perfect ctb word vomit

[beyond_aquila_rift]

I keep reliving my perfect ctb moment but I don't ctb.

I go for a run. I get an incredible high. I feel calm and ready to die.

I think in that moment. Why is it so hard to ctb peacefully at my own will. Why can't I end this incredible feeling with the nothingness I need.


:(

 

[GravityUtilizer]

I know what you mean; I get runner's high too. I'm genuinely thinking of running off a cliff.

 

[BridgeJumper]

I love going on ridiculously long walks and imagining the Perfect Jump in my head