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lastappleonearth

lastappleonearth

Возвращайся
Jun 11, 2026
457
Man idk, everyone who surrounds me seems to have some kind of disdain for me or idk how else to explain. Genuinely no one is nice or kind, I don't understand how that's possible. Im going to visit my only friend early next week and we just talked over the phone and he was just annoyed with me for some reason. He also told me he wants me to buy him stuff and I know it was said kind of jokingly, but I still think it's weird. He always jokes abt me just being shit I guess and I get those are jokes, but it's tiring. I just want to have a normal conversation, I don't want to be constantly in defend mode, I just want sb to be normal with me. I don't like this back and forth with sarcastic remarks and dumb jokes, it's rlly frustrating. It's not like people have never been nice to me, but it's sure been a while. I want sb, with whom I can feel comfortable and relaxed. What's the point if I need to take Xanax in order to relax around certain people.
I know I don't always succeed, but I genuinely try to be kind and nice to other people, why can't they give me the same courtesy
 
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ctb_warrior

ctb_warrior

I wish to CTB asap
Feb 11, 2024
823
Man idk, everyone who surrounds me seems to have some kind of disdain for me or idk how else to explain. Genuinely no one is nice or kind, I don't understand how that's possible. Im going to visit my only friend early next week and we just talked over the phone and he was just annoyed with me for some reason. He also told me he wants me to buy him stuff and I know it was said kind of jokingly, but I still think it's weird. He always jokes abt me just being shit I guess and I get those are jokes, but it's tiring. I just want to have a normal conversation, I don't want to be constantly in defend mode, I just want sb to be normal with me. I don't like this back and forth with sarcastic remarks and dumb jokes, it's rlly frustrating. It's not like people have never been nice to me, but it's sure been a while. I want sb, with whom I can feel comfortable and relaxed. What's the point if I need to take Xanax in order to relax around certain people.
I know I don't always succeed, but I genuinely try to be kind and nice to other people, why can't they give me the same courtesy
You don't need to be kind to anyone. You don't need to depend on anyone. You don't need to chase people.
Just be bold. Love yourself. People are like dogs. When you've a bone, they'll come to you wagging their tail. When you no longer have a bone, they'll bark at you.
Although practically, dogs are better than humans😂 once you give them a bone, they'll stay loyal with you for life and when the time comes they'll sacrifice their life for you.

But humans they are so selfish, if you burn all your blood for them, they'll still not be grateful for your help.

It's the game of demand and supply. If You are in demand, but available abundantly, your value will go down

If you are in demand, but you are not available to them easily, your value will go up.

And when you have an illness, you are a liability to them because they have nothing to gain from you..

A handful few humans with a good heart may help you but rest all others will run away from you.
 
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Mgelanie

Mgelanie

Member
Mar 17, 2026
79
Man idk, everyone who surrounds me seems to have some kind of disdain for me or idk how else to explain. Genuinely no one is nice or kind, I don't understand how that's possible. Im going to visit my only friend early next week and we just talked over the phone and he was just annoyed with me for some reason. He also told me he wants me to buy him stuff and I know it was said kind of jokingly, but I still think it's weird. He always jokes abt me just being shit I guess and I get those are jokes, but it's tiring. I just want to have a normal conversation, I don't want to be constantly in defend mode, I just want sb to be normal with me. I don't like this back and forth with sarcastic remarks and dumb jokes, it's rlly frustrating. It's not like people have never been nice to me, but it's sure been a while. I want sb, with whom I can feel comfortable and relaxed. What's the point if I need to take Xanax in order to relax around certain people.
I know I don't always succeed, but I genuinely try to be kind and nice to other people, why can't they give me the same courtesy
Their "jokes" are what they actually think of you. don't let them put you down
 
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lastappleonearth

lastappleonearth

Возвращайся
Jun 11, 2026
457
Their "jokes" are what they actually think of you. don't let them put you down
Yeah, you are probably right, thank you. I know it sounds cliche, but the world fr needs more kindness
 
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hdead

Mage
Jun 2, 2026
560
Yeah, you are probably right, thank you. I know it sounds cliche, but the world fr needs more kindness
You're right. The world could use a lot more kindness. I do however believe that there are still kind people out there. It's just a matter of finding them. You're in the right place, here. I believe.

When I got on this forum back in June I was in all states. I found myself lonely and going mad over the the idea that I'd be committing soon. I digged through the methods, only looking for practical information and guides. After becoming more active however, I started to feel a little less alone. It's a given that the internet and forums are no substitution for real-life community, but it does help take a step in the right direction. Now, almost three months after having joined, I have met several people on here that have stayed in touch with me through text and phone/video-call and it's helped me to see that we're definitely not alone in this position. At the very least we're just spread out.

If you ever feel the need to talk to somebody, hear an understanding voice and feel the need to be heard for a little - feel free to reach out. I know that there's people on here that would be willing to do the same. Who knows, you might be surprised and find somebody that enjoys your company just for who you are.

Take care buddy.
 
