As a last desperate attempt to go through the motions of "getting help before it's too late" I called a suicide hotline. It took a lot for me to pluck up the courage and honestly, I don't know what I was expecting or hoping for - some kindness? Understanding? Comfort? Who fucking knows. What I got has quite literally been the straw to break the camels back and all I can say is that I can't understand why such a useless service is recommended.
I was greeted by a man who was very obviously mentally checked out - a great deal of "hmm" and "ahh?". He asked why I was calling and I explained my situation, every response was a variation of "and how does that make you feel?". The longer I spoke the more awkward and uncomfortable I became, the more evident it was that I was clearly an inconvenience to him. To put it as plainly as I can, this guy was very obviously unbothered and was just mindlessly asking me open ended questions, anything to get him to his lunch break I suppose.
After an agonising pause, I said "I'm going to go now. Bye.", and he replied "ok, bye." That was that.
What the fuck.
I was greeted by a man who was very obviously mentally checked out - a great deal of "hmm" and "ahh?". He asked why I was calling and I explained my situation, every response was a variation of "and how does that make you feel?". The longer I spoke the more awkward and uncomfortable I became, the more evident it was that I was clearly an inconvenience to him. To put it as plainly as I can, this guy was very obviously unbothered and was just mindlessly asking me open ended questions, anything to get him to his lunch break I suppose.
After an agonising pause, I said "I'm going to go now. Bye.", and he replied "ok, bye." That was that.
What the fuck.
