Discussion Were you suicidal as a child?

[darksouls]

as a child I always thought that I had been switched with another baby at birth and that my real family would come and take me home someday
but they never came
I first had suicidal thoughts when I was about 14

 

[deep-sleeper]

I have been since middle school

 

[Eriktf]

yes not sure what age it started but before i turned 10 for sure
i remember holding a knife and thinking i could cut my arms and die
also heaving some memories of having a plastic bag around my head
remember joking about hanging myself, learned the hangmans noose in my teens
but i never tried anything before i was 19

 

[repeat.]

I started having suicidal thoughts back in primary school, when I was about 8 years old. I kept thinking I wasn't good enough, that the world would be a much better place without me. I began cutting and burning myself around the age of 10, and the wish to die has never really left me

 

[barelyholdingon]

Same here, about 5 years old for me when I started pondering my death and causing it myself

 

[Upon a hanging Body]

I was 10 and I jumped off a building, I just sprained my legs ...

 

[katara]

No. I was an anxious kid though due to SA. I was also depressed due to family mistreatment at the time. I started becoming severely depressed and suicidal at age 19 and continued to be so since then.

This makes me sad to hear bc you are one of my favorite accounts on here.

 

[nuva]

I distinctly remember when I was 6 y.o,I trying to strangle myself with a scarf because I was hysterical. I don't know where it came from, and I'll never know if I really wanted to end it, because my mom stopped me before anything could happen. But I do remember that later, when I was 8, I would have thoughts about disappearing or dying when I was facing some kind of problems or negative emotions. I only remember those two moments well.I guess later these thoughts just disappeared and came back at random times.
I still don't know where these thoughts and ideas came from, but I don't even try to figure it out, I don't trust my memory

 

[divinemistress36]

Once I started having a period at like 13 years old is when the depression started. Damn puberty

 

[chasingsarcasm]

When I was little I didn't know you could kill yourself. The concept wasn't something I had thought of. But for some reason when I was around 6 or 7 I heard the word "suicide" and I asked what it meant. It was like a gate opened for me when my mom told me. Like I just *knew* that was how I was meant to go out. I wasn't actively suicidal until I was a little older I was just fascinated with the idea. Around 9 or 10 is when I started getting depressed. Middle school is when I started getting suicidal but I never attempted until I was an adult.

 

[starinthesky]

Unexplainable sadness / somberness was always there. I always thought as a kid we live too long. Proper suicidal ideation started at around 11 for me