Help Things to do before an attempt

[seasonsdied]

My life will no longer be worth living in a month or so. So I've been finalising on what I need to do to make less of an impact, maybe because I've often wondered how the world would've been had I never existed. Not that it matters to me now.

Here's what I can think of in the moment -

1. Make as little social contact as possible
2. Make a list of important credentials and documents that are scheduled to be sent after some time
3. Wiping all the remaining online presence
4. Having a backup ctb plan in case first fails
5. Lock all things of value so that they might be returned to my family
6. Getting life insurance might be too late now

I also thought of writing a note or maxing out on my credit but can't really find the motivation for these.

If anyone has any suggestions regarding what else I can do to prepare then I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks
I apologise if any similar post already exists. I probably won't read or reply for some time but I appreciate if someone does provide feedback.

 

[veryjar]

there are no shoulds, if you want to put things in order before you cbt, then do so, your ways, I won't, I won't share passwords, write a note, tidy up, it won't matter once I'm gone

 

[NameOfAction]

Have fun? Do things you haven't due to social expectations and pressure to conform? Find a ctb partner? Waste all the money you have on travel and joyful bullshit?

 

[seasonsdied]

Have fun? Do things you haven't due to social expectations and pressure to conform? Find a ctb partner? Waste all the money you have on travel and joyful bullshit?

Nothing's fun. I wouldn't be here if I had anything to look forward to. I might as well do meaningless things if i have to. Just to annoy people and leave the world a worse off place than before. I hate the fact that I have to be here.
Why tf do I exist

 

[WantingOut2]

Nothing's fun. I wouldn't be here if I had anything to look forward to. I might as well do meaningless things if i have to. Just to annoy people and leave the world a worse off place than before. I hate the fact that I have to be here.
Why tf do I exist

I wish I had the guts to try some way. 'cause I don't want to be here another DAY.

 

[madwoman]

I'm trying to think of all my final to dos too. I keep getting rid of things & even though I don't have a lot of things, I keep finding more to get rid of. In case of a failure, I am trying to leave my life down to the very basics I need to survive if I do. I have no desire to do big exciting things and have been making peace with my last times doing something or what I've already done. I don't feel like doing any of the important legal papers - wills and all that jazz. I already have a typed up documents with all the important info and just letting go of things. I feel like I could die randomly and it won't matter if all my affairs aren't in order. I just feel like I'm wasting time until I do it

 

[joey2424]

I'm trying to think of all my final to dos too. I keep getting rid of things & even though I don't have a lot of things, I keep finding more to get rid of. In case of a failure, I am trying to leave my life down to the very basics I need to survive if I do. I have no desire to do big exciting things and have been making peace with my last times doing something or what I've already done. I don't feel like doing any of the important legal papers - wills and all that jazz. I already have a typed up documents with all the important info and just letting go of things. I feel like I could die randomly and it won't matter if all my affairs aren't in order. I just feel like I'm wasting time until I do it

I feel exactly the same way. I've scheduled a charity pick up so I can get rid of a bunch of stuff. So there's somewhat less for the others to do when I'm gone. I'm also behaving in a way I always do before moving - eating all the food in my freezer, going through drawers and finding things I can toss out. But I don't want it to be too weird to come back here if I survive. I started making a will but it seems you need a witness to sign it for it to be valid. And that just seems awful to have someone do at this point. I've been going through my devices and deleting things I don't want anyone to see. This profile will be the last piece the day of.

 

[madwoman]

I feel exactly the same way. I've scheduled a charity pick up so I can get rid of a bunch of stuff. So there's somewhat less for the others to do when I'm gone. I'm also behaving in a way I always do before moving - eating all the food in my freezer, going through drawers and finding things I can toss out. But I don't want it to be too weird to come back here if I survive. I started making a will but it seems you need a witness to sign it for it to be valid. And that just seems awful to have someone do at this point. I've been going through my devices and deleting things I don't want anyone to see. This profile will be the last piece the day of.

Same about acting like I'm moving - I even started saving boxes for someone to use to box up my stuff even though in my document I also provided number for clean up companies. Also yeah the whole Will needing 2 witnesses took me out, i wouldn't want to ask anyone to do that. I have an unofficial one typed up. Also been clearing out my phone and laptop too. I'm thinking about prepaying and preparing my cremation too.

 

[joey2424]

Same about acting like I'm moving - I even started saving boxes for someone to use to box up my stuff even though in my document I also provided number for clean up companies. Also yeah the whole Will needing 2 witnesses took me out, i wouldn't want to ask anyone to do that. I have an unofficial one typed up. Also been clearing out my phone and laptop too. I'm thinking about prepaying and preparing my cremation too.

Wow I also thought that I need to get some boxes so it's easier to donate my kitchen things. I also have quite a bit of unopened stuff in my pantry that I was thinking to drop for donation. I'm also thinking to put anything family related that they might want in a certain spot, so they're not wondering if they should go through everything. I have a couple things passed down from grandparents, and some boxes of photos. I wish I had gotten a will done before I became so actively suicidal. I'll look into what I should put into an unofficial one though. Preparing for my own cremation isn't something I've considered, maybe I'm too worried I'll survive.

 

[reowmeow]

Someone i know recently CTB'd, here's what they did.

Left a letter explaining their state of mind, and personal letters to people close to them
Shared a list passwords. Not all of them but mostly their banking and government passwords, to make it easier for the family
Left 1 spotify list with songs about suicide which meant alot to them, and 2 with music they just genuinely enjoyed.
Left some photos of themselves
A video with their voice (so they wouldnt forget it)
Left a ton of chat history with people that meant alot to them. (100+ pages)
Bought one final present for the family

These laid in their room on 2 USB drives, i assume for if one didnt work (tip, dont put these on your desk or something because the police might confecate them if they find them earlier than your family.)

All this really helped to make the grieving process more doable. It's still immensly hard to comprehend but in all these things i've managed to learn more about them and i've found almost all the answers of the questions i had

On the night of the suicide, they booked a hotelroom for 2 days (so the cleaning person wouldnt find them and be traumatized), and scheduled an sms to the emergancy number with "suicide, room 123, Hotel ABC"

I think they did their attempt perfectly. I am still sad about my loss, but their pain was far greater than our sadness now. Put yourselves first. If you explain yourself, and they love you, your family will understand one day.