At this point I can guarantee that I'll always be suicidal based on how worthless I am alone. Even if my mental health was good, I'd still be suicidal because I'm aware of how worthless I am. I'm overweight (~200lbs and 5'10), and while obviously that shouldn't be used to judge people, it still does and I don't limit my conception of how the world should be. I absolutely hate myself for it, but I stress eat constantly because it's the only thing that lets me even momentarily push away my feelings. I'm dumb, not academically competent anymore, just want to cry, and exist constantly scared of the world, partially over being trans, and partially over the universe as a whole.
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