Not sure if I really want, want to die

[9dominos]

Ok so for the past few years I've been really not wanting to live, life just isn't the best right now and I'm not seeing any future for me, not one that would matter. I've basically disappointed everyone I knew, and dragged the ones who stayed down with me. I suppose I wouldn't say my life is hopeless, and the idea of how others would react if I died is holding me back from actually doing it, since I know there are still some who would care. I've thought it planned it out multiple times on how I'd tie the noose and hang myself in the garage, but each time I just convince myself that I don't know what my future could look like, that I should just keep going until I die naturally, maybe it's because I don't want to be judged even after death but idk I might just be a whinny little b****
Hope this doesn't offend anyone, just want to see other opinions cause I don't want to keep living like this but I'm stumped

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Welcome to SS!

Why do you wanna die? How old r u? What r the reasons/triggers that make you suicidal? I think, we all would prefer a solution to the problems that make us suicidal rather than taking the action to CTB. But ultimately it's only your own decision.