Overcoming survival instinct

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I am trying incredibly hard to overcome SI but I find this to be a monumental, if not impossible task.

I've read many accounts of death by SN, taken in the wisdom by those who are no longer in this world, and my knowledge has manifested into horrific nightmares.

I keep having vivid nightmares about my suicide, where I may have last minute regrets and slowly succumb to agony. While it seems SN is relatively painless for most, I do have gastrointestinal issues and difficulty swallowing, so I fully anticipate a reasonable degree of discomfort.

Genuinely felt 100 % ready to ctb until I started having these nightmares. Now I am not sure how to overcome survival instinct and carry out the act.

I cannot stay alive because I will eventually become homeless as a result of being disabled, there is 0 assistance out there for a person in my situation. I have to die, but it seems this fear doesn't want to be conquered.

 

[FuneralCry]

Sorry you are suffering so much, this life can be cruel. The SI is hard to overcome as we are programmed to live, it is our natural instinct. I hope that one day I will reach a point of despair and hopelessness and be able to overcome it, but I am not sure. It can be hard to take our lives even if we want to die. I wish you well.

 

[Worndown]

Each method would need a different strategy to trick the mind and get you past the point of no return. As many here can attest, it is not easy.

 

[LittleJem]

I will try and do it on drugs if I do it. I'm not sure which ones....

 

[hʚll]

nightmares are ways life is using to scare you to not do it. and this awareness is important i think because it somehow puts you one step ahead of life's way of fooling you to not kill yourself (you already know what life trying to do.) i know it's still terrifying. and difficult to overcome the fears. but sometimes it helps me to remind myself that life is a liar and the nightmares it induces, they are lies too. idk how to express. what i mean to say is that i think maybe you can fool life in the same way it is doing with you, even by just costantly reminding who the enemy is (life) and how cruel it is. sometimes that's enough for me to find the mental energy to fight it. but i know is painful..
peace

 

[WornOutLife]

Hello dear!
It's so nice to read your words even though I know you haven't been experiencing "great days" lately.

I think SI really sucks and the only thing that actually helps me is alcohol and some other people might add, drugs.

Hugs and love to you!

Matt

 

[greyhound]

I think SI is proportional to the method. I think I would find it really difficult to use certain methods like jumping. SN is sort of in between for me. I think having N is comforting because I no longer have the fear that I will have to use some method I don't want. Maybe spring for N if you are certain you want to go.

On the other hand maybe your nightmares are an indication that you're not ready. I mean the threat of homelessness shouldn't really be a reason to CTB now. If you have a method you can always CTB at the point you find yourself in those circumstances. I know you suffer from chronic conditions and I don't know how bad it is for you day-day. But the fact that you're young and still considering taking crazy trips maybe means you should hold off. For me I just cannot manage to hold on much longer and I'm too sick to really do anything more at this point. I've already travelled and done life stuff and although it was painful I think maybe it was worth holding on for.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

My survival instinct becomes the stronger the closer the date of my planned death approaches. Sometimes I think it would help to have some time between the planned date and the point of no return. But you need the help of another person for this purpose.

 

[NormaJeane]

How do we overcome survival instinct? That is the problem. That is why most of us are here. And no one should have to die alone. It probably depends a lot on if the method is peaceful or not and if the suffering is stronger than the fact that we are programmed to live. But some people can do it fast without problem - what does that depend on? I believe that men find it easier to commit suicide than women. But the body is not created to kill itself - humans should have the right to euthanasia.