Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[FoolsExpedition]

i'm stressed the fuck out. almost to the point i wanna start tearing my room apart.

my meds don't work. they're not coming back. i have no friends but no will to make any new ones. my fucking country has been ruined by climate change and i'm sat here struggling in a 30c+ room with no aircon in a victorian era house that was built for the cold. i feel sick everyday. that's ontop of the years of trauma obviously.

i try to PSH and just get the horrible head exploding feeling and can't go through with it. i try with a belt and don't get that luckily but also don't pass out so that doesn't work either. i find DSL too late. i find MIC but i don't know the seller and i'm way too intimidated and hey even if i found them i have no idea how the fuck to get meto or benzos , i'm not smart or connected enough to find dealers in my country that might have fent or some shit. prescription ODs are a non method.

fuck all of this. FUCK ALL OF THIS. i can't fucking take it anymore and i feel like i'm gonna hurt myself

 

[pond]

Why does no one ever side with me? It's never my sister's fault. It's never my dad's fault. It's never my mom's fault.

It's always fucking mine. Even when I'm not the one who shouted first. Ofc I'm the one who gets yelled at. Even when I'm not the one who showed annoyance in their tone first. Ofc I'm the one who gets chewed out.

I hate being alive.

Where are all the bad drivers? Just put them all on my street and put me out of my misery please.

 

[Mrs. T-800]

I miss you, my love. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. I've felt so far away from you. It's the day coming up that I left that life, July 1998, just over two weeks or so. No matter what, I'll always be your lady. I wanted to live.
Until we meet again.
M.E.J.W.

 

[violetforever]

i captured a huge spider the size of my palm and freed it outside. that felt better than killing it.

 

[TwistedNightmares]

I'm tired of seeing others excel in life while I am left behind & not taken seriously. It looks like I will be forever trapped in an emotionally abusive situation that I can't escape from at all.
I guess I just don't matter.

 

[LostHighway]

From ideation to planning stage. It will take a couple months. I will go to San Francisco in a couple of weeks to see if I can find Fentanyl. Then I will find homes for my collection of objects that I love. I'll have to start goodbye notes. The hardest will be to my husband. I have to figure out where to do it. Somewhere that has cell service so I can alert authorities - but where the authorities will arrive at least a half hour after I'm gone. This is all so overwhelming and daunting to me. I'm scared that I will go to Hell, even though I don't believe in Hell. Or I will reincarnate into someone worse off than I am now.

 

[LilGhost]

I don't belong here. Not in this world. I fear even if I'll survive, I still be an outcast. I hate that I never can be close to people. That I see in others actions pieces that doesn't make sense. That's something is off, but people are just complicated as that so I can't trust my own judgment. Even more I'm scared of being mediocrity. Like….. I hate how i can't fit in but I fear being mediocrity is somehow worse. And I wish people cared. I wish I could tell it to my friends. But why would they care?

 

[peacebenow]

Claustrophobic

 

[StupiderJuniper]

i feel like screaming and i already did a bit lol. i just want to be freed.

 

[scordatura]

It doesn't matter how much bleach I pour over it does it? My life will always have an unwashable stain

 

[lilyistootired]

Tired, wishing someone would rescue me from my own life despite knowing that's not a thing that happens.

 

[melancholyxx]

Tired. I distract myself with netflix shows or scrolling aimlessly on instagram but all it takes is a split second where the connection fucks up and my show stops for a moment; or some silent ad on instagram for all the thoughts I've been running away from to settle in. I hate not having anyone I can relate to in this shithole city. I hate living so broke. I just want my thoughts to be quiet so the emotions don't sink in.

 

[apersonhaveawingtof]

回想起我的初中时光，心中涌起一股复杂的情绪。

 

[LeDentistPenguin]

im hungry and a bit sleepy

 

[meiherasayuri]

I'm so confused, I don't know if you're alive or dead. I'm so confused. I want to believe you're still here and that you're just running away from me, but I lose hope more and more each day. Despair It keeps growing, what am I doing wrong? Is this some kind of punishment? I want you to know that I care about you, and I know you'll never read this, but I miss you so much....