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hughmun9

hughmun9

Experienced
Feb 22, 2023
205
I just want to have a normal conversation, I don't want to be constantly in defend mode, I just want sb to be normal with me. I don't like this back and forth with sarcastic remarks and dumb jokes
I know what you mean. Covert aggression is so common nowadays and is often disguised through silly remarks and jokes. What can be confusing is that the same type of jokes with the right people can feel refreshing and energising. But you can tell when someone is making a dig at you and secretly wants to take you down vs when someone is playfully teasing expecting you to return it, being disappointed when you don't and adjusting their behaviour accordingly.

I also yearn for a safe space like that with a few people. I don't expect for the whole world to change, heck some part of me even likes the 'danger', if the world was fully safe that might actually get a bit boring. But it gets exhausting when danger is all you ever experience. It'd be nice to have a safe place to recharge at least.
 
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lastappleonearth

lastappleonearth

Возвращайся
Jun 11, 2026
457
You're right. The world could use a lot more kindness. I do however believe that there are still kind people out there. It's just a matter of finding them. You're in the right place, here. I believe.

When I got on this forum back in June I was in all states. I found myself lonely and going mad over the the idea that I'd be committing soon. I digged through the methods, only looking for practical information and guides. After becoming more active however, I started to feel a little less alone. It's a given that the internet and forums are no substitution for real-life community, but it does help take a step in the right direction. Now, almost three months after having joined, I have met several people on here that have stayed in touch with me through text and phone/video-call and it's helped me to see that we're definitely not alone in this position. At the very least we're just spread out.

If you ever feel the need to talk to somebody, hear an understanding voice and feel the need to be heard for a little - feel free to reach out. I know that there's people on here that would be willing to do the same. Who knows, you might be surprised and find somebody that enjoys your company just for who you are.

Take care buddy.
I agree, it makes you feel a little less one, which is definitely a good thing. I think there are only a few things worse than bearing all your pain and suffering completely alone, without anyone willing to even listen to you. I do like this forum, there is way less toxicity here than on other platforms I feel like
If you ever feel the need to talk to somebody, hear an understanding voice and feel the need to be heard for a little - feel free to reach out. I know that there's people on here that would be willing to do the same. Who knows, you might be surprised and find somebody that enjoys your company just for who you are.

Take care buddy.
Thank you, I appreciate it, I will come back to it sooner or later (prob sooner).
You take care as well
I know what you mean. Covert aggression is so common nowadays and is often disguised through silly remarks and jokes. What can be confusing is that the same type of jokes with the right people can feel refreshing and energising. But you can tell when someone is making a dig at you and secretly wants to take you down vs when someone is playfully teasing expecting you to return it, being disappointed when you don't and adjusting their behaviour accordingly.

I also yearn for a safe space like that with a few people. I don't expect for the whole world to change, heck some part of me even likes the 'danger', if the world was fully safe that might actually get a bit boring. But it gets exhausting when danger is all you ever experience. It'd be nice to have a safe place to recharge at least.
That's so true, idk why this has become so common, mby it always was. It just sucks, when all people around you are like this, always some sarcastic remarks or "jokes". It's exhausting, when you don't have people, around whom you can let your guard down and relax
 
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valar_morghulis21

All men must die.
Jul 17, 2026
147
I was on the same boat, to the point I'd need to do drugs to be around certain people. Now I cut them off and my life is significantly more at peace. The way people treat you is more of a reflection of themselves and it got nothing to do you whatsoever. Some people never leave their hometown or make new friends, so it doesn't matter how amazing and kind you are, they will never accept you. Also lots of them are transactional and just use others for free labour. Hope someday you'll find some solid friends!
 
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lastappleonearth

lastappleonearth

Возвращайся
Jun 11, 2026
457
I was on the same boat, to the point I'd need to do drugs to be around certain people. Now I cut them off and my life is significantly more at peace. The way people treat you is more of a reflection of themselves and it got nothing to do you whatsoever. Some people never leave their hometown or make new friends, so it doesn't matter how amazing and kind you are, they will never accept you. Also lots of them are transactional and just use others for free labour. Hope someday you'll find some solid friends!
True, sometimes it's best to cut certain people off, tho it's difficult, if you just end up alone in the end. I'm sorry you had to resort to drugs in order to interact with certain ppl, I do the same unfortunately. Thank you for the kind words
 
suicidalalcoholic

suicidalalcoholic

Member
Aug 4, 2026
18
Surround yourself with better people. The negativity is not worth it. Sure these people can be good people in many others but a single drop of water can erode a rock over time. Remarks like that are not worth tolerating and you really should just distance yourself and try to find likeminded people
 
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lastappleonearth

lastappleonearth

Возвращайся
Jun 11, 2026
457
Surround yourself with better people. The negativity is not worth it. Sure these people can be good people in many others but a single drop of water can erode a rock over time. Remarks like that are not worth tolerating and you really should just distance yourself and try to find likeminded people
Yeah I know you're right. Idk why, but I guess I've never really found likeminded people so far
 

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