Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[violetforever]

i really wonder how much relationships are actually love vs two people staying together because they know they cant find better/they fear finding better and getting left themselves. i never wanna be in this situation.

 

[CTB Dream]

this all pain sffr nostp

 

[trav4d0fudid3x]

i feel like staying in my room for the rest of my life on meds and weed

 

[overlyelusive]

It's hurting me a lot how much I have to pretend that I'm completely fine. I can't even safely tell exactly what I'm feeling to a therapist, let alone the people that I care about. I hate how taboo it is to just tell people how suicidal you are, it makes it really really hard to actually have any hope of functioning otherwise or recovering. I hate how I'm so close to ctb and yet no one suspects that I'm even depressed. Too much pressure to try and pretend to be this likeable happy person. I'm so lonely and scared and jaded and I don't know what to do anymore.

 

[SoLowHollow48]

Gassy.

 

[February_In_April]

I feel just very lonely and exhausted as I keep up with trying more therapist and psychologist and hoping multiple things change drastically in my life in a positive direction even if the odds of those things happening is drastically low statically speaking in my opinion.

 

[Fresh Soju]

I feel awful, but studying, anime, and writing helped me calm down a bit.
I might dress up tomorrow in my schoolgirl outfit or something and try to cheer up that way.. And also buy some new clothes as it's been almost 2 years(?) since I've last done any kind of haul and I feel it's time for some more variety, especially after I gave away over 50% of the previous clothes I had when I went Marie Kondo on my closet, so my selection right now is adequate but not exactly big, and being a fashionista that can be a tad suffocating at times.. Especially when fashion is one of the only things in life which always cheers me up no matter how far down I am.

 

[dhk96]

I just want to fucking die...

 

[Fresh Soju]

Watched Pt2, but watching this Pt1 now.. Somehow it's really relaxing and makes me feel less lonely as I am studying.

 

[Lov3]

That person I only see once a week finally talked to me. It was a pleasant moment—there was something different about it. We both have the same thoughts about death, but I also feel the desire to be with this person. Life is so paradoxical… I want to live to have something with them, but I'm already struggling to carry the burdens of life.
Still, I like that smile… but I know I'm probably just fooling myself. I don't think I could be in another relationship.

 

[herlockshomes]

I am tired of being tired. I want to either just go to sleep or be fully awake so I can actually function.

 

[violetforever]

i saw a guy sitting in the middle of the train tracks with his head in his knees and what looked like a woman trying to comfort him/get him up

 

[z14z]

honestly so tired and unmotivated

 

[workhorse]

drunk

 

[nocturnal123]

Tired and wanting to sleep forever

 

[mars2027]

I wish my family would understand my feelings.

 

[PurpleMorality]

Small, scared, not safe or secure. Drained, hopeless, resigned. Feeling like a waste of space and a piece of shit, and just all around awful.

 

[inkmage333]

I think I'll be happy if I sleep forever and never wake up

 

[whywere]

I think I'll be happy if I sleep forever and never wake up

I care about you and reading this made me sad.

You bring depth and relevant thinking to this site along with love and empathy towards all here.

You are a wonderful family member to me, and I wish you a sunny weekend filled with love and caring thoughts.

Walter

 

[Lov3]

I would love to be close to the people I like without feeling like I want to leave, I wish I didn't feel this way... maybe someday I'll manage it, but the thought keeps coming to me that it will never happen.

 

[violetforever]

i dont know if its because i didnt have the distraction of my phone, the cold and dark stormy weather outside, hunger from not having ate anything all day or because this is just my personality and how my brain functions but it nauseated me to be in public today. its been like this for a while but it felt really dreadful today. i kind of hate the sight of endless aisles of food and things. it discomforts me to catch men, especially the men with their wives and kids, looking at me and then trying to look away quick enough when i notice. im always subconsciously looking for women i find prettier than me or looking at children and admiring their innocence that i dont have anymore. i dont know how to describe it other than i just feel out of place in public and id rather not be there. id rather not exist and be surrounded by other people. its probably worrying how much my mood calmed when i got home and could just be in the comfort of home and more alone. my favorite part of "existing" isnt even existing to the full extent. i love laying in bed in the dark and just talking on the phone with ****. i cant see anything and it feels like i hardly exist at all besides hearing and talking with him. id prefer to both hear and see him on video or even better yet in person but the thing is i dont want to have to be there and be seen. i dont want to be present in my own moments of life that i desire. i wish i could just be like an invisible bystander in other peoples lives and this world. i dont have to interact with anything or anyone because so much of everything proves to be unfulfilling anyway, i could just watch. i wish i could detach from my entire being because its tiring to do this everyday.

i just typed all of this while laying on my grandmas bed right beside her lol.

 

[disgustedbyhumanity]

the kindest thing someone could do for me is take my life

 

[Manaaja]

American saying "it's easier to believe that 100 million people are lazy, than to believe 100 people are greedy".

Finnish saying "It's easier to label a literal newborn as permanently mentally ill and evil, than to admit that some parents aren't perfect".

Bible says it's easier for a camel to go through a needle hole than for a rich person to enter heaven. I think it should be "it's easier for a rock to grow than for a parent."

 

[dead dav]

Sad I woke up again

 

[Medi]

I can't breathe from sadness

 

[PanaxMan]

So much pain and tiredness yet I know there is more to come

 

[heartinparadise]

so much work too much work to be done for simply existing, didn't sign up for this, what do you mean I must toil and suffer pain in order to keep greater pain at bay, one star review.

 

[violetforever]

my only close friend is talking to a new friend and its definitely part of why i feel like we talk less or she leaves me on read. i actually encouraged her to make new friends and im happy she did but im self centered and it reminds me that im not enough for anyone. i dont know why i thought this friendship would be any different. all my friendships drift apart for my own fault and being.

i feel like this so much:

 

[ilovemanhattancafe]

i feel love for my soulmate! and i don't want to make him sad anymore, i want to make him happy!

 

[mars2027]

It feels like my life has flattened into a loop. Days blending into each other without anything distinct enough to hold onto. I wake up, move through the same patterns, and go to sleep without anything that feels like it belongs uniquely to this day. I pass the days thinking about solutions to put me out of this misery but I can't seem to move past the thoughts, while time keeps slipping forward.