 

[kju]

I'm tired, sleep quality has been horrendous. I've been struggling to eat recently due to stress, so if I eat something I just. throw it up or my stomach revolts in some other way. Wish I still had some of my former urge to fight off this sickness. I think I'm resigning to the fact that I'm unable to get better

 

[whocaresabouttrans]

Tired of everything, hoping something goes wrong in my life (shouldn't have to wait too long) so I can finally get the motivation to ctb, really lacking motivation to do anything rn but be a wage slave zombie

 

[tomame]

tired and misunderstood

 

[COP2CON]

I never do this but alot is going on and i thought id try it. Things are pretty bad right now and im trying anything to lessen it all.

Panicked, scared, hurt(emotionally), embarrassed, lonely, can't breathe, hurt (physically, think I broke my foot), breaking, fading.

I miss so many people and just feel like such a bad person. I can't figure out why the bad won't stop, why cant I even just hang in limbo for awhile instead of more stuff to bring me lower.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

I'm fucking pissed at myself for being weak. I want to press the blade deeper and give myself scars that I can REALLY feel. But I'm such a little bitch about it. Years I've been doing this, but never enough. And fuck, it's on the arm that I need to donate plasma with! FUCCK!!

 

[hurts2b]

Strange and perhaps disconnect from reality.

I want to just die rather than deal with anything. The initial reason that I blamed my suicidal feelings on is a whole lot less of problems now.

But I'm still suicidal.

So. Fucking what?

I'm not built for this world and this world wasn't built for me. Don't want to have to be on ssris forever. Don't wanna live the rest of my my life in the suburbs.

Don't want to have to grieve anyone.

Never wanna do anything. Ever.

 

[violetforever]

im laying here thinking about how it really does feel like the end of everything for my life and then a song called "its only the end of the world" came on so i guess its like a sign that im right..

 

[violetforever]

of all things, i just wanted you to like me

 

[scordatura]

I was in a fucked up relationship many years ago. He's in prison now, but it seems the harm he's done can't be undone. Digital violence exists forever. It's been years and it's all still there. I suppose when he realised he's lost his own freedom and his control he needed to lash out. I don't know how the fuck to fight back cause society is fucked up, they can't handle this shit so I can't talk about it. In fact, there are people who think it's funny and it's them that are still keeping it alive, and why I can't ever get my peace back, why I'll never get my life back. My old life back.

He's isolated me. He's ruined me. He violated me. But with everything I've dealt with in the aftermath over the years. I am numb.

If there's karma, I hope it gets them, but if that was the case then why do terrible things happen to those who didn't deserve it? I'm not meaning only 'good people', I mean normal people. You don't need to be a saint to be undeserving of bad things.

Stay safe everyone. There are malicious people out there...

 

[MaeW]

Sad and hopeless

 

[turstehers]

Sad and hopeless

The same

 

[violetforever]

this is such an insignificant post but does anyone else notice how fucking shitty google search is now? i try to search things and it shows a few results that are relevant and then the rest just have nothing to do with what i even searched? even using quotes around the search doesnt help. it used to but now it will just come up with no results even though thats literally not possible? how can there be absolutely nothing to show for a search online? everything is just increasingly bad now. i think its so we just use ai. ugh.

 

[Myrth]

I feel empty, as if my inner being just can't experience anything other than bad emotions.

 

[mars2027]

I hate summers with all my heart. When people talk about seasonal depression they talk about winter but for me it's this shit season.

 

[Bad Mojo]

I'm trying to quit smoking & drinking but am now feeling the craving for booze because I'm lonely and have no friends (except one who is gradually and amicably growing distant) and can only talk to people when I'm drunk. Every friendship I've had (and lost) since high school has been established while I was intoxicated so.... there's a 50% chance I'll do something retarded and move on after a day or two of intense shame or 50% chance something good happens. If I do anything to begin with anyway. Either way I'm feeding back into an active addiction .