I've been suicidal since I was 13. I went to the wrong school and I feel my life is meaningless now and I have missed out on too much. I don't even want to die, I just have a nihilistic attitude and think life is futile. When things get too bad for me, then I'll CtB.

 

[[redacted]]

I can't see myself working 9-5 for like 30 years.
I am on a dead end job with little chance of getting something better.
My salary is pretty bad (800 dollars a month)
I'm forever alone but it hurts a lot less than it used to

 

[CosmicError]

I've been suicidal since I was 13. I went to the wrong school and I feel my life is meaningless now and I have missed out on too much. I don't even want to die, I just have a nihilistic attitude and think life is futile. When things get too bad for me, then I'll CtB.

huh when i was about twelve after a big fight in my family i stood on the roof top thinking about jumping because i was told that children always go to heaven and i wanted to go to heaven and escape this hell of a existence of course i did not fully grasp any of what i was thinking but now i do now i know there is no heaven just the void and now i know there is no other way except taking the leap funny how even as a child i knew deep down that dying would be my only salvation even if i did not realize it fully then.

I can't see myself working 9-5 for like 30 years.
I am on a dead end job with little chance of getting something better.
My salary is pretty bad (800 dollars a month)
I'm forever alone but it hurts a lot less than it used to

i kind of relate as one of my reasons among other things is also career related

Truth is that I made too many mistakes. Ruined me and my family. I was a horrible person.
But also something happened to the world. Hard to see a reason to live. Greed i suppose mostly. But something else too.

i can relate about the mistakes part although it was not just my mistakes but other people's mistakes as well and when i made my mistakes i was just a child and did not know any better but other people in my family knew better ah well we have to pay for other people's fuck ups that's just life i guess

 

[ericharrisisgod]

Suicidal since 9.
Mental illness, really. a constant yearning for eternal rest.
Hopefully seeing Eric afterwards, getting to talk to him... even just once.
Feeling the warmth of the universe welcoming me back again, into the collective consciousness.
I want infamy, i want to be remembered as a tragic case.
I want people to suffer from my loss. Suffer as i did. for i have known nothing but suffering at the hands of my illnesses. I've been bullied for my looks, my personality.. it's only fair.

 

[CosmicError]

Suicidal since 9.
Mental illness, really. a constant yearning for eternal rest.
Hopefully seeing Eric afterwards, getting to talk to him... even just once.
Feeling the warmth of the universe welcoming me back again, into the collective consciousness.
I want infamy, i want to be remembered as a tragic case.
I want people to suffer from my loss. Suffer as i did. for i have known nothing but suffering at the hands of my illnesses. I've been bullied for my looks, my personality.. it's only fair.

Listen the truth is no one gives a fuck unless they stand to lose something my advice would be to not give a single fuck about other people just do what's best for you and because YOU WANT to do it.

 

[attentionbased]

I really threw away all my potential. My life has only been downhill. I'm failing University because i'm too retarded to understand basic things, and I have no discipline to complete the homework if I did understand. I am also an ugly freak

 

[DisIsDaPhoenyx]

I've never really seen a point in living. Being suicidal from a young age makes getting older and still living a nightmare. I don't have any aspirations. I don't want to go to college! I don't want to get another job. I don't want to keep dealing with my family and friends and keep on having to pretend! I want everything to stop, period.

 

[blvck]

hopeless, miserable, my life will only get worse from here on. i can't be happy

 

[ohsosleepy]

It's pathetic, but it's because I'm hopelessly lazy, plain and simple. I find it difficult to form connections with others, and I don't have any drive nor ambitions. I don't think I have much capability to change, so the path of least resistance is to simply opt out of life.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Severe mental illness

 

[Xiaojiu]

Chronic illnesses with no cures and chronic pain 24/7.

I can't work, I'm homebound, unable to do my passions and hobbies, etc. Crying in bed everyday in pain 24/7 is not a way to live. I feel like I'm surviving/ existing in a torture chamber and prison of a body.

 

[WheelAnimal]

Abusive parents; being homeschooled; not being told to do chores; having no friends; exposure to horrible things online because of unrestricted internet access; not knowing who I am because I've pretended to be like thirty different people online since I was 12, even myself talking in my head (internal monologue I think it's called) isn't my own voice; living in the middle of nowhere with no jobs and barely any public transport nearby; arthritis that could flare up at any moment and stop me from walking for a few months; random fatigue and sensitivity to heat making any job in the summer impossible; lack of motivation to even get out of bed to eat food; and now I know that humanity is so hypocritical, any empathy is just chemicals or energy firing in the neurons in my brain or something, we literally feel empathy for dogs but not as much for smarter animals like corvids. Nothing about us is really... Idk how to describe it, but like nothing feels real? Like free will, I know it's not real, I change day to day, how is that free will? Nothing I do feels like it's the true me, is there even a true me?

Sometimes I feel okay, but it's not true happiness, I'm just pushing away the knowledge of how reality really is, pretending humans really are all that matters, well basically just not thinking, but eventually the thoughts come out and I think so much about how everything is and get depressed again and remember that I'm not gonna get a job, I'm always moody to my parents, I don't care about my pets, I'm just kind of useless. And if I can't happy OR useful, then like why am I even alive? The things I enjoy even don't make me happy, the only thing I do outside of being in bed all day and scrolling through youtube is play sonic games, and sometimes I just get frustrated and bite myself and then that triggers another depressed episode where I feel a strong feeling that I really need to die to end the suffering I and others who know me feel around me.

I unfortunately can't actually die because my parents would be upset, which is because of empathy I guess, Idk if my dad would be hurt that bad, but I feel like my mum might not want to be alive if I was gone and I'd rather not kill a person, even though I kill animals by walking around anyway... Yeah it's hypocritical as I said before, but I guess my brain really wants me to care about my mum.

I know this stuff might seem not even bad an actually not going to school and not being given chores might make me seem spoiled and privalaged but I think that's a reason I don't have any motivation to do anything because my parents already do everything, and yeah I should feel "bad" for this and I do, but it's not enough to motivate me. I wish it was. I can't even start to get up, I'm mentally trapped in my bed. Sometimes I feel like I'm evil.

Sometimes I can't even tell what I feel, my brain doesn't work, I can't tell what the emotions are I think? It's hard to explain, I know I'm upset and restless and stuff but idk what it is exactly. I felt this yesterday and can't even remember it properly.

Sorry for the super long comment but yea that's why i dont wanna be alive I very much dislike experiencing existence.

 

[CosmicError]

I really threw away all my potential. My life has only been downhill. I'm failing University because i'm too retarded to understand basic things, and I have no discipline to complete the homework if I did understand. I am also an ugly freak

"I really threw away all my potential" damn i can somewhat relate to that statement

Chronic illnesses with no cures and chronic pain 24/7.

I can't work, I'm homebound, unable to do my passions and hobbies, etc. Crying in bed everyday in pain 24/7 is not a way to live. I feel like I'm surviving/ existing in a torture chamber and prison of a body.

damn illness is the worst i cant even imagine how awful that would feel your essentially dead but able to feel all the pain and suffering i hope you find your peace .

 

[Moroze]

being used
being lied to
being abused
sexually, emotionally, physically
being taken for granted
mental and physical illness
being abandoned over and over again
being gullible
being unloved

most importantly
as of present

being left alone to rot

 

[NonEssential]

Just a terrible feeling of despair, I can't see myself doing okay in the future from the way I've been living my life. I don't really have anyone else to blame for all this besides myself.