Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[hurts2b]

Tired. A little mediative perhaps. Baseline numb. Okay overall. Trying to stay okay.

 

[prmsenottotellshh]

a mix of rage and melancholy

 

[Minfilia]

i wish this cycle just ended already -- so tired of waking up to more disappointment, playing video games and going to sleep, and it then it continues all over again

 

[tiramisu]

i can't stop crying.

 

[CTB Dream]

this all dtriort all sadn no end ,alll pain sffr

 

[Minfilia]

people in here have been so kind. no one has ever been this nice to me. thank you.

 

[FoolsExpedition]

freaking out. i must be so ridiculously insanely stupid. hit rock bottom taking drugs and now the tracking on my next bunch isn't updating ) what if i get arrested? my parents CANNOT know what i'm doing or my life will be horrifically worse than it already is like either i'd be homeless or they'd start abusing me again. fuck!!!-
inb4 it's fine and i'm happily abusing my body tomorrow night :/
god i'm just fucked either way aren't i?

 

[CTB Dream]

This alld pain sffr alld nostp pain sffr alld trama alld injury damage

 

[violetforever]

i know this is a stupid method, not even sure if i want it to work or if i just want to put myself in danger, but i feel like taking pills (i only have OTC ones which makes it stupider) and drowning in my pool…

 

[aoseno perpetuo]

disappointed

 

[violetforever]

nobody cares if youre trying. they want you to already be and if you arent then youve already lost. ive already lost.

 

[lilb0wpeep]

Annoyed. Annoyed that I'm still alive. Annoyed that I can't die. Annoyed that I can't "recover". Annoyed that anytime I try and search for/get help instead of there being any clue as to how I can solve my problems I'm answered with the same explanation as to why or what my problems are. Like yes I know I have mental illness, I know the way it works, but how tf am I supposed to "overcome it"!! Like you say to get help, and that's exactly what I'm trying to do!!
I'm annoyed that every moment I'm conscious I can't fucking stand it. That I feel the need to eat 24/7 while also watching and doing something because I can't stand the pain, I need something to reward myself, and to physically and mentally distract myself. How do I get over that I ask. "Go to therapy" IVE BEEN IN THERAPY MAJORITY OF MY FUCKING LIFE, it has never been any sort of answer or help to any problem. "Stop eating" WELL HOW TF DO I DO THAT!!?!?! "Be mindful" ISTG IF I COULD I FUXKING WOULD!!!

 

[Canto XIII]

Like yes I know I have mental illness, I know the way it works, but how tf am I supposed to "overcome it"!!

Real.

I think melancholy is the only emotion I'm left with, most of the time.

 

[Ethel]

Overwhelmed, so much Overwhelmed rn,i can't stop myself from feeling or thinking at all,this shouldn't be this way,horrible, horrible, horrible.

 

[MAKE IT STOP!]

feeling like cutting again over a god damn first world problem

 

[CTB Dream]

this wrld rly awfl allthing dtriort ppl prtnd okok

 

[Minfilia]

very unsure how i feel right now
i just want to bash my head into a wall and never talk again because i hate how talkative i can be

 

[flowersforalgernons]

grief. endless grief.
anger, defiance.
pleasure.
silence.

 

[yume_]

Y'know, in the end I'll probably keep "living" (the more appropriate word would be existing). Maybe I'm just a poser, but everything I plan to do ends up with me giving up, so that's probs what would happen if I tried to plan for suicide. At the same time, I just can't make an effort to change, I admit, It's my fault, my laziness, I stand still while my life falls apart. I planned that by the end of this year I would decide if I wanted to live or not, but I don't think I will be able to decide. 6 months till then.... What I really want? A break. I just wish I could stop existing for a year and then come back.

 

[Rainork]

Sad. Just overwhelmingly, suffocatingly sad.

Today is one of those days where I've felt deflated since waking up, am struggling to do anything and keep randomly crying for no reason other than because I'm sad.
Depression sucks.

 

[slowlybreaking]

I miss him so much. I feel guilty for not having stayed. Even though he told me in his note it wasn't my fault to begin with, that he had his baggage long ago, but I can't shake this dreadful need to follow him into the afterlife.

 

[star.trip]

If I had to choose one word to describe my life, it would be "disappointing."

Sometimes I feel like I don't fit into society. I feel like everything overwhelms me. I don't know how to live, but I don't want to learn how to live either (it hurts so much to keep going; life is constant pain). It's frustrating to know that I was born with flaws and that I'll never be able to fix them. I know people would take advantage of me to achieve their goals and, in the process, hurt me.

But it's a pain I've allowed to happen, and it's hard for me because I'm not able to see the other person's intentions.
As for love, let's not even go there. I always say that love is for professionals (and I'm not one). Love is the best way there is to manipulate others; love is a dangerous weapon. It's a game you come out of with many wounds and very few benefits—benefits that aren't worth it.
More and more, I wish I didn't exist.

 

[xKiraSlumberx]

Sometimes I wish I could just stare at one place blankly for hours and not have to move or do anything or eat. I sometimes wish sustaining myself wasn't a requirement that I had to do.

 

[SweetChariot]

Just an empty husk, can't even enjoy anything

 

[GlassMoon]

Emotional turmoil, emotional tension. I just want it to stop.

 

[Bad Mojo]

My best friend is branching out and I'm insecure about it. I think I say weird shit that makes it worse. I'm happy for him in any case. It's all very natural. I don't feel bad about it in the sense that I resent him, because I don't at all. I just feel like when he's gone, he's my only friend and I won't be friends with anyone anymore. People have a tendency to outgrow me. My fears just push it along. And now I'm slightly paranoid about him, but I also trust him. And I guess I trust the whole process. I just hate that I'm always a stepping stone. I want someone to stay with me instead of moving past me.

 

[angel164]

alone

 

[tan9284673]

I feel anxious. Anything makes me anxious.

 

[seeyoulater26]

I'm really trying to make it but FUCK the pain from it all is too much. I cried for hours again. I don't want to remember anymore. Please make it stop.
I got okay before. I will be okay again. But fuck!!!!!! Why did that have to happen? I was doing so good. I feel so stupid. I'm so ashamed.
I just want to feel okay again.

 

[troubled_puppet]

rattled

dreams

2am for me, woke up thirty minutes ago

i dont even have bad dreams and it wasnt even that bad or graphic, just confusing

sibling was asleep, parent was asleep

i checked the locks and went to my computer

i realized i was kind of just alone

take care