holdontilmay
New Member
- May 18, 2026
- 2
hi, i've been using this site to plan my ctb for the last 6 months and my date recently arrived. i chose psh as my method. i practiced a handful of times before to find the right spot and get used to the feeling of the rope.
i officially attempted for the first time 2 nights ago. it took me a bit of adjusting to find a comfortable position (standing with my back against the anchor point and sitting slightly) but once i found it i experienced the tingly feeling thru my body and my vision getting blurry. i also had some alcohol during that first attempt (not a lot, but i am a bit of a light weight). i was so close to becoming fully unconscious but then my SI kicked in and my body kept standing up to get a breath of air. i know i can hold my breath longer than i was in the position, but the fainting feeling wouldn't let me. i kept standing up to let myself breathe then trying to sit down again. i could see myself going red/purple in the mirror. eventually i js decided to abort and try again the following night bc ppl in the house were waking up (it was around 7am, i had been attempting for around an hr). i ended up kinda nauseous and vomitted once.
i made my 2nd attempt yesterday night. this time i didn't drink anything to try and avoid the nausea. but i just couldn't find the right spot, kept compressing my jugulars instead of carotids, and my body kept trying to make me stand for air. i even made a somewhat fsh attempt but SI kicked in even harder and made me get back up.
please give me any advice. i really need to ctb tonight. i don't have access to medications that might help with SI. i already told everyone im moving away so just showing back up like nothing happened isnt an option. god i so badly wish i had just seen it thru that first night.
i officially attempted for the first time 2 nights ago. it took me a bit of adjusting to find a comfortable position (standing with my back against the anchor point and sitting slightly) but once i found it i experienced the tingly feeling thru my body and my vision getting blurry. i also had some alcohol during that first attempt (not a lot, but i am a bit of a light weight). i was so close to becoming fully unconscious but then my SI kicked in and my body kept standing up to get a breath of air. i know i can hold my breath longer than i was in the position, but the fainting feeling wouldn't let me. i kept standing up to let myself breathe then trying to sit down again. i could see myself going red/purple in the mirror. eventually i js decided to abort and try again the following night bc ppl in the house were waking up (it was around 7am, i had been attempting for around an hr). i ended up kinda nauseous and vomitted once.
i made my 2nd attempt yesterday night. this time i didn't drink anything to try and avoid the nausea. but i just couldn't find the right spot, kept compressing my jugulars instead of carotids, and my body kept trying to make me stand for air. i even made a somewhat fsh attempt but SI kicked in even harder and made me get back up.
please give me any advice. i really need to ctb tonight. i don't have access to medications that might help with SI. i already told everyone im moving away so just showing back up like nothing happened isnt an option. god i so badly wish i had just seen it thru that first night.
