Venting tired

[babydeer]

I'm planning to ctb today. Been planning for a while but kept postponing thinking, I can turn my life around just a little bit at least, right? And then I'm so relieved to still be alive I do nothing and nothing changes. I'm pissed off at the way that my reasons to ctb suddenly aren't that bad when I'm facing the end, yet most days the only joy I have is the fact that life WILL end at some point and I'll finally be at peace. Ugh.

 

[strangeloner]

I seriously feel every word you said. Sometimes life actually makes you believe that everything can be good but just a second later everything comes crashing down again but even worse than before. In that moment I regret every situation I didn't ctb beause I was dumb enough to keep my hopes up. I wish I was strong enough because I can't imagine that there's anything more peaceful than death.
Be sure, you're not alone.

 

[FuneralCry]

I can relate. I find death comforting as it is the solution for all of life's problems. I hope you find peace whatever happens.

 

[Last chance]

I can relate to this too,the days where things dont seem quite as bad are always tarnished by the knowledge that things will always get worse again.

 

[babydeer]

I seriously feel every word you said. Sometimes life actually makes you believe that everything can be good but just a second later everything comes crashing down again but even worse than before. In that moment I regret every situation I didn't ctb beause I was dumb enough to keep my hopes up. I wish I was strong enough because I can't imagine that there's anything more peaceful than death.
Be sure, you're not alone.

You get it exactly! I wish past me had just gotten it over with so I wouldn't be here now. I feel so tired constantly and I feel like death is the only rest that can cure that weariness yet I'm still here.
Thanks for your kind words

I can relate. I find death comforting as it is the solution for all of life's problems. I hope you find peace whatever happens.

My thoughts exactly. Thank you <3

I can relate to this too,the days where things dont seem quite as bad are always tarnished by the knowledge that things will always get worse again.

Right? I feel like I get trapped in a loop. Things are bad and I want to leave, and then things aren't too bad so I stick around, repeat.