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yourdemolitionlover

yourdemolitionlover

New Member
Sep 9, 2025
1
Hi, all. First post, forgive me if I don't know the site etiquette. I'm still learning. Kind of just introducing myself by venting into the void. I'm currently unmedicated and you'll see why.

Both of my idiot depressed parents decided to have me and obviously I got double the depression and my sibling got none. I have severe treatment resistant depression and have been hospitalized twice as a teenager over it, I'm 21 now.

I've been on 12 different oral antidepressants and nothing has worked. I'm awaiting alternative treatment via nasal spray but that's gonna take months to find availability and THEN I have to be observed for 2 hours twice a week, taking time away from my 2 jobs and schooling. My psychiatrist is a money seeking pill pusher who seeks to keep me on various classes of antidepressants instead of just admitting they don't work for me.

I have plenty of other unsolvable problems (chronic physical illness, financial, friends), but this is the biggest one because the culmination of everything has stripped me off my hope.

I attempted once before about 7 or 8 years ago, but that was pitiful and would never have worked.

Yeah maybe 4 people would miss me but I know they would get over it pretty soon. I've never been the first choice so they all would just flock back to their people once I'm dead.

I don't plan on making a will because I have nothing of value and don't care what happens when I'm gone.

If you've read this far, thanks for listening.
 
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MyShadow

MyShadow

Torn between fixing and ending my life
Aug 27, 2025
206
From someone who is in a similar situation medically, I empathize. I've given up on medication and have found therapy to be useless.

I hope you find the peace you seek.
 
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Cry Baby <3

Cry Baby <3

Member
May 16, 2025
8
I get you, I'm also off my meds because I can't afford them anymore, and I've noticed that many, if not most, psychiatrists are pill pushers, unfortunately. Its like their pride makes them physically unable to admit that some patients are lost causes
 
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T

TBONTB

Warlock
May 31, 2025
760
Welcome and I hope you find some support here.

You are fine here in terms of etiquette. There is a "rules" thread you can read through to get aquainted with dos and donts
 
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