Venting Unfortunate

[AnxietyAttack44]

Just had a heart attack, or a stroke. 5 hours unconscious. Still fucking alive. No doctor because im stuborn. Had called mum (10000km away) cuz i passed out in call with her. Brother called someone here to check up on me. Feeling numb and wooden and i barely breathe. Talked like a retard for an hour (no offense to anyone), couldnt stop repeating first letter i say. First thing i remember is crying to god "why the fuck am i still alive?". I hope to hear from him soon to hear why. I bet he wont respond. I honestly think both heaven and hell hate me, or have a fun bet on my failures.

I woke up on the floor and couldnt breath. Extreme pain in everything. No feeling in my limbs. I was thinking "well ok then. I guess i die now. Fucking hurts and is uncomfortable but iight. I can take one more." But no. Bloody hell. Im back and extremely tired and weak. People that checked up on me said im freezing cold, and this is hot tropical country. Hopefully this takes few years of life off my back atleast. I hate my life. This took an hour to write.. Just so stressed and disappointed. And sad. And angry. Oh well back to suicide plans while i can still do them. So sleepy..

Thanks for reading. I really do hope it gets better for you guys.

Edit: honestly felt it coming for days but ignored it. Still feeling it but its cool. Whatevwr life wants. Right? Also dont know why but bloody vomit everywhere.. i mean really bloody. Red. Oh well sorry. Still under effect

 

[PrettyMoose]

I'm sorry, that sounds horrible. You might want to see a doctor because it could strike again and still not kill you but leave you as a vegetable. No one wants that.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

I'm sorry, that sounds horrible. You might want to see a doctor because it could strike again and still not kill you but leave you as a vegetable. No one wants that.

I know but we all agreed on no doctor. It isnt first time and ill take my chances one more time. But thanks, i do appreciate concern really. Wish it was as simple as 1 2 3 die

 

[Brick In The Wall]

That sounds pretty scary. Having a stroke or heart attack is honestly one of my biggest fears. I hope you atleast regain all of your faculties, get some rest.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

That sounds pretty scary. Having a stroke or heart attack is honestly one of my biggest fears. I hope you atleast regain all of your faculties, get some rest.

Thank you. Ican walk alone now. Talking is iffy still but getting there. It is scary. Feeling of no air sure aint fun. Unfortunately for my situation i recovered. Must not be my time yet. Thanks again