Torn between living and leaving

[PDAnnie2610]

I can't stop crying. I've managed to get what I need. But I'm torn and worried and I really don't wish to go through life as an unwanted outcast anymore.

I plan to wait a year. To give myself a chance though I know I'm doomed to choose the path I'll choose.

I just don't wish to be cheated, hurt or be an outlier anymore. I know I'm not a priority and it hurts.

 

[S1mpleme]

If you ask me - I don't want you to go even if I know nothing about you, this is how I feel. You're priority to me and if I can do something for you, please let me know.

 

[martha]

I was in the same situation as you and I understand you so well
Depression made me numb and turned me into a hopeless wreck.
Few weeks ago I found myself crying overr a useless television show about homeless people and their supporters.
Up till that moment the "others" were a heartless crowd in my opinion and I was so scared of even be" confronted with the "outside world".

Only left my flat for doin´ some essentiell shopping.

Sounds weird, but my crying felt good.....it was the first emotional reaction I had for months....

since then I got better daily......

started to contact my friends....started to tidy up my flat and my life and the countless insults I went through.....my tears washed them away...

I personally think, it is a good idea to delay your plans....
Give yourself some time , there is no rush....
I am anything but a pro-lifer, and would accept any other decision.....but I want u to see yourself some day like others see you.
You are precious!


Love and hugs

 

[SlackJim]

If you are at least giving yourself another chance, then it sounds like you have made yourself a priority. It is very difficult in practice, but your self worth can only ever come from yourself. Latch on to that feeling that you might want to live, since right now it is stronger than the opposing force. The more you love yourself the more you will attract similar people and the less you will get hurt by other people. It's a tough place to be in, that horrible limbo between rock bottom and recovery, I hope you can pull through.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

Thank you for the kind replies..

 

[Thereisnothing]

Thank you for the kind replies..

You are worth it sweetheart. Remember there are those who care about you.