pushing people away

[MissLisa]

I feel the more this world throws at me, the longer I remain alive the more I am pushing loved ones away. They say they don't recognise me sometimes. I get told things about them and when I mention anything it hurts them. I just think the sooner I am gone the better for everyone.
I have been struggling for years, sometimes fighting and trying to live but too much has happened lately and I can't fight anymore. I am quite isolated and so only have very few around me yet I seem to be pushing what little Ii have away.
I don't want to hurt anyone. I am not very good at doing things alone, I need support and reassurance with a lot of things.
I don't deserve to walk among people of this world, it hurts. I hurt for them not me.

 

[Pluto]

Unless they have life experience in your situation, the best they can do is clumsily try to help and then withdraw in defeat when they inevitably fail. We like to think of 'loved ones' as the highest tier of our social life, but many here find that far more support and understanding can come from strangers on the internet, who may at least be going through the same thing.

 

[MissLisa]

Unless they have life experience in your situation, the best they can do is clumsily try to help and then withdraw in defeat when they inevitably fail. We like to think of 'loved ones' as the highest tier of our social life, but many here find that far more support and understanding can come from strangers on the internet, who may at least be going through the same thing.

Yes, I find myself coming back here when things are bad enough for me to start planning to leave. It is so reassuring to have you guys that truly understand and don't judge. I am grateful for this site