Venting The worst part of having mental disorder is...

[favourite]

...finding out that you're not sick, just lazy as fuck, stupid as shit, and unmotivated. I have really hard time coming to terms with the simple fact that I was given every opportunity to lead a normal life and I sabotaged each one of them. Because I'm a fucking lazy ass retard.

God, accepting your own stupidity is so hard. I'd happily blame it on any mental disorder, but it's time to face the truth. It was all my fault, always has been.

 

[timeisnigh]

Fpbp

 

[GreenTree]

Ability to love.

 

[Blueman]

...finding out that you're not sick, just lazy as fuck, stupid as shit, and unmotivated. I have really hard time coming to terms with the simple fact that I was given every opportunity to lead a normal life and I sabotaged each one of them. Because I'm a fucking lazy ass retard.

God, accepting your own stupidity is so hard. I'd happily blame it on any mental disorder, but it's time to face the truth. It was all my fault, always has been.

Yep I've done lots of stupid things in my life but it always seemed to be charmed and I've carried on having a normal happy life.

Then make a ridiculous decision at 54 so at 55 I've run out of luck and totally my own fault. Who said we get wiser with age

 

[BPD Barbie]

The stigma that comes with it.

 

[Girobatol]

Worst are the meds, antipsychotics and so on....

 

[Homecoming]

Coping within physical limitations, restrictions, limitations

 

[ladolcemorte]

Not being taken as seriously as someone with a physical illness, even within the healthcare system. During one hospital stay, I spent time both in the psych ward and on a "medical floor" for a physical health issue. (Note the terminology itself: as if to imply that psychiatric conditions are not "medical"). There was a MARKED difference in how I was treated in the two places. In the "medical" ward, the nurses were kind and compassionate. They let me have orange juice with my pills and gave me digestive cookies before bed. The Drs asked how I was as if they actually might care about the answer. In the psych ward, the nurses were snarky and even outright rude on occasion, and the Drs were full of lectures and became frustrated at me if I didn't respond the way they wanted. They even threatened to administer ECT against my will.

Out in the world it is more of the same. Even with the most supportive friend I have, there is an undercurrent of disbelief, as if I am just not trying hard enough. A few friends have actually SAID that they thought I was engaging in self pity and seeking attention. Many others didn't need to say it. These people are no longer in my life, either because they walked away, or I cut them out.

Again, for contrast, when I told people that I had received a presumptive diagnosis of MS, they were very caring and compassionate. The irony is, at this point anyway, my mental health conditions have caused far more agony than the MS. (The MS has more agony in store, I'm sure, but at least people will believe it is real)