Parents

[snooperdooper]

My parents have practically complete control over me despite being an adult. I lack so much independence in part due to my inability to function as a regular human being and their worry that I might kill myself. Which I definitely will.

I don't want them to do anything that would land me in a mental hospital, but it is still so frustrating to see them do absolutely nothing about my situation. They know I want to kill myself, I literally told them straight up that was my intention and my only want in life. But now, because of them removing all the tools in my life which I could've used to kill myself, I'm stuck living. Existing. I don't do anything, I don't benefit them in any way. I'm a parasite on their finances and well being. Why do they insist on keeping me alive, like a specimen in a test tube? They won't help me kill myself, but they don't care enough to "help me" in any meaningful way. I hate them.

My mind has slipped a couple times and I fantasized about killing them. Nothing I would actually go through with. I feel ashamed for even thinking about it. But it's like the only escape I have. I'm trapped living because they insist on keeping me alive. It's excruciating. It's torture.

 

[derekWest]

So sorry for your situation !

Obsouvly, I urge you to keep calm and not murder anyone.

Your situation remember me a behavior that I see often in the human (me also....) : contradictory desire.
I think that your family love you but they don't want to help you as needed (maybe because it need a LOT of energy and time, it is not your fault, just it is).

I don't know what to tell you... except get an external help (whatever the nature).

Hope that your situation will get better in anyway.

 

[Box]

yeah i can relate. my mom controls everything, my bank account, paypal, everything. but i can't do anything since if i try to gain back control she will just kick me out and i'll be homeless, she also regularly searches through my room to search for razor blades or lighters. my only option is to order sn with crypto and ship it to an address near me where i can pick it up. so yeah i relate a lot

 

[Paizen]

My parents have practically complete control over me despite being an adult. I lack so much independence in part due to my inability to function as a regular human being and their worry that I might kill myself. Which I definitely will.

I don't want them to do anything that would land me in a mental hospital, but it is still so frustrating to see them do absolutely nothing about my situation. They know I want to kill myself, I literally told them straight up that was my intention and my only want in life. But now, because of them removing all the tools in my life which I could've used to kill myself, I'm stuck living. Existing. I don't do anything, I don't benefit them in any way. I'm a parasite on their finances and well being. Why do they insist on keeping me alive, like a specimen in a test tube? They won't help me kill myself, but they don't care enough to "help me" in any meaningful way. I hate them.

My mind has slipped a couple times and I fantasized about killing them. Nothing I would actually go through with. I feel ashamed for even thinking about it. But it's like the only escape I have. I'm trapped living because they insist on keeping me alive. It's excruciating. It's torture.

I am in a similar situation but mutually cut ties so I might just die off in the natural selection way unless I can figure out a way to survive, but can I ask

What would meaningful help look like for you?

 

[derekWest]

For me , they don't care in some way. They know that we can't stop a guy that want to ctb. When we want, we can.

 

[snooperdooper]

I am in a similar situation but mutually cut ties so I might just die off in the natural selection way unless I can figure out a way to survive, but can I ask

What would meaningful help look like for you?

I put it in quotation marks because I obviously know it's not the correct path for me. But they don't even try is what I mean. They are literally doing nothing while fully aware of the state I am in. I would hate them so much more if they tried shipping me off to a mental institute and forcing me into therapy, but there is still hate there for simply forcing me to live. I presume the only way they could win back my admiration is if they actually realized what needs to be done to help me be happy. But I know they'll never do that.

 

[Paizen]

I put it in quotation marks because I obviously know it's not the correct path for me. But they don't even try is what I mean. They are literally doing nothing while fully aware of the state I am in. I would hate them so much more if they tried shipping me off to a mental institute and forcing me into therapy, but there is still hate there for simply forcing me to live. I presume the only way they could win back my admiration is if they actually realized what needs to be done to help me be happy. But I know they'll never do that.

Making a person happy is really hard especially from a parent, especially in a fucked society. The best they can do is give you food to eat and a roof over your head, and not try and ship you off to a mental institution.