Toxic Father

[312]

Hello, I am 22 years old and I live with my father and mother. Both were overprotective, until I started to cut these ties with great cost, but my father still treats me like a child even though I repeatedly said that I was not one and making him accept my growth, which he does not want. What do I do? I always speak the truth because I don't like to hide things and treat everything in the best possible way, after all I was willing to talk to change this situation without sounding aggressive, but unfortunately it seems that I will have to be more aggressive. My boyfriend will also come to my city to visit me and I want to spend those days at his house, I know that my father would not let me, but I am not willing to ask for permission because I am already of age. I wanted things to be different, for him to accept my growth (because it is a natural part of life) and we could have a good relationship, I didn't want to leave him, but by his actions this will be the only and unfortunate alternative.

 

[NoTime]

u are 22 and living with ur parents........

moved out when i was 16, u realize the harsh truth that u will have to struggle alone through most of the problems you face

no mommy, or daddy to aid you.

i dont really see a problem here that u cant change

 

[WornOutLife]

My parents used to be really overprotective too. I started living alone when I was 25 and that was paradise!
I hope your father allows you to go to bf's house and if not, you should find the way to go there anyway.
You're 22, not 15. You have the right to be FREE.

Anyway, hope things get better somehow.

Wish you the best!

 

[foxdie]

Hello, I am 22 years old and I live with my father and mother. Both were overprotective, until I started to cut these ties with great cost, but my father still treats me like a child even though I repeatedly said that I was not one and making him accept my growth, which he does not want. What do I do? I always speak the truth because I don't like to hide things and treat everything in the best possible way, after all I was willing to talk to change this situation without sounding aggressive, but unfortunately it seems that I will have to be more aggressive. My boyfriend will also come to my city to visit me and I want to spend those days at his house, I know that my father would not let me, but I am not willing to ask for permission because I am already of age. I wanted things to be different, for him to accept my growth (because it is a natural part of life) and we could have a good relationship, I didn't want to leave him, but by his actions this will be the only and unfortunate alternative.

Well you don't have to leave your father but he does need to respect you imo. Just go see your bf, don't ask permission at all. He wouldn't harm you if you disobey would he?

Also continue to speak your truth to your father, always be straightforward with him. Would your mother be able to mediate between you two?

 

[312]

u are 22 and living with ur parents........

moved out when i was 16, u realize the harsh truth that u will have to struggle alone through most of the problems you face

no mommy, or daddy to aid you.

i dont really see a problem here that u cant change

Well, I'm trying to change the situation, it's a little more difficult than it looks, but not impossible

My parents used to be really overprotective too. I started living alone when I was 25 and that was paradise!
I hope your father allows you to go to bf's house and if not, you should find the way to go there anyway.
You're 22, not 15. You have the right to be FREE.

Anyway, hope things get better somehow.

Wish you the best!

Thank you ! I'm trying to do this in the best possible way, without generating fights (which are unnecessary) and being all in peace, but it seems that all the alternatives generate some kind of confusion

Well you don't have to leave your father but he does need to respect you imo. Just go see your bf, don't ask permission at all. He wouldn't harm you if you disobey would he?

Also continue to speak your truth to your father, always be straightforward with him. Would your mother be able to mediate between you two?

I believe that he would not hurt me, and even if he stops talking to me, I accept if it is to become "adult". As for my mother, she barely talks to him, basically they just live in the same house and they talk all the time

 

[foxdie]

Well, I'm trying to change the situation, it's a little more difficult than it looks, but not impossible

Thank you ! I'm trying to do this in the best possible way, without generating fights (which are unnecessary) and being all in peace, but it seems that all the alternatives generate some kind of confusion

I believe that he would not hurt me, and even if he stops talking to me, I accept if it is to become "adult". As for my mother, she barely talks to him, basically they just live in the same house and they talk all the time

I'm glad to hear he won't hurt you and sorry your mother can't help. I think you may have to ice him out, imo. Just to make him respect you as an adult. It might generate a fight unfortunately but no need to let it get nasty. Sometimes people need a bit of a wake up call. I hope things work out for you

 

[Deleted member 25508]

u are 22 and living with ur parents........

moved out when i was 16, u realize the harsh truth that u will have to struggle alone through most of the problems you face

no mommy, or daddy to aid you.

i dont really see a problem here that u cant change

yeah some people dont have the ability to do that and thats why theyre posting on a suicide forum