Venting this life isn't for me..

[_Minsk]

i did struggle since childhood, most of the time life was just hard, there were definitely some parts of my existence where i felt passion, creativity and meaning but only because i was happy and my health was still acceptable and allowing me to do so.. my main source of happiness was my health, even though i had to deal with depression and suicidal thoughts since very young.. still i wasn't inhibited to move through life and do the things i wanted.
crying and being sad/melancholic was even something i enjoyed because there were no big problems that couldn't be resolved and i felt very connected to my body, crying felt like relief and i just loved to listen to sad music.. but that's like 10 years ago, now life is just a painful nightmare..

i tried very hard and i actually managed to learn a lot, but it seems all fleeting and meaningless, once your health goes down to a critical level.

if i could take one thing from this life and erase it completely, i would definitely choose all diseases.
what's the point of life if all joy is sucked out due to chronic health issues..
..it ruined everything for me, there's nothing that would ever compensate the damage that took place due to it. relationships, hobbies, work, projects and so on are basically impossible and destroyed, there's no joy and drive left. I don't see the point of continuing this hopeless existence. i go through life and always come back this point.

i could have saved myself from so much pain and and so many letdowns. I'm not sure why i have to be so stubborn, i should have left so long ago..

 

[rest2love]

I'm so sorry that you lost your health, it is the most important factor in anyone's life. Yet it feels so exhausting to manage and keep up with it all the time.

Not only that, but the possibility of just getting "unlucky" with a random illness or disease is way too high and it seems as though it happens to the best people.

 

[ddd1234]

i did struggle since childhood, most of the time life was just hard, there were definitely some parts of my existence where i felt passion, creativity and meaning but only because i was happy and my health was still acceptable and allowing me to do so.. my main source of happiness was my health, even though i had to deal with depression and suicidal thoughts since very young.. still i wasn't inhibited to move through life and do the things i wanted.
crying and being sad/melancholic was even something i enjoyed because there were no big problems that couldn't be resolved and i felt very connected to my body, crying felt like relief and i just loved to listen to sad music.. but that's like 10 years ago, now life is just a painful nightmare..

i tried very hard and i actually managed to learn a lot, but it seems all fleeting and meaningless, once your health goes down to a critical level.

if i could take one thing from this life and erase it completely, i would definitely choose all diseases.
what's the point of life if all joy is sucked out due to chronic health issues..
..it ruined everything for me, there's nothing that would ever compensate the damage that took place due to it. relationships, hobbies, work, projects and so on are basically impossible and destroyed, there's no joy and drive left. I don't see the point of continuing this hopeless existence. i go through life and always come back this point.

i could have saved myself from so much pain and and so many letdowns. I'm not sure why i have to be so stubborn, i should have left so long ago..

What was happened that you lost your health?

 

[Elri]

I totally relate, you want to live with a ruined body , you could survive but in cost of your sanity

 

[FuneralCry]

Health problems can be torture and can ruin peoples lives. It is cruel how the society expects people to suffer for decades with them. We all deserve the option of a peaceful exit. None of us asked to exist in the first place. It is perfectly understandable wanting to exit when you are suffering so much. We are all human and there is only so much we can take. I hope you find peace.

 

[thinkkank]

Health problems can be torture and can ruin peoples lives. It is cruel how the society expects people to suffer for decades with them. We all deserve the option of a peaceful exit. None of us asked to exist in the first place. It is perfectly understandable wanting to exit when you are suffering so much. We are all human and there is only so much we can take. I hope you find peace.

yes, there's nothing wrong with ending pain. if the best years are behind you and the future looks grim, there's nothing wrong with saying "it's time to leave". I would exit not feeling depressed, but thankful for the good times. even one day of health and happiness is something to be thankful for.
There is peace in death and people should respect someone's wish to be at peace

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Health problems can be torture and can ruin peoples lives. It is cruel how the society expects people to suffer for decades with them. We all deserve the option of a peaceful exit. None of us asked to exist in the first place. It is perfectly understandable wanting to exit when you are suffering so much. We are all human and there is only so much we can take. I hope you find peace.

What I found is that there is no limit to life's suffering. There is no rock bottom. It can always get worse. At some point dying is a better option than living. People who never experience this level of misery will never be able to understand.