SN apparently 'delivered' early in the UK but hasn't arrived

[devin44]

I live with my parents and they know I'm really really struggling and in a suicidal place, so it's possible that they would have taken it but unlikely they wouldn't have mentioned it. The tracking number just says 'delivered United Kingdom' rather than my address. The police haven't been in touch as far as I'm aware, although the consultant has moved my appointment forward to today with some urgency - I wonder if that could've been flagged up to the MH team? Having a bit of a hellish time now, I just want to go.

 

[Manaaja]

I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope it's all just a false alarm. It's good that you got SN, but living with your parents doesn't sound good for the plan. What if your parents found you before the SN took effect? For example, if you took SN and started to vomit, your parents would be alerted. Or if the SN didn't work for some reason and your parents found you unconscious but not dead. If your parents went to a vacation, or to a summer cottage, or to visit a relative, something that would make them be away for a week, that would be the time to buy and take SN. I'd suggest moving out, but of course if you're in a very bad situation already, it's hard to move out. I hope your plan with SN succeeds. You might want to rent a hotel or motel room though, if you have enough money.

I don't know if that means that it has just arrived somewhere in the UK, but let's hope so. Though if your parents see the packet, it's good to have an explanation. Manga or anime dvds or something. Or gamer bathwater. That would resemble SN container's shape.

While people may want to see your body be alive, if you'd rather have your body be dead, it should be your and only your decision. Your body, your choice. You didn't ask to be born. You should have the right to go back.

I hope all is just false alarm and that all goes well.

 

[Hemlock]

I'm really really struggling and in a suicidal place

Sorry to hear that things are difficult for you.

it's possible that they would have taken it but unlikely they wouldn't have mentioned it.

If I were in your situation, I would wonder whether or not my parents had taken the package, too.

Clearly, the whereabouts of the package are unknown to you.

Perhaps customs intercepted it. Or the delivery company (presumably Royal Mail was involved somewhere once/if the package arrived in the UK) could have informed the police.

Maybe it was delivered to a neighbour – either by mistake, or the courier might have thought there was no-one at home when attempting delivery, so could have left it with a neighbour.

The package could have even been delivered to a 'safe place' and subsequently been stolen, but I think that this is less likely.

If I had ordered SN and my package was showing online as having been delivered but hadn't arrived, I'd try not to worry about it too much and just see what happens. I definitely wouldn't ask my parents or neighbours if they knew anything about any missing package, as this could arouse suspicion.

the consultant has moved my appointment forward to today with some urgency

I hope your appointment today goes as well as it can.

 

[rosie93]

Maybe it's already in UK but has to be delivered yet to your location?

 

[devin44]

Update: my parents had received it & because it was so early I had no chance to brief them that it was something else. They were remarkably compassionate and understanding about it, even though it must've scared the bejesus out of them and they've of course disposed of it. They'd also found some rope in my wardrobe and near-empty alcohol bottles, so think I'm going to be hospitalised now. Wish me luck...

 

[Manaaja]

Update: my parents had received it & because it was so early I had no chance to brief them that it was something else. They were remarkably compassionate and understanding about it, even though it must've scared the bejesus out of them and they've of course disposed of it. They'd also found some rope in my wardrobe and near-empty alcohol bottles, so think I'm going to be hospitalised now. Wish me luck...

I'm so sorry. That's horrible. I don't think it's legal for them to throw your SN away. So they committed a crime by throwing it away.

I hope they won't thought jail you. One of my stupid relatives saw my ropes and I told her that it's for art and she believed. Maybe you could start a chemistry hobby and claim it was for your hobby. Or start making weird art and claim that the rope was for art. Neo-neo-ropernism or something. Whatever you do, deny everything and pretend that suicide is horrible and you could never do it. Pretend to hate suicide. Modern hospitals are just political jails for "wrong-minded". I really hope you can avoid it. Do everything in your power to avoid it.

 

[Hemlock]

Update: my parents had received it & because it was so early I had no chance to brief them that it was something else. They were remarkably compassionate and understanding about it, even though it must've scared the bejesus out of them and they've of course disposed of it. They'd also found some rope in my wardrobe and near-empty alcohol bottles, so think I'm going to be hospitalised now. Wish me luck...

Best wishes for the future. It's reassuring to hear that your parents did what they did out of compassion, though I would probably feel anxious were I in your situation. Please try and stay strong. I hope that the local mental health services in your area are good. If you are sectioned under the Mental Health Act 1983, the information at https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/legal-rights/sectioning/overview/ may be useful to you.