Not Made for life

[toseeyousmile]

Last year, upon being a NEET for a year because I screwed up in uni, I was able to somehow convince my parents that I college would be the best option here(they got super competitive/Asian values). That took a lot out of me since I was honestly planning on ctbing before but I saw this as an opportunity to turn my life around, a second chance. Fast forward to now, 1 semester in, I was doing pretty decent at the beginning for like 4-5 weeks and then I skipped once, then again, then again.... You get the idea. The problem compiled and kept getting scarier and scarier to approach, and again instead of trying to fight for my life tooth and nail, I just ran away and avoided the problem.

I think a lot of people vent here of things that are outside their control, and for some that's even their reason for wanting to ctb. For me, I have no one to blame other than myself. I have no motivation to live and anytime I encounter a problem I try my best to run from it and avoid it. I can't see myself in any situation that's not shit in the future so I'm hoping to ctb soon, I got my sn. I carry with my a lot of guilt in making this decision, and a lot of guilt for failing those who helped and believed in me. This I believe is the biggest issue and reason for me wanting to ctb, I'm just not made for society, for life, in my case I've no one to blame but myself.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I don't think I'm cut out for life either, and I think I was just made that way. That's really why I resent living. Why be created in a way that guarantees I fail at life, no matter my talents, skills, motivations, etc. Nothing I do in life will ever change that. I should never have been born. Perhaps this is actually Hell.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also see myself as not being meant for this life, I cannot cope with life and I also have no motivation to live, I never have done. Maybe some people are just not meant for this world. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[SovietSuicide]

No need to feel guilty.

There's no obligation for you to do anything just because you were born, you didn't consent.