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Sprite_Geist

Sprite_Geist

NULL
May 27, 2020
1,676
I am feeling lonely again; not because I have nobody in my life, but because I am only with people who I have no choice but to be around. If I knew that my semi-attempt at suicide years back would not be successful I would not have distanced myself from close friends; they were the only people who I had a genuine connection with, and they gave me the feeling that I am my own person, and not just an extension of my relatives.

I am trying to make an effort to be as independent as possible, but certain family members will not allow me to do anything myself. I feel like my life has been lived for me; I feel like a total loser. This is partly my own fault, because I should have tried harder to defeat my demons years ago, and then I could have had the ability to move away from family and live my own life! It is too late for this though.
 
EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
5,119
I think I just got broken up with. He wasn't mean about anything about it. I understand where he is coming from. He doesn't have much time left and I can't meet up with him and he wants to spend his time with someone he can actually be with irl. It still hurts though. He said we can't even be friends, though he still plans on messaging me tomorrow. I'm not mad at him. I understand where you is coming from. But it just hurts so much. I love him so much and I don't want to lose him, but there isn't anything I can do. I just want him to be happy and if he thinks that this is for the best then all I can do is accept that.
 

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