Venting Pillphobia

[lostinthecha0s]

Struggling with depression and adhd with pillphobia sucks. Every appointment with my psychiatrist he wants to add a new pill. I'm on 3 right now, adding a 4th and it makes me sick. I can't even watch actors take pills on tv without wanting to puke. Every evening I feel so sick just thinking about having to take my meds. It's so stupid my brain requires so much external help to keep it going in the world, and if I don't take them, I'll rot away to nothing or plan my CTB. It's gods sick joke on his imperfect humans.

It's so hard being broken, nothing feels like it'll put the pieces together.

 

[Fadenself00_]

Are they all helping? 4 drugs at the same time sounds like possibly being overprescribed stuff.. Can you get a second opinion? And do you actually notice them helping you and making things better?
(Not to be insensitive, but judging by you very recently having signed up for this site, I would have my doubts)

 

[lostinthecha0s]

4 drugs at the same time sounds like possibly being overprescribed stuff.. Can you get a second opinion?

My boyfriend is a pharmacist and also struggles with depression/ anxiety so he's been working on me through it. They're all for different things. I'm on vilazadone for my depression, ondansetron to help with the nausea from the vilazadone, Abilify as a mood stabilizer, and now adderall xr for my adhd. The goal is to go off the abilify once my mood has regulated.

And do you actually notice them helping you and making things better?

They are helping, as far as my base line depression goes it's gone from CTB thoughts 24/7 morning to night to CTB thoughts maybe half the time but still struggling with feeling like my existence is pointless in the mortal realm has been a struggle I've faced since I was a pre teen so I'm just sick of it.

(Not to be insensitive, but judging by you very recently having signed up for this site, I would have my doubts)

Not insensitive at all. As the title states I have pillphobia and i hate having to take pills at all so any amount would be overperscibed for me personally. My last provider did a similar cocktail about 7 years ago when I was really bad prior so I don't doubt that this is what is probably best for my amalgamation of symptoms but still struggling day to day Sucks.

 

[ctb_warrior]

My boyfriend is a pharmacist and also struggles with depression/ anxiety so he's been working on me through it. They're all for different things. I'm on vilazadone for my depression, ondansetron to help with the nausea from the vilazadone, Abilify as a mood stabilizer, and now adderall xr for my adhd. The goal is to go off the abilify once my mood has regulated.


They are helping, as far as my base line depression goes it's gone from CTB thoughts 24/7 morning to night to CTB thoughts maybe half the time but still struggling with feeling like my existence is pointless in the mortal realm has been a struggle I've faced since I was a pre teen so I'm just sick of it.


Not insensitive at all. As the title states I have pillphobia and i hate having to take pills at all so any amount would be overperscibed for me personally. My last provider did a similar cocktail about 7 years ago when I was really bad prior so I don't doubt that this is what is probably best for my amalgamation of symptoms but still struggling day to day Sucks.

Abilify = aripiprazole. It's a really good medicine. You should be fine soon.. only the pillphobia is something that needs to be corrected. An NLP practitioner can help you with that..i think swish pattern is used for phobia.

 

[lostinthecha0s]

Abilify = aripiprazole. It's a really good medicine. You should be fine soon.. only the pillphobia is something that needs to be corrected. An NLP practitioner can help you with that..i think swish pattern is used for phobia.

I'll have to look into swish.

Thinking about taking pills sends me into anxious sweats and seeing people on tv taking them makes me sick. It really adds an unnecessary hurdle for me maintaining my mental health :/

 

[ctb_warrior]

I'll have to look into swish.

Thinking about taking pills sends me into anxious sweats and seeing people on tv taking them makes me sick. It really adds an unnecessary hurdle for me maintaining my mental health :/

I can imagine that because I too have pillphobia to some extent. Because I have used OD many times for CTB, so whenever that memory gets triggered I feel pukish on the thought of having pill in my mouth.

 

[Fadenself00_]

t's a really good medicine

That can't be stated that broadly. People have suffered horribly from it

 

[ctb_warrior]

That can't be stated that broadly. People have suffered horribly from it

Really? Three people including myself at my home are having it. I don't need it though. Talking about the other two, they were in a very bad state, due to abilify they became normal and are able to live a normal life. They had schizophrenia btw

 

[Fadenself00_]

Really? Three people including myself at my home are having it. I don't need it though. Talking about the other two, they were in a very bad state, due to abilify they became normal and are able to live a normal life. They had schizophrenia btw

There is a whole underground of people having been horrifically damaged by the neuropsychiatric side effects of these drugs. I am affected myself as well (not Abilify though), and you can find numerous reports here on SaSu, as well as on forums like r/Antipsychiatry, or - and this may be a better/more clean/less extremist source of information - the comment sections of psychiatry YouTubers (who are shrinks themselves) like Dr. Josef/taperclinic

 

[ctb_warrior]

There is a whole underground of people having been horrifically damaged by the neuropsychiatric side effects of these drugs. I am affected myself as well (not Abilify though), and you can find numerous reports here on SaSu, as well as on forums like r/Antipsychiatry, or - and this may be a better/more clean/less extremist source of information - the comment sections of psychiatry YouTubers (who are shrinks themselves) like Dr. Josef/taperclinic

Yeah, that i agree 100% . Even I'm affected by it. I left my medicine for one month and the effects were horrible. These medicines have made me dependent on them. I know they have to be gradually taken off but basically they have changed my neuro chemistry. On one hand, they are taking care of basic functioning on the other, they are also making my neuro chemistry dependent on them to create all those hormones. And I'm aware of what these medicines do to people in long term.