Today’s the day… Again

[yotaka]

Wishing you peace and rest

 

[Captive_Mind515]

I hope everything goes how you want and you get your peace.

I've only just realised that it was you who made this thread: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/non-methods-that-should-not-be-attempted.177799/

A very useful and helpful addition to the forum. Thank you for your contributions and sorry you've suffered so much in this life.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I hope everything goes how you want and you get your peace.

I've only just realised that it was you who made this thread: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/non-methods-that-should-not-be-attempted.177799/

A very useful and helpful addition to the forum. Thank you for your contributions and sorry you've suffered so much in this life.

Oh wow. Yes, copy that.

 

[MyLifeisHell]

I've been heartbroken for you for a long time. I don't know what to hope for. You have tried and done so much, both by free will and force. If things go south or simply don't work I hope you can update us. Thinking of you.

 

[absolute failure]

T

Today I have my routine IV infusion for my health issues. I've got a syringe of contaminated water ready that's been sitting for a couple of days in mostly ideal conditions to allow as many bacteria to grow as possible. Based on where I've sourced it, it will be millions, maybe even billions of bacteria. Straight to the vein. I will likely be gone, or at least unconscious, within 12 hours or less. I'm so ready to be gone. It won't be pleasant, but I plan on taking some of my prescriptions to try and help with the symptoms.

This is a method that frightens me . How come you just go through with that? :(

 

[darksouls]

T

This is a method that frightens me . How come you just go through with that? :(

I am a sepsis survivor, you have to be very deperate to go through with that

 

[absolute failure]

I am a sepsis survivor, you have to be very deperate to go through with that

Yeah. This seems like a very painful and unnecessary method.

 

[rabbitjack]

I've survived both SN and multiple attempts at hanging. I've also survived going over a dam in freezing temperatures as well as overdoses and years of potentially lethal self harm. This is not my first choice of a method. And at least in the US, N is not available to healthcare workers. And yes, I have both seen and experienced intractable pain. My health is declining rapidly. I am in pain every day. I am reliant on medications and surgically implanted medical devices to even sort of live, and there is no quality of life in it. I did not opt into this lightly. I am well aware of the risk I am taking, and hence my not sharing the source of bacteria as I would never want anyone else to try this. But the pain for the 6-48 hours following (though I would slip into unconsciousness well before death) are worth it to cease my daily mental and physical pain.

You survived SN? How much did you take? I thought it was a sure way to die.

 

[Arvayn]

Last online 51 minutes ago as of the time of posting... He's still kicking.

 

[willitpass]

I woke up this morning without a fever and generally feeling okay. I was starting to believe that somehow my body had managed to get on top of this. But my fever is rapidly rising once again, heart rate is spiking, body aches are back and worsening, freezing cold and shivery. Low urine output. About 19 hours post exposure now. I was hopeful that my extremely high bacterial load would cause a more rapid onset, but it seems that my body is taking the more traditional sepsis timeline. Such is life. This isn't much worse than a bad flare day for me so far, and I passed out last night, I could not keep myself awake for the life of me, I'm starting to feel similar again. Hopefully I can sleep through the progression.

 

[willitpass]

Things have been pretty stable since my last post. Temp went up a bit more but has since stayed there, not gone any higher yet. Pulse has gone up a tiny bit, though nothing crazy. The pain is fairly bad but not unbearable. Coming close to 24 hours now. Things could go downhill at any time with little to no warning. Once they do progress it will likely be pretty quick.

 

[Scythe]

Interesting method... Certainly never seen this before. Hope everything goes well for you!

 

[willitpass]

Fever remains the same but the body aches are getting worse, pulse is starting to rise more significantly, and the chills and sweating are getting worse. Getting a headache again too. And my ears are ringing.

 

[darksouls]

Fever remains the same but the body aches are getting worse, pulse is starting to rise more significantly, and the chills and sweating are getting worse. Getting a headache again too. And my ears are ringing.

I am so sorry for your suffering, I hope you find peace quickly, I am sending you much love

 

[willitpass]

Body aches are really bad even with meds. Super restless. My cat keeps smelling me super intently.

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

Body aches are really bad even with meds. Super restless. My cat keeps smelling me super intently.

Dunno I don't think it's going to be successful for you... Hoping you find the peace that you deserve obviously.

 

[aRose]

I'm amazed and also understand. If you've known intense pain it doesn't scare you anymore. Knowledge is power and you have put your skills to use. I hope you find rest at the end of this.

 

[callmeskin]

Horrible chills and shakes, fever is climbing. Hips and leg muscles hurt, but I took some pain meds that are starting to kick in.
fever is climbing very very quickly even with meds

any update?

 

[woofwag]

Horrible chills and shakes, fever is climbing. Hips and leg muscles hurt, but I took some pain meds that are starting to kick in.
fever is climbing very very quickly even with meds

Wishing you peace <3 I hope this death can be not too horribly painful. Take more pain meds if you need. There's no dosage now that will matter. Keep us updated if you have not passed by now

 

[Forveleth]

You have not been active for awhile. Just wanted to check in. Hope you are not suffering terribly.

 

[doomedbynarrative]

I hope you find peace