Venting update on my loss of my special person. i can’t move on.

[w4itingforthesun]

i still miss him so badly. i managed to contact someone who knew him and explained everything. then i saw that he had been calling this person for hours at a time and i had no clue. he also lied about his age. i feel so sick. even despite all the lies i found out, i don't even care. i just want him back. i want him back and i miss him and i know i was special i was the only one he said good morning to and talked to every single day i miss him i would do anything for another chance with him i don't care about anything else i don't care to move on. i tried sending him a goodbye message through the person i contacted and he is going through our discord dms and deleting every single message he's ever sent me. it's hurting so bad. 2 years of our history he is just deleting. 165k messages has gone down to 150k. he's just deleting everything i cant even hold on to what we had. am i being punished for wanting to say goodbye? did i go too fast? should i have given him more space for longer before contacting this person and trying to get in contact? it was only 2 days and now i feel so much regret because maybe if i had given it like a month he would've come back. but i was too pushy again and now im facing the consequences. im so sick and i miss him and i just want him back. i dont care about everything i discovered. i don't care how much he lied or if im not his special person i just want him to come back to me and it hurts so so so bad.

 

[anopenwound]

Honey. I could have written this myself. I know how you're feeling deep to my fucking bones.

Do you wanna tell me / us what's the context behind this? I, for one, wanna hear your story.

 

[lahey]

really hard to stop talking to someone who has been a part of your day for such a long time.

 

[w4itingforthesun]

Honey. I could have written this myself. I know how you're feeling deep to my fucking bones.

Do you wanna tell me / us what's the context behind this? I, for one, wanna hear your story.

sorry i replied to this and kept accidentally reposting it so ill reply again.
i met this guy on a game called overwatch about 2 years ago and we hit it off super well and we started talking every day and he added me on discord and we spoke every day. i've never grown so close to a person and i never had someone say good morning to me every day like he did, spoke to me every day like he did. he introduced me to a feeling of love towards someone that i had never felt before. all i ever wanted was something like this. i've never cared about anyone so much before. there was a point where we took a break for about 2 months but he reached out to me and then we started talking every single day again. i was so happy to have him back. he said he loved me and only wanted me. every time i made mistakes or was a problem he was patient and said it was okay and that our love was stronger than some small problems. but i really messed it all up and i kept being a problem too many times and he finally got tired of me and said he was done with me. i don't care i just want him back i miss him so badly it hurts so badly and it's all my fault i really hope something else kills me so i dont have to do it myself.

really hard to stop talking to someone who has been a part of your day for such a long time.

i can't handle it at all. but it seems like it's not the same way for him. it hasn't been hard for him at all and seeing him be completely fine and seeing him even deleting all of our messages together is so hard and im hurting so badly