Venting Severe Hypochondria/Anxiety contributing to suicidal thoughts

[itssasssh144]

I've had these issues since I was very young, and my hypochondria is through the roof now. I don't eat many types of foods because I believe I will fall ill, I don't eat well enough because it makes me nauseous, I sweat and feel tired everyday and panic over the fact that I eat too little. The COVID situation is making this much worse as I fear any sort of illness greatly. Anytime I sweat or feel abnormally warm I begin to panic and overthink symptoms like that.

Everyday I feel hot or cold, very nauseous, clammy, tired, completely restless, sore, light headed and dizzy.. etc. The symptoms or whatever, are really extreme. Sometimes I am left shaking on my bed praying to fall asleep to avoid everything.

I feel like I cannot live with such thoughts and fears and physical reactions/outcomes my body experiences. I have lost 16 kilos in one month, and I'm underweight. I don't know what to do at this stage, I cannot sleep every night because of the same things happening over and over again. I can't be left alone and I always bother people and call them due to the anxiety.

I feel as if I am much happier than I was, after depressing times. But now it's back to square one, instead of depression it's extreme anxiety. It's either one or the other. A battle I simply cannot win.

I don't know what to do, but I want this to end. I cannot experience this day by day. If there's anyone else with severe hypochondria drop down a few words about your experiences or so.

If this continues long enough I will plan my exit. And I have one in mind. God forbid.

 

[selfhater]

i'm sorry u going thru that:( i didn't get diagnose and idk if i have that but i panic everyday becuz of my physical symptoms and it only gets worse and i start having obsessions and whenever the symptoms get better i notice my panic gets better?? idk i never had this and i never cared about physically symptoms or illnesses actually but i got it for 6 or 5 months:(( not all illnesses gives me panic only some but it's unbelievably unbearable i wanna stop it

 

[terry_a_davis]

16 kg in 1 month op? That would mean you basically hadn't eaten for 1 month? Have you seen a doctor about your anxiety/depression?

 

[itssasssh144]

16 kg in 1 month op? That would mean you basically hadn't eaten for 1 month? Have you seen a doctor about your anxiety/depression?

I did indeed. I was told to have more fun in life, which would help my depression and anxiety. I was discharged from the mental health service twice. It wasn't of any use, trying therapy and all that.