Sign from "God" just came that I need to CTB.

[BeautifulMosaics]

Family life has imploded of sorts. I know I'm the problem though she won't say it. I'm holding back my sister too. It's not fair. I've hung around longer than I should have. By devine intervention, I ordered my SN and then 5 minutes later I heard the news. This is "God" telling me I need to ctb and get out the way. Just existing..

Relate?

 

[Snake of Eden]

What news/sign did you get? I dont understand

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

I ordered the SN, then 5 minutes later I heard bad news about my sister. My mother feels like a failure but I know she is feeling negative about my sister's situation because of me, though she won't say it. My sister's problem proves she was a "failure of a mother" but it's really me that makes her think that.. I'm trying to be vague to protect my identity.

Also I finally went to college last year after years of hikikomorism but covid left me isolated and I dropped out. The message was sink or swim - and I don't have the energy to swim.

Sorry for being vague, I appreciate your interest. It feels nice to talk when you know someone out there is listening.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I ordered the SN, then 5 minutes later I heard bad news about my sister. My mother feels like a failure but I know she is feeling negative about my sister's situation because of me, though she won't say it. My sister's problem proves she was a "failure of a mother" but it's really me that makes her think that.. I'm trying to be vague to protect my identity.

Ok. I still dont understand how do you consider this as a sign from god. Regardless, i hope you find peace and end of suffering you long for dead or alive

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

Ok. I still dont understand how do you consider this as a sign from god. Regardless, i hope you find peace and end of suffering you long for dead or alive

Imagine you order the means to die, and then a situation creeps up 5 minutes later that shows how your presence in your family is a problem.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Imagine you order the means to die, and then a situation creeps up 5 minutes later that shows how your pressence in your family is a problem.

I get situations like that all the time where I feel it is a confirmation that I should ctb. I cant overcome my fears of death however. I have a feeling that maybe part of my soul contract is to commit suicide but I need something stronger than an occurrence that happened to hint at the source of my desire to ctb

 

[whywere]

Hello! I feel sorry for you and school, it is tough. Now I was at the same firm for 29.5 years and got laid off because of covid. That was last year and I have run through all of my unemployment benefits and the very little savings I have is being eaten up as I desperately look for a position.

I mention me, NOT to take away from your situation but that I am like a close friend to you, along with so many others here.

You have all the qualities that a great person needs, you are kind, thoughtful, smart and yes, driven. How and or why driven? You do not want to stand in the way of your sister or be a determent to her.

Also you do not want to hurt your mother and that shows why you are such a kind and kindred soul.

You have a lot going for you in the future, my life somewhat mirrors yours and I have decades and decades of bumping around this planet, falling down, picking up, dusting off and going again, that YOU are awesome.

Awesome? YES!!!! You, there in again have the deep down ability to be kind, think of the next person, and want the best for others. Intelligent? YES!
It takes a person with high intelligence and a deep understanding of love, caring and kindness to be able to think of others before one's self. YOU hit the bulls eye 100% on this, mark on!

Please take the time to relax, reconnect with everyone and be kind to yourself. YOU deserve it. You are the type of person this world needs more of.

Have a great upcoming weekend, enjoy lots of good food and beverages and a beautiful sunrise and sunset.

My best to you,

Walter

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

Hello! I feel sorry for you and school, it is tough. Now I was at the same firm for 29.5 years and got laid off because of covid. That was last year and I have run through all of my unemployment benefits and the very little savings I have is being eaten up as I desperately look for a position.

I mention me, NOT to take away from your situation but that I am like a close friend to you, along with so many others here.

You have all the qualities that a great person needs, you are kind, thoughtful, smart and yes, driven. How and or why driven? You do not want to stand in the way of your sister or be a determent to her.

Also you do not want to hurt your mother and that shows why you are such a kind and kindred soul.

You have a lot going for you in the future, my life somewhat mirrors yours and I have decades and decades of bumping around this planet, falling down, picking up, dusting off and going again, that YOU are awesome.

Awesome? YES!!!! You, there in again have the deep down ability to be kind, think of the next person, and want the best for others. Intelligent? YES!
It takes a person with high intelligence and a deep understanding of love, caring and kindness to be able to think of others before one's self. YOU hit the bulls eye 100% on this, mark on!

Please take the time to relax, reconnect with everyone and be kind to yourself. YOU deserve it. You are the type of person this world needs more of.

Have a great upcoming weekend, enjoy lots of good food and beverages and a beautiful sunrise and sunset.

My best to you,

Walter

Oh Walter, this is so encouraging and it's honestly one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me. It is so nice to have positive words spoken towards you. A drop of water on a seed of hope.

Thank you, truly. You are one of those people the world needs more of. I might not have the strength for myself but I will pass on your positivity and encouragement; but don't think yours towards me have been unfruitful. Thank you :)

 

[FuneralCry]

Well, I do not believe in God or any religion, but I feel like this life has been giving me signs for a long time that I need to ctb. Things just keep going wrong. I know that I am not meant for this world. I have already died inside in a way. I'm sorry you are suffering, I hope you find the peace you are looking for.