mayachcos
Member
- Feb 18, 2026
- 17
I was warded for months in a mental hospital after my failed suicide in March to overdose on benzodiazepines. While warded, I was drugged out of my mind on relaxants, antidepressants and all. I couldn't focus on anything and the only thing i had for comfort was reading a few books I had.
I've been out for a while and I hate how my brain just keeps getting worse. I feel like no amount of antidepressants can help me erase the endless thoughts, nightmares, and torment I have. At this point I've had support from so many of my friends, psychologists have talked to me, but I just can't be saved.
There's something seriously wrong with me and I hate it. I wish I didn't have to ever come back here but it's a place of comfort for me. It's a place where I can talk about my thoughts of death without being sent to a ward.
I really want to apologise to all my friends and family, because they all think I'm improving, yet I'm back here, stuck in another depressive spiral.
I've been out for a while and I hate how my brain just keeps getting worse. I feel like no amount of antidepressants can help me erase the endless thoughts, nightmares, and torment I have. At this point I've had support from so many of my friends, psychologists have talked to me, but I just can't be saved.
There's something seriously wrong with me and I hate it. I wish I didn't have to ever come back here but it's a place of comfort for me. It's a place where I can talk about my thoughts of death without being sent to a ward.
I really want to apologise to all my friends and family, because they all think I'm improving, yet I'm back here, stuck in another depressive spiral.
