Icunurse
Member
- May 20, 2020
- 18
I'm sorry this will be a rambling mess
For me one of the biggest issues is tolerating the expected pain or being brave enough to take the leap! But when I consider it, I have come across so many failed attempts, and then attempts that went on to die and the reality is that no one talked about pain. I first met a lady who drank anti freeze and was found in her car- survived and recovered fully,
Numerous drug overdoses, tends to always be with anti depressants or pain meds or cocktail of both, generally sleepy and then very confused that improves. 1x paracetamol only overdose was the most strange thing I've witnessed, a gentleman took 30 paracetamol at home, the next evening his work colleagues went round to check if ok- he was lucid enough to tell them he had overdosed but was slightly muddled ( no pain), it had been over 24 hours and the parvolex was administered quiet late, he came for monitoring and whilst was confused appeared calm ( he was over 55 so liver centres said no) over a shift he became confused and then unconscious, was tubes but subsequently died - never seemed in pain. Alcohol seems an ok death also if you can get enough into you.. one drug overdose of cardiac meds - huge digoxin and ramipril lead to a gentleman being monitored to him going into cardiac arrest ( that was def painful pre attest).. numerous Harding's ( some successful others not)... once had a arterial cutter but she generally was so traumatised by living that she didn't comment... so basically My random thoughts are that I've actually seen the consequences so why when I'm feeling so unbearably sad can I not want to be here but scared to do it?? I think maybe seeing the aftermath of failing scares me??
hope this isn't too confusing
For me one of the biggest issues is tolerating the expected pain or being brave enough to take the leap! But when I consider it, I have come across so many failed attempts, and then attempts that went on to die and the reality is that no one talked about pain. I first met a lady who drank anti freeze and was found in her car- survived and recovered fully,
Numerous drug overdoses, tends to always be with anti depressants or pain meds or cocktail of both, generally sleepy and then very confused that improves. 1x paracetamol only overdose was the most strange thing I've witnessed, a gentleman took 30 paracetamol at home, the next evening his work colleagues went round to check if ok- he was lucid enough to tell them he had overdosed but was slightly muddled ( no pain), it had been over 24 hours and the parvolex was administered quiet late, he came for monitoring and whilst was confused appeared calm ( he was over 55 so liver centres said no) over a shift he became confused and then unconscious, was tubes but subsequently died - never seemed in pain. Alcohol seems an ok death also if you can get enough into you.. one drug overdose of cardiac meds - huge digoxin and ramipril lead to a gentleman being monitored to him going into cardiac arrest ( that was def painful pre attest).. numerous Harding's ( some successful others not)... once had a arterial cutter but she generally was so traumatised by living that she didn't comment... so basically My random thoughts are that I've actually seen the consequences so why when I'm feeling so unbearably sad can I not want to be here but scared to do it?? I think maybe seeing the aftermath of failing scares me??
hope this isn't too confusing
