Venting Stupidly tried to give myself sepsis

[otomedissection]

I guess this relates with trying to CTB, but I figured out that I had a UTI from the home test strips and just kind of ignored it. Partially because I don't really care if I live or die at any given time, but also because I don't have the time to go to a doctor, go to a pharmacy, etc. with my work schedule and other shit I have going on (spravato treatments, which I can't drive after, etc.) I wasn't really having symptoms so I figured if it clears on its own that's fine, but if not, maybe I'll get sepsis and it'll kill me.

Anyway, it's been a little over a week since then and I definitely have at least a kidney infection now. It hurts like hell everywhere but thankfully (or unthankfully) my mom found out and made me go get antibiotics. It's been helping with the pain but I also can't help but wonder if I could have died if I just held on for a bit longer. Everything I read says that sepsis is agonizing, and yeah, the pain was a lot, but I also can't help but wonder if I missed an opportunity for a way out if I was able to keep it under wraps and suck it up.

 

[dragonofenvy]

Even if you tried to tough it out you would've been in for a torturous hospital stay and likely would've been cured of it anyways and would have to live out the rest of your days with post-sepsis syndrome. I think this outcome was for the best. You deserve a much more peaceful way to go than that.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I had a UTI (confirmed by lab urinalysis)for over a year and didn't get treatment hoping I would eventually die from sepsis too, but I didnt. It wasn't painful (I've had those kind before). This one made my pee smell like bandaids. I know, weird. I finally took antibiotics and it cleared up.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Someone I knew went into septic shock after sepsis caused by a UTI, and it still didn't kill them. No, there would be no "keeping it under wraps" while living with your mom.