Like i really try to fight. I try to avoid suicide. But nothing works. I like David Foster Wallace or Adam Maier Clayton (both ctb). Both said that you should not throw away your life lightly and do everything you can against suicide.
However I cannot see any solution for my problems. There are like 90% that my life will end very badly and 10% that something may work. I really try to do the best with the cards i've been dealt. It is just fucking frustrating. Poverty is one big big issue why i might ctb. And the prospects of earning money are so bad. I work really really hard...but there is no solution.
Life is so torturous. I do not want to give up already. But the worst is yet to come. And I am scared as hell about my future. If I will have another severe depression I try to end it. My life is just so ridiculous cynical I sometimes just want to forget everything and leave it behind. Past cannot be undone.
However I cannot see any solution for my problems. There are like 90% that my life will end very badly and 10% that something may work. I really try to do the best with the cards i've been dealt. It is just fucking frustrating. Poverty is one big big issue why i might ctb. And the prospects of earning money are so bad. I work really really hard...but there is no solution.
Life is so torturous. I do not want to give up already. But the worst is yet to come. And I am scared as hell about my future. If I will have another severe depression I try to end it. My life is just so ridiculous cynical I sometimes just want to forget everything and leave it behind. Past cannot be undone.
