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pieceoffox

pieceoffox

Member
Mar 12, 2026
41
I don't know what to think. On one hand, I'm glad I finally understand why my life turned out the way it did. On the other, the realization that I have a chronic, incurable illness plunges me into deep despair. I'll have to take medication for the rest of my life, and the best I can hope for is remission - and even that depends on finding a truly effective treatment.

I've realized that for the past year and a half, I've been in a state of bipolar depression, and honestly, I see no end to it.

I don't know exactly what is keeping me from suicide right now. It's probably just curiosity - wondering what happens next - and the realization that things could be much worse.

I see no point in life and no future for myself; this drains me of any motivation to strive for anything.
 
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dragonofenvy

dragonofenvy

Warlock
Oct 8, 2023
783
I don't know what to think. On one hand, I'm glad I finally understand why my life turned out the way it did. On the other, the realization that I have a chronic, incurable illness plunges me into deep despair.
I have recently been in a similar situation as you, though in my case it was for C-PTSD & PDD. I had never realized just how much it affected me until hearing about it. I was hopeless, at first. Then after a while, I decided that, as long as I am getting treatment, we should try to tackle it. That shift in mindset for me quelled most (not all!) of the despair I had about it.

For now, I too do not strive for anything. That's okay. I too don't look into the future, beyond my next session anyways. CTB'ing is an option, but until that time comes, might as well make the present moment more bearable.

I felt a similar despair that you did. I still do sometimes. But the symptoms will get better once you've decided to tackle the problem. All you have to do is show up to the sessions anyways, just like I do. Like I said, might as well make the present moment better until the time comes.

I hope this helped.
 
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pieceoffox

pieceoffox

Member
Mar 12, 2026
41
I have recently been in a similar situation as you, though in my case it was for C-PTSD & PDD. I had never realized just how much it affected me until hearing about it. I was hopeless, at first. Then after a while, I decided that, as long as I am getting treatment, we should try to tackle it. That shift in mindset for me quelled most (not all!) of the despair I had about it.

For now, I too do not strive for anything. That's okay. I too don't look into the future, beyond my next session anyways. CTB'ing is an option, but until that time comes, might as well make the present moment more bearable.

I felt a similar despair that you did. I still do sometimes. But the symptoms will get better once you've decided to tackle the problem. All you have to do is show up to the sessions anyways, just like I do. Like I said, might as well make the present moment better until the time comes.

I hope this helped.
I was very anxious leading up to my recent appointment with the psychiatrist, as I was waiting for a definitive diagnosis (the doctor already suspected bipolar disorder). The uncertainty was incredibly draining. It has been a day since the appointment, and I still feel very strange. Signs of the disorder had been present for a long time, but I hadn't paid much attention to them; however, hearing the specialist confirm the diagnosis came as a heavy blow.

Thank you for your kind words. I hope we can manage to improve our condition! <3
 
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whocaresabouttrans

whocaresabouttrans

Dumbest of dumb girls
Jun 23, 2026
19
I don't know what to think. On one hand, I'm glad I finally understand why my life turned out the way it did. On the other, the realization that I have a chronic, incurable illness plunges me into deep despair. I'll have to take medication for the rest of my life, and the best I can hope for is remission - and even that depends on finding a truly effective treatment.

I've realized that for the past year and a half, I've been in a state of bipolar depression, and honestly, I see no end to it.

I don't know exactly what is keeping me from suicide right now. It's probably just curiosity - wondering what happens next - and the realization that things could be much worse.

I see no point in life and no future for myself; this drains me of any motivation to strive for anything.
That last line is exactly what I felt when I got diagnosed with BPD 3 years, I wish I could tell you that the feeling eventually goes away, it doesn't... It just gets a little bit less of an overwhelming feeling..
 
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B

Bitter Almonds

Student
Jan 16, 2026
104
Welcome to the club. I've lived with my diagnosis for almost 20 years now. It's difficult, but doable.

On the plus side, the treatments can make life far more bearable.
 
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pieceoffox

pieceoffox

Member
Mar 12, 2026
41
That last line is exactly what I felt when I got diagnosed with BPD 3 years, I wish I could tell you that the feeling eventually goes away, it doesn't... It just gets a little bit less of an overwhelming feeling..
I understand - it really is hard. I'm glad that, at the very least, it's starting to feel less unbearable. In any case, that's something - though, of course, it would be better to get rid of the feeling completely đź’”
Welcome to the club. I've lived with my diagnosis for almost 20 years now. It's difficult, but doable.

On the plus side, the treatments can make life far more bearable.
After my last visit to the psychiatrist, my medication dosage was increased, and I really hope to see a positive result
 
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Aqua_Velvet

Aqua_Velvet

Researching
Jul 5, 2026
10
I think one thing to consider is Bipolar Disorder is a thing you have, it is not your identity.

Edited for clarity.
 
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H

Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
2,512
I think one thing to consider is BPD is a thing you have, it is not your identity.
bipolar disorder isn't BPD it's borderline personality disorder.
 
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