Venting tw: abuse, breakdown at the grocer

[disableddoll]

Today i had a full meltdown like a toddler in the grocery store because my boyfriend asked me why i was so afraid to walk in front of him pushing the cart. When i have to i'm constantly looking behind me and skipping steps.
My mother found these "loophole" ways of physically abusing me like forcing medication, trying to trip me, not letting me eat, and yes ramming me with a grocery cart "on accident". She also frequently tried to hit me with doors or close my legs/hands in them. I'm honestly terrified of grocery stores in general and i really liked that one :/ i don't think i should EVER go back

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i'm so sorry your mother was so awful to you.

if your boyfriend isn't aware, maybe telling him why you don't want to walk in front of him. if you're not comfortable explaining the details of your abuse, then you should simply say that it makes you uncomfortable. he should at the very least respect that.

i don't think you have to avoid going there again - i'm presuming that this comes from a place of embarassment? there's nothing wrong with being uncomfortable/afraid of/overwhelmed with certain things because they bring back trauma. if people were judging you, then that's a problem for them.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm sorry you had to endure such an uncomfortable situation. If you're comfortable it would be good to talk to your bf so he understands what happened.

In your position I would go back to the store. We always remember embarrassing things that happen to us more than uninvolved people do, and even if they do remember they are more likely to be empathetic.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I am really sorry to hear about your past. A breakdown is totally understandable and I hope you were able to find some comfort and feel a little better after this.