On a hill near some train tracks

[Lost Magic]

When my mother was very ill in hospital I remember going behind the back of the building. There was a tall, green hill that I would climb. I would sit there for hours and just gaze over at the train tracks, thinking maybe that would be a nice place to just lay down and call it a day. Back then I was thinking about more violent methods like that. I have sodium nitrite now, but I am thinking of going back to sit on that hill again, just to gaze over at the tracks.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds terrifying ctb by train. I would never choose that method. Nobody should have to resort to using a violent method, of course we deserve a peaceful exit. At least you have the SN though so you have a way to exit this world at a time of your choosing.

 

[Lost Magic]

It sounds terrifying ctb by train. I would never choose that method. Nobody should have to resort to using a violent method, of course we deserve a peaceful exit. At least you have the SN though so you have a way to exit this world at a time of your choosing.

Yes exactly. I think it was just a comforting feeling of knowing that I had a way out, even if it was not the best way. I have thought about hanging in the woods as well. But like you said, SN is now my method of choice.

 

[Bedrock48]

It sounds terrifying ctb by train. I would never choose that method.

Ik its maybe an unpopular view on here but I love the idea of ctb by train. There's something thrilling about the sheer power of them, if it didn't involve so many people (namely the driver) it'd be my chosen method. That's why I try to never go to a station without someone.

Very relatable post though, I've done similar myself. Sometimes that kinda daydreaming really gets you through the day even if it is a little unhealthy.

 

[http-410]

I can relate. Even when I have SN, I sometimes hang around the tracks and often think about ctb via train. I don't even know why, especially since ctb with SN probably wouldn't be quite as brutal and painful.

Probably the following sound like moralizing, but think twice about going back up the hill. I notice how I walk closer to the tracks almost every time, even though I don't really want to. The last time I even "put myself in danger" because a train was coming and I didn't hear it.

Once you start, it's a tricky thing to stop doing it. It's weird.

 

[soggyweeetabix]

I'm sure it's a quick way, but I don't want to traumatise some train driver. It just doesn't sit well with me.

 

[whywere]

Hello! 1st off It broke my heart reading about your mother being very ill, I pray that she is back to great health and with you.

It also broke my heart into more pieces with you sitting on the hill contemplating everything. YOU are truly are fantastic soul with a massively huge heart filled with love, caring and kindness. Just reading your post filled me with joy, for the love you have for your mom, sadness, for the anguish that made that time so difficult.

Please always try and remember that you are a good hearted soul with a lot of intelligence and I care about you a lot.

I send you lots of love and the knowledge that you are a huge part of SS and me, as since SS is my family, I have no other, you are like a brother to me.

Great weather with lots of love for this upcoming week,

Walter

 

[Lost Magic]

Hello! 1st off It broke my heart reading about your mother being very ill, I pray that she is back to great health and with you.

It also broke my heart into more pieces with you sitting on the hill contemplating everything. YOU are truly are fantastic soul with a massively huge heart filled with love, caring and kindness. Just reading your post filled me with joy, for the love you have for your mom, sadness, for the anguish that made that time so difficult.

Please always try and remember that you are a good hearted soul with a lot of intelligence and I care about you a lot.

I send you lots of love and the knowledge that you are a huge part of SS and me, as since SS is my family, I have no other, you are like a brother to me.

Great weather with lots of love for this upcoming week,

Walter

Thanks for the warm wishes. I truly appreciate it but my mother has gone now and I will be joining her soon.

 

[whywere]

Thanks for the warm wishes. I truly appreciate it but my mother has gone now and I will be joining her soon.

So sorry about your mom, it really breaks my heart for real. You are such a great person as one who loves and cares about others.

Always around if you want to talk, and sending you lots of hugs and love, as you are truly a person with a heart of gold and one who cares about others.

Walter

 

[forgotten15]

I am so sorry you are suffering. I live near a train station and thought about this method also, but it's a no no. It's an extremely violent way of dying and not worth the risk of failing.
But there is something about trains that gives me a weird nostalgic feeling, like I just want to lay on the tracks, close my eyes and let it all go.
Please take care, I hope you find peace no matter the path you choose.

 

[Elv_ira]

Firstly so sorry to read ab ur mother <3 n secondly I feel this. It's crazy how something so violent n horrific can..yet..be so hauntingly beautiful n calming at the same time. Or maybe I'm just f*cked up lol. Idk..its like this overwhelming but scary but euphoric but resounding sense of aliveness that finally equates to peace ur jus' overflown w. It doesn't make sense..but it does. It shouldn't feel right..but it does. Again idk lol but I jus' feel this post v v much. Sending luv <3

 

[Deleted member 8975]

Head on the rail. Real quick to get through SI. Just a moment in time. A moment gone by.

 

[hlynn95]

Train suicide is a terrible way to go! Pick a more peaceful route pls.

 

[Cheers]

That's why I try to never go to a station without someone.

This. Going to the train station, being at a high height/in a tall building, driving, etc...are all stuff i never do alone bc i feel like i cou'd very well screw up impulsively.

 

[Ash]

Head on the rail. Real quick to get through SI. Just a moment in time. A moment gone by.

This is one of my preferred methods. I'd go when it's dark and take headphones so I could play really loud music to help with the wait and mask the noise of the approaching train. Trouble is, I don't live anywhere near a high speed railway and so don't know where I would be able to get onto the tracks in the right place.

 

[ikadasui]

I was intent on train until I opted for firearms. I would always call them the freedom freights because once you board that badboy you're out

 

[Lost Magic]

Sending love to you all. Thanks for your warmth and compassion.

 

[whywere]

Sending love to you all. Thanks for your warmth and compassion.

Hi! You are a very good hearted soul, I picked that up after reading some of your posts here. Like I have said before in some of my post, I have no family or friends at all, except all the warm kind folks on here and that includes you.

We are all in this together and you have a friend in me as far as I think of you and I hope and pray that you have great memories of your mom in your heart and I send you lots of hugs, love and the knowledge that you are never ever alone on SS.

Please have a great rest of this week and a very nice upcoming weekend.

My best to you always,

Walter