Venting Disinterested in life

[ctb_warrior]

I get this question a lot. If I know so many methods to improve life and cheat codes to hack life, why do I want to CTB?

It's a good question indeed.

I'll give an example. As a kid, i loved chocolates. I used to buy a lot of them whenever I could. Just last week, my father brought a big bar of my favourite chocolate with him. And I didn't have the slightest urge to even touch the packet.
I earn now, I have my own money, I can buy lots of chocolates with that, but I don't want to.

This is what happens when you are disinterested in life. I have the ability to buy my favourite chocolate that i loved to eat as a kid and if i was not disinterested in life, I could have loved it even now, so do I buy it when I'm disinterested? No!

Why? Because when you are disinterested, all you seek is peace. Your desires end. You don't want anything but peace.

So, that's my story

I just want to ctb, like in this moment, right now.. but, i don't have a method that I can implement fast and sneakingly without any suspicious object/chemical or any special setup..

If any one has any idea on this, please suggest. I have had enough of this life.
I attempted ctb in 2003,2005,2006,2011,2019,2023,2024 and few others here and there

 

[Baka]

I feel the same.. When I was younger, I never gave myself a goal to die. "When I turn 18, I'll end it." I always had something that gave me just enough motivation to keep on living. Whether it was the newest anime, or this game that was coming out. Even just the desire to dress up and look cool was enough. None of it matters to me though now. I eat to eat, i sleep to sleep. The delicious banana pudding that gave me joy, is just a short form of happiness.

I hope you find your peace. Until then, please reward the younger you for making it so far with a chocolate treat. You really deserve it.

 

[h4ppyhypoxia]

i really feel you and its sad, im slowly watching myself become more and more disinterested in life, i think its not possible to become more disinterested in it, then i do, i hope youre able to find at least one thing that gives you some comfort, its such a horrible state to be in

 

[ctb_warrior]

I feel the same.. When I was younger, I never gave myself a goal to die. "When I turn 18, I'll end it." I always had something that gave me just enough motivation to keep on living. Whether it was the newest anime, or this game that was coming out. Even just the desire to dress up and look cool was enough. None of it matters to me though now. I eat to eat, i sleep to sleep. The delicious banana pudding that gave me joy, is just a short form of happiness.

I hope you find your peace. Until then, please reward the younger you for making it so far with a chocolate treat. You really deserve it.

It's so relatable i too used to distract myself with cartoons, games, songs, programming, etc. even by focusing on my crush in school. Now that childlike enthusiasm is gone. Sure, if you say so.. I'll try to have a piece of chocolate thank you dear.. You are too kind.. May you find your peace in whatever you choose

 

[h4ppyhypoxia]

It's so relatable i too used to distract myself with cartoons, games, songs, programming, etc. even by focusing on my crush in school. Now that childlike enthusiasm is gone. Sure, if you say so.. I'll try to have a piece of chocolate thank you dear.. You are too kind.. May you find your peace in whatever you choose

i hope you enjoy your chocolate, even a little bit of enjoyment is better than none, sending love

 

[ctb_warrior]

i really feel you and its sad, im slowly watching myself become more and more disinterested in life, i think its not possible to become more disinterested in it, then i do, i hope youre able to find at least one thing that gives you some comfort, its such a horrible state to be in

This is really true. Once we get disinterested, usually, there's no going back. I can watch my favourite cartoons on YouTube, i can buy ps5 to play games, i can buy a piano to play music, but nope. I'm done. It's really a horrible state to be in.
Though what I'm finding my comfort these days is, while i browse through the articles and methods on SaSu, i write articles sharing my knowledge of transforming life and the cheat codes that i have learnt along the way so that someone who is looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, they can create the light themselves.. If i could help even one person out, that'd be satisfying that i could make a good difference with my existence while i existed.

i hope you enjoy your chocolate, even a little bit of enjoyment is better than none, sending love

Hehe hope so sending love to you too

 

[h4ppyhypoxia]

This is really true. Once we get disinterested, usually, there's no going back. I can watch my favourite cartoons on YouTube, i can buy ps5 to play games, i can buy a piano to play music, but nope. I'm done. It's really a horrible state to be in.
Though what I'm finding my comfort these days is, while i browse through the articles and methods on SaSu, i write articles sharing my knowledge of transforming life and the cheat codes that i have learnt along the way so that someone who is looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, they can create the light themselves.. If i could help even one person out, that'd be satisfying that i could make a good difference with my existence while i existed.

Hehe hope so sending love to you too

i relate a lot to what youre saying and its kinda sad to look back at just how passionate i was at certain things and not feel that anymore, for me feeling negatively is really bad, but the worst thing is the absence of feeling positive, bc then its like ive not got anything to "get me through" the bad times, but honestly thats why im so glad i have this site, these feelings would be so so much worse if i had to navigate them completely alone

 

[2Sensible]

I feel you.
I also have this disinterest in life, but before 13 i used to be so excited for everything, idk how it happens, it pisses me off so much.

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

I understand. The idea of peace seems impossible to me while I am alive. The very nature of the human body does not allow for it. Every moment, from the time we are born, is an internal war to survive the attacks we endure. And, curiously, this mechanism that strives to keep the body alive can turn against it, as happens with autoimmune diseases. This detail highlights the meaninglessness of life and the randomness to which we are subject. In truth, what we understand as peace "can only exist" in a state of non-existence. We won't feel it in that state, but that won't matter. While I am alive, I know exactly what life is—the sensations that being alive brings, the daily repetition, and the lack of meaning. That terrible feeling of knowing there is nothing ahead waiting for me but old age, illness (which could be slow and painful), and death.

 

[ctb_warrior]

i relate a lot to what youre saying and its kinda sad to look back at just how passionate i was at certain things and not feel that anymore, for me feeling negatively is really bad, but the worst thing is the absence of feeling positive, bc then its like ive not got anything to "get me through" the bad times, but honestly thats why im so glad i have this site, these feelings would be so so much worse if i had to navigate them completely alone

That's so very true.. if this site was not there, i don't know how bad my mental state could have been right now. I can talk to you all that's why I'm better right now. And actually not even that much inclined towards ctb.

I feel you.
I also have this disinterest in life, but before 13 i used to be so excited for everything, idk how it happens, it pisses me off so much.

True, the world is such, insensitive people create such circumstances for us that we lose that enthusiasm. And these insensitive people don't even realise the damage they do

I understand. The idea of peace seems impossible to me while I am alive. The very nature of the human body does not allow for it. Every moment, from the time we are born, is an internal war to survive the attacks we endure. And, curiously, this mechanism that strives to keep the body alive can turn against it, as happens with autoimmune diseases. This detail highlights the meaninglessness of life and the randomness to which we are subject. In truth, what we understand as peace "can only exist" in a state of non-existence. We won't feel it in that state, but that won't matter. While I am alive, I know exactly what life is—the sensations that being alive brings, the daily repetition, and the lack of meaning. That terrible feeling of knowing there is nothing ahead waiting for me but old age, illness (which could be slow and painful), and death.

You've summed it up so accurately. Everyday every moment is a struggle from the day we are born. Childhood was still somewhat nice when waking up to a brand new day was exciting. I have just woken up and I'm like why is it morning so early. I wish there were few more hours to night so i could be away from reality for couple more hours. This past weekend, i slept a lot just to be away from reality. In my particular case, after my breakup, I have chosen not to get married, so that I don't have to burden someone else with my intention to ctb. So, I'll ctb, that's for sure, when, i don't know i have tried so hard to but failed in every attempt.

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

That's so very true.. if this site was not there, i don't know how bad my mental state could have been right now. I can talk to you all that's why I'm better right now. And actually not even that much inclined towards ctb.

True, the world is such, insensitive people create such circumstances for us that we lose that enthusiasm. And these insensitive people don't even realise the damage they do

You've summed it up so accurately. Everyday every moment is a struggle from the day we are born. Childhood was still somewhat nice when waking up to a brand new day was exciting. I have just woken up and I'm like why is it morning so early. I wish there were few more hours to night so i could be away from reality for couple more hours. This past weekend, i slept a lot just to be away from reality. In my particular case, after my breakup, I have chosen not to get married, so that I don't have to burden someone else with my intention to ctb. So, I'll ctb, that's for sure, when, i don't know i have tried so hard to but failed in every attempt.

I am certain that, of all the moments I have experienced in over sixty years of existence, it was while sleeping that I felt truly fulfilled. The upside of being old is knowing that, one way or another, my time is drawing to a close. I will not miss any of the pleasures I have known, nor do I yearn for the good times—not even those I experienced yesterday or today. When I am dying, I will try with all my might to think of everything that will cease to be a source of discomfort. And, finally, I will be free of this useless consciousness.

 

[itsgone2]

Life is brutal and unfair. Sadly I was tricked for decades. Completely tricked.
Then all of the harshest brutalities come to pass. Insane.

 

[Pluto]

 

[ctb_warrior]

I am certain that, of all the moments I have experienced in over sixty years of existence, it was while sleeping that I felt truly fulfilled. The upside of being old is knowing that, one way or another, my time is drawing to a close. I will not miss any of the pleasures I have known, nor do I yearn for the good times—not even those I experienced yesterday or today. When I am dying, I will try with all my might to think of everything that will cease to be a source of discomfort. And, finally, I will be free of this useless consciousness.

Sleeping is blissful. Although it's Monday today, so for me, it's 5 days of mental torture at work. Can't even sleep, can't even ctb
I seriously wonder what's the use of this consciousness. Humans have anyways messed up the planet terribly. With global temperature rising. AI servers utilising so much of fresh water to cool down itself.
You know if I get old, i don't even know how to cook, i wonder today i can manage myself, at your age, I'll be handicapped in a way. Dependent on others for my basic needs.

Life is brutal and unfair. Sadly I was tricked for decades. Completely tricked.
Then all of the harshest brutalities come to pass. Insane.

Life is unfair to the nice and sensitive ppl because we think, we feel, we are considerate.
I have noticed this through observation, that bold and insensitive people don't ever feel like ctb, because they don't think too much, they don't feel anything. They are just focused on what they want. They don't care for other's feelings.

Haha this one made me smile it's so cute

 

[Lost_Dawns]

there is a song i sometimes listen to that actually talked about this, one of the lyrics is, if i can remember correctly:

"To lose interest in life and to wish you never tried."

Great song not going to lie, might resonate with a lot of people here

 

[ctb_warrior]

there is a song i sometimes listen to that actually talked about this, one of the lyrics is, if i can remember correctly:

"To lose interest in life and to wish you never tried."

Great song not going to lie, might resonate with a lot of people here

These lines are so relatable it resonated with me as well

 

[Lost_Dawns]

These lines are so relatable it resonated with me as well

i realize i did not say the song in my post

it is "It's Normal" by yonkagor

 

[ctb_warrior]

i realize i did not say the song in my post

it is "It's Normal" by yonkagor

I'll check it out, thanks for sharing