Venting Tired of people

[stasis]

I nearly committed suicide during a mental breakdown in the beginning of my last semester of college this past december. I went to a friend for help and after i did so she started treating me like i was pathetic and incompetent. eventually she threw me under the bus for a new group of friends who blatantly just didnt like me. My best friend of about 7 years also stopped putting in any effort at all into talking to me because they just have new friends now. Finally at the end of the semester i confessed that I had feelings for someone i was really honestly in love with, because i realistically probably wont ever see them again, and they responded by saying i had basically ruined our friendship and to never speak to them ever again.

Coming back home i just feel like such a miserable loser. i dont have anything i want to do and i dont have the motivation to do anything. i feel so burnt out socially, because of everything thats happened and because im probably really autistic. on top of that it just feels like i constantly disappoint my parents just by existing, and i just cant really be myself around them. it just never feels like anything gets better and people always disappoint me.

 

[Kenny]

It is cruel how often instead of helping, people will choose to throw you under the bus. I've had a somewhat similar experience with my family, y'know, the people that should love you by default? My dad actually told me directly to "do it", when I was on the edge of tears.

I hate to hear that someone you loved left you over it though. They should help you if they hear about these sorts of thoughts, not leave you. That's on them.

 

[dragonofenvy]

Sometimes I wonder why we're dragged through barbed wire by people and expected to patch ourselves up, and are shamed and mocked for not being able to do so, dragging us down even more.

 

[stasis]

It is cruel how often instead of helping, people will choose to throw you under the bus. I've had a somewhat similar experience with my family, y'know, the people that should love you by default? My dad actually told me directly to "do it", when I was on the edge of tears.

I hate to hear that someone you loved left you over it though. They should help you if they hear about these sorts of thoughts, not leave you. That's on them.

Thanks for the kind reply, it actually means a lot.
I had a conversation with an old friend a while ago over how disappointing family can be. Im not sure if this is your experience, but i think people grow up loving/relying on your family but as time goes by you realize how your parents are just... regular people. maybe even shitty people. Theyre not necessarily as wise or kind as you expected you to be, which feels like a massive letdown, especially when you wish you could rely on them more

 

[Kenny]

Thanks for the kind reply, it actually means a lot.
I had a conversation with an old friend a while ago over how disappointing family can be. Im not sure if this is your experience, but i think people grow up loving/relying on your family but as time goes by you realize how your parents are just... regular people. maybe even shitty people. Theyre not necessarily as wise or kind as you expected you to be, which feels like a massive letdown, especially when you wish you could rely on them more

I'm glad I can help you out, and yeah, that is really true. it's certainly been my experience with my dad. Almost everyone I know irl has good parents, which just isolates me, but it is what it is I suppose